Both my fiance's family and mine are huge, and we want a smaller wedding with less than 50 people. How do we avoid people being hurt about not receiving an invitation to the ceremony?
2007-01-11 12:46:06 · 12 answers · asked by Missing 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I don't know if you can avoid hurting feelings but people will just have to understand. Planning a wedding can be a big and expensive undertaking. It's yours and your fiance's day and you should have it the way you want it. Have you thought of eloping and having a party when you come back? This would generally narrow the ceremony down to immediate family but you could have a bigger gathering later.
2007-01-11 12:51:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
The best thing to do is to limit your guest list for just close family. If you start inviting a few friends, but not others, inevitably there will be some hurt feelings. But if you explain to people that it will just be close family, people usually understand.
Also, if your friends still want to do something, you can have a bridal shower or some other sort of party before the wedding to celebrate with other friends and coworkers who are not invited to the party - maybe just an informal get-together at a bar.
2007-01-12 17:23:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you really shouldn't have to explain anything, because people should not pester you about this. People should never assume anything, and if they are, or if they are trying to invite themselves, then they are being rude.
On your part, you should try to keep your wedding plans under your hat, because when you're talking about it to people they will be led to believe you plan to invite them.
Create your guest list the same on each side, like you and groom need to decide-- if it will be just siblings, parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, then it should be the same on both sides. Then you don't need an explanation because the "circle" you invited on each side was perfectly fair, you didn't "pick and choose" between cousins, etc. so there is no reason feelings should be hurt.
Send out announcements (different from invitations) immediately after your ceremony to everyone who was not on the invitee list, to share your good news.
2007-01-12 01:19:14 · answer #3 · answered by Etiquette Gal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didn't mention whether they were being invited to the reception? It's okay-it happens often enough. If they are invited to the reception, explain that the ceremony venue is too small to accommodate everyone, and you had to draw a line somewhere.
If they cannot be invited to the reception either, then you can explain that it's both a spacial and financial issue.
Either way, you're getting married! Try to stop stressing over this and enjoy the planning.
Congratulations.
2007-01-12 10:17:07 · answer #4 · answered by Happy Wife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only way to avoid this is to confine your guest list to "immediate family", which may result in fewer than 50 guests. You could "sneak in" some really close friends if you know that your guests won't be talking to non-invitees. Otherwise, no matter what you do, there's going to be some hurt feelings. For the most part, I recommend that you let people know that you had to limit your guest list to 50 people due to budget and/or space restrictions (if, for example, you're getting married in a really limited venue like an historic mansion). You might consider doing a "family style" get-together like a picnic or barbeque at a later date to be introdroduced to each side of the family. This is where a destination wedding has its advantages.
2007-01-11 21:10:07 · answer #5 · answered by Yo' Mama 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Since you can't afford to have a huge wedding then have a big reception and have a place to cover the cost set up (money tree).
Or
After the wedding send out a nice wedding announcement to everyone that you didn't invite so that they can feel included. If you want you could send out a note to everyone letting them of the wedding and ask them to please send blessing and then send out the announcement. Every one looks forward to seeing the bride on her wedding day all dressed up. So be sure to include a photo. (some photographers will give you a good deal on like 3x5 if you buy a bunch of them)
Congrats
2007-01-11 21:57:47 · answer #6 · answered by samantha s 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Send announcements after the fact that you had a small intimate wedding or have an open house to invite everyone over to watch the nuptials on videotape or just to stop by and wish you well.
2007-01-11 21:49:29 · answer #7 · answered by Jenny 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well, since you are limiting people, you just have to bite the bullet and not worry about it. When I got married, we wanted as many as our friends and family there, to help us celebrate the wonderful day!
2007-01-12 06:58:19 · answer #8 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have a reception or informal get together later after your honeymoon.Just explain to everyone you are wanting to keep cost down, and that you will have a larger party at a later date.
2007-01-11 21:48:18 · answer #9 · answered by gigischildcare 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
send announcements that include something like "married in a private ceremony recently"
2007-01-11 22:31:24 · answer #10 · answered by Library Eyes 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋