a certain kid in his class. My son is in 2nd grade, in a 2nd 3rd combo class. The other child is in 3rd grade. I have spoken to the teacher about it and she admits the kid is out of control. He picks on all of the 2nd graders with his group of buddies. They leave tons of trash at the lunch tables and move and my son and his friends have to pick up after them, today they were playing and he called my son an idiot and shoved him. My son is passive and just takes it. Mine is one of those kids that everyone likes- a really nice boy. What should I do??
2007-01-11 12:39:39 · 17 answers · asked by Smilingcheek 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
PLEASE GET YOUR SON HELP, I HAD BEEN A VICTIM OF BULLY'S , THAT STARTED VERY BAD WHEN I WAS IN JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL AND THINGS NEVER GOT BETTER , I STILL REMEMBER THE BULLY'S THAT MADE FUN OF ME , AND CALLED ME NAMES , IF I EVER HAVE A CHILD THEY WILL NEVER BE BULLIED CAUSE I WILL TAKE MATTERS INTO MY OWN HANDS , MY HEART GOES OUT TO YOU AND YOUR SON,. PLEASE GET HIM HELP AND STOP IT NOW BEFORE HE GETS OLDER , IT CAN BECOME WORSE , AND LOOK , I AM MENTALLY ILL BECAUSE OF THE BULLY'S ..THEY CAN LIVE A HAPPY LIFE BUT MY LIFE'S STILL LIVING PAINFUL!
2007-01-11 12:47:34 · answer #1 · answered by ? 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
There are two ways you should go with this. The first one is through the proper channels at school. Request a meeting with the teacher, principal and guidance counselor. Make a list of all the things your son has told you about this child, and take it with you. Make sure you leave the meeting with an understanding of what, concrete, steps the school will be taking to deal with this situation. Follow up with the teacher periodically, to find out how things are going. The second thing you should do is teach your son to defend himself. Give him permission to hit this child back, if the child hits your son first. I know schools usually have a "zero tolerance" policy for hitting, but they obviously aren't enforcing it. Let your son know you will support him, and he will not get in trouble, if he is defending himself. My son had a similar situation when he was in the second grade. He was the "new kid on the block", and was having trouble with the boy down the street. My husband taught our son how to hit, and gave him permission to do it, if he had to defend himself. The time came when my son had to hit the boy, and that ended the bullying. The boys are now in the eighth grade, and are actually friends. Good luck!
2007-01-12 04:02:11 · answer #2 · answered by Tiss 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From a teaching stand point, it sounds like this kid needs a friend, and it could be that your son is the only one to match this guy.
I suggest that this is a good time to teach your son to stand up and fight for himself. I'm not saying that he should knock the bully down in pain, but simply stand up for himself (he doesn't even have to fight, he just has to stand ad take it if he has qualms about fighting). Eventually the bully will see that your son is not an easy target and will find someone else or actually begin to respect him.
Tell your son to always be kind-hearted to the bully as well (notice I did not say that he should cave in and hand over lunch money).
I did the same thing to a bully in first grade and eventually we became best friends. To this day, we still keep in close contact and I'm 22. You never know what opportunities await you.
PS -- If this does not work, and the teacher is at her wits end, go to the principal. They always know something about the troubled students...
2007-01-11 20:04:52 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you did the right thing by talking to his teacher. I wonder why your son and the other kids have to pick up their garbage if the teacher knows what is going on.. I can understand that it must hurt you to see your son going through this. I think that one of the best things you can do is to keep enforcing positive self esteam, maybe right now is a more crucial time to keep his self esteam high. Keep telling him how smart he is, and how well liked he is. This other kid may be picking on your kid because he lacks self esteam himself, and who knows, maybe he's being picked on at home. Maybe you could try having a meeting with his parents, and the principal and teacher? I know it must be so hard to know that your child is dealing with this at school. I wish you the best, and I hope you find the answers you are looking for. Good Luck
2007-01-11 12:49:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's so hard seeing your kids get picked on, it just rips your heart out. First of all, keep it in perspective. It's probably bothering you more than him. Kids are resilient and they get over things quickly. It's not like your son doesn't have his own group of friends. Secondly, maybe you could talk to the principal if your not getting anywhere with the teacher. It's not enough for her to admit the kid is out of control. What is she doing about it? The principal could help out here. If she gets enough complaints about this kid, maybe she will suspend him or something. Do what you can but try not to make a big deal out of it. Really, it hurts us more than it hurts them.
2007-01-11 12:47:57 · answer #5 · answered by Rairia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a really hard question. Will the administrators (principal, etc) help you?
we solved a similar problem when my son's older brother approached this a bully and let him know, he and his friends would visit him at the elementary school should they hear any more reports of his brutality. Nothing else worked with him until then. Dont let it continue as it causes lifelong issues with the bullied child.
2007-01-11 12:45:07 · answer #6 · answered by Eartha Q 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call a meeting with teacher, principle, school physiologist and any others who can be of help. State your problem inform them that the problem must be resolved ASAP. If this doesn't work get other parents to go with you and repeat above. If you still get no satisfaction start a rumor that the parents group has hired a lawyer and is going to the school board wait 2 weeks than hire the lawyer.
2007-01-12 03:41:07 · answer #7 · answered by dfuerstcat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the teacher admits he's out of control and isn't doing anything to change that then you definately need to go to the principal. Kids are followers. If other kids see this child picking on yours then other kids may start, too.
2007-01-11 12:47:25 · answer #8 · answered by Mommy to 2 cuties 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I just went through this a couple of years ago with my son. The school just did not want to get involved. I called the police and had reports made out on this kid, I then called the school and told them that I have proof and was going to call a lawyer. They got off thier butts quick and finally addressed the issue.
2007-01-11 12:48:33 · answer #9 · answered by dewdrop034 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
if i were you i would call the bully's parents. the teacher obviously isn't doing enough, so you will have to take on that role. if that doesn't work, talk to the principle. don't let this problem slip through the cracks. this kid is acting like this for a reason, so get to the bottom of it. tell them you want your kid to be put into another class if nothing is going to be done about it.
hope this helps
2007-01-11 12:48:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
it was a good idea contacting the teacher, and, like she said, a lot of times it really isn't the teacher's fault that the kids are nuts out of their mind, and they can be impossible to control. i'd try talking more to the teacher about the child's behavior, and then see if you could arrange a conference with the teacher, principal, you and your son, and the bully and his parents all in the same room. that way, both sides of the issue will be heard, and it will be easier to get to the bottom of the bullying.
2007-01-11 12:44:59 · answer #11 · answered by kittyluvr0223 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋