my sister and mom feel like i'm trying to be a second mother to my sister but what can i do to stop it?

Question

ok so my sister and I are 6 years apart and i feel like i'm always having to put my input in cause you know i've been there done that and found out the what the outcome is and she just dosn't understand that ex: she dosn't do her hw and she lies and tells my parents she has and i catch her on her lie and tell my parents and they tell me to mind my own buisness and then you know i bring up the fact im just looking out for her cause i did the same thing and struggled in school and then i get well your not her mother i am so let me handle this and the same thing happens the next day!!! there are sooo many things like that, that happen i just need help for the sanity of my family and any longer and like my mother says i'm going to check into the crazy house my self

Answer 1

Just tell your sister to shutup and do her **** she needs to do.

Answer 2

Oh sweetie, we're going through the same thing here, at this moment!
I've got two daughters, one 14 and the other 11. The 14 year old gives her sister no space at all, constantly tries to run her life, etc etc.
My younger daughter told me the other day that she feels bullied, her sister puts her under so much pressure.
I obviously don't have the right answer but can I suggest that you remember you were free - imagine having someone passing an opinion and trying to control every aspect of your life. You grew up without that and you're still a caring and kind person with a lot to give.
Remember: Mind your own business. Harsh, but true. Let your sister come to you for help. If she hasn't done her homework, the school will let your mum know.
It does upset me when I have to protect my younger daughter from my older daughters constant interference. And then of course, we have the "She's your favourite!" She Isn't, but I do have to look out for her more! If you stepped back, your mother would be able to take control rather than having to put you in your place all the time.
So good luck, it's the curse of the older child. Your sister will grow up, make her own mistakes. The difference is whether or not she will love you, admire you or just resent you.

Answer 3

Well, I would say that the only thing you can do is sit down with your family and tell them how you feel. Tell them you are sorry for seeming like the second mom but you are worried your sister will go through the same thing you did. Try not to yell and tell them that you will ease up. Then take your sister and talk to her alone and tell her that if she ever needs help with anything that you are there for her. Oh, and telling your parents probably won't help just try to help your sister with out bringing them into. You have to gain her trust if you want her to listen. It is good to have an open relationship with your family. Good luck.

Answer 4

I am 12 years older than my sister. I have a family of my own now. Even though I no longer live in the same house with my sister, I still do this. I don't agree with the way our mother lets her get away with some things, important ones, like school. From early on, my sister wouldn't go to school as regularly as she should have(and I had to). My mom would write her note, take her to the Dr.(even if she didn't need to go), or whatever she needed to do to get her absence excused. I know just how important a high school diploma is, because I have a GED instead. I started working when I was 16 and let it interfer with school and school work (btw my sister is not working). It took me like 5 years to get the nerve to go get my GED. I didn't have to take any classes and I graduated top 5 out of 183 ppl. (I was taking college prep courses in high school) I told my sister yes, that was an accomplishment, but how much more could I have done if I had applied myself in school. I try to tell my mom to make her go and stuff, but they don't always listen. She(my sis) is suppose to graduate this year and has started off like all the other years. I try to tell her I'm speaking from experience-like you-not just being opionated, but it is up to her to listen. And don't even get me started on her boyfriend! lol No matter how much good we mean it is up to them to listen, but sometimes they just insist on learning the hard way. Just try and remember if it is a mistake, it is hers to make, just be there for her and support her. Let her know you do it out of love because you really do care, and then when she finds out for herself, let her know you are there for her. Just don't say I told you so, she will have figured this out already. It's easier on the outside looking in. Good luck.

Answer 5

I know your looking out for your sister but the thing is I do the same thing but really only cause my mom is gone and we live with our dad. But I try to put my opion in a way that doesn't seem like I'm trying to be incharge. Thats the best advice I can give. Hope it helps.
Cassandra J

Answer 6

You are looking for MEANING in life. So you have chosen to be a 2nd mom for your sister. Forget it, that is your mother's job, not yours. Take up daily aerobics, stretching, and weightlifting every other day. You will feel great about yourself and not worry any more about your sister.

Save people that want to be save. If you decide to save people that do not want to be saved, then you are no different than a Jehova's Witness.

Answer 7

You just can't seem to win on this one.

Maybe you should lay low and allow things to go their own way. Your mother may see the light in the long run.