If spanking is bad, how do you discipline a one year old?

Question

My child is always in things no matter how much I tell him "NO", I read that spanking is not good for your childs development, so what do you do to make them know you mean business?

Answer 1

One year olds are very inquisitive because developmentally they are learning so much every day. Your son does not need any punishment such as a spanking or a time-out, he is much too young. What he needs is constant supervision in an enviornment that is conducive to learning about his world in a safe way. Distraction is the best way to guide your child at this age. Whenever he is in something he shouldn't be, telling him "no" will have no affect on him because he has not yet learned what that means. Take him physically away from whatever he is not supposed to be in with gentle words and get him involved with something appropriate. An example: Your son is always picking up the phone and pushing the buttons. When you notice this, you say, "Son, that phone is not a toy, let's go into the family room and use your phone to call daddy." Then you go with him and pretend to call daddy on his toy phone. If he doesn't have a toy phone, buy him one. You may have to do this same thing 100 times before he knows you mean business. He will know you mean business when every time he touches the phone, you do the same thing. Consistency is the key. If you get frustrated and don't feel you can continue to remove him from the phone then take the next step and put the phone up where he can't reach it. There are many viewpoints on spanking. I occassionally used a swat on the bottom with my kids and they all turned out just fine. This is especially effective when you need their attention such as when they are out of control. A little swat on the bottom will catch them off guard and you'll have their attention. I have also used a slap on the hand if they are repeatedly doing or touching something that is dangerous to them such as touching the stove, trying to stick things in the electrical outlet, or reaching for a hot cup of coffee. Keep your one year old occupied with lots of play, reading books, taking walks, putting puzzles together, building with blocks, singing songs, dancing, and letting him help with whatever you are trying to do. Give him washcloths to fold when you fold towels. Give him a spoon and bowl with a little flour when you are baking so he can help mix things too. Put him up on a stool so he can help you wash dishes. Give him a rag when you dust. Let him put napkins on the plates when you set the table for dinner. He will need some practice, but he can be helpful in lots of things that you are trying to de. Even if it does slow you down it is good practice for when he is older.

Answer 2

I know it's hard...but a 1 year old has NO IDEA what is good or bad - hence the discipline dilema. At that age it is REALLY hard to discipline, on my experience. What I do is try to divert the attention to another positive thing ie toy or another distraction that is positive....My son is nearly 2 and never left alone because he is at such an iquisitive age that everything he gets into is a learning experience for him. I am constantly removing items from his hands and putting them in a place he cannot get to... its learning for both you and the child. Be patient and understand that a one year old does not understand what NO means just yet. This is not what you want to hear but it gets harder so be PATIENT! At 2 years old, I find myself raising my voice a bit to make an impression that I mean business but I never raise my had to my child.

Answer 3

Having the same problem with my 16 month old son. But I agree that spanking doesnt work, and is not necessary, I have a sister in law that smacks her kids all the time and they are the same as ours for behaviour, and we don't smack ours.... What I could suggest for example, is when my little guy is touching something he's not allowed ie the c.d rack, I firmly tell him NO, and move him from it. He naturally goes back and does it again later, but I keep moving him away and saying no. I think it dosnt matter whether you spank them or not, their still going to do it again, and this way your not puting his trust in you at risk. I know its a pain in the butt sometimes, but thats just part of raising little ones, we have to accept it. They are going to be curious and do it again.. all we can really do is be consistant. another great idea is diversion, distract him with something else.. Good Luck, I hope you find the answer you are looking for.

Answer 4

Spanking is not bad. Spank them as needed. I do. I start when they are babies--if they are being too wiggly on the changing table I give their bare butt a slap and they stop. They might try it a couple more times but after that they learn. You need to spank appropriately, though. For example, if you want a tantruming child to stop screaming, a spanking is only going to make them scream louder. YOu have to do what's necessary to first stop the behavior and then train them that that behavior won't be tolerated in the future.

Answer 5

I redirected a lot! Now he's 16 months old, I count to 3. If I get to 3 he gets a time out. I tell him why he's going to time out, they are smarter than you think. After awhile, he knows what he's not supposed to do, so if he does something like picking up our phone, I just point and he'll walk away. I've never had to spank.

Answer 6

Re-direct him before he gets into something he shouldn't.

Swap what he shouldn't have for what he should have. (No, that's not yours, here--this is yours.")

Take things away. Put them where he can't get them. Put him in time out for a minute if you really need to..

You know a one year old is supposed to be getting into things---curiosity about the world around him is a sign of intelligence and willingness to learn and try new things. It is what you WANT.

Your job is to restrict the areas he uses so he's only encountering things he is supposed to play with. Or take dangerous things out of the way.

The issue with spanking and a kid as young as one isn't just about its "not good for his development"--it is inappropriate for his level of development. In other words, hitting him because he isn't completely capable of either understanding you or controlling himself is wrong.

I mean, you wouldn't spank him for wetting a diaper, right? Kids this age don't have a lot of self-control, so its up to us to keep them in situations where they don't need to exercise self-control.

Answer 7

I dont think a tap on the hand while saying NO to the child, will hurt his development. My son is 2 and when he started walking he got into everything. i started tapping his hands and he started to understand what things he should not do. A time out for a 1 year old is a litle extreme because I don't think he will understand the concept. Tap him on the hand and then explain why what he did is wrong.

Answer 8

For a child as young as one year old, "no" doesn't mean much more than "yes" or "cat." A single quick "spat" to the leg is sometimes appropriate if he is doing something to endanger himself. I would never use MORE than that, as he probably wouldn't understand why you did it. A spat to the leg can deter him from doing something that might get him hurt a lot worse; it's something I used with my son until he was old enough to use discipline such as time-out or removal of toys; even then, I probably didn't have to do it more than three or four times - it got his attention, and that's what I was really after.

Answer 9

1 year old just don't understand no. Redirection works best at this age. basically you stop them from doing something you don't want them to do by giving them something else to do. example: your son is doing something you don't want like jumping on the couch, pick him up , say no jumping on the couch. let's plays hot wheels instead" Continue to say no to the things you don't want him to do but give him something else to do instead. This can be easier said than done sometimes when you've had enough and they have more energy than a wind up toy but it really does work. soon he'll be ready for timeouts.

Answer 10

This is a difficult age to try to discipline. If time out does not work try to redirect their attention toward another activity. Get them interested in something else.