I know everyone is different but I need some guy opinions. My bf and I have been together a year. He tells me everyday he loves me and we have even talked about the future. He has recently started chatting online again with random chicks...he did this alot when we first got together but when things got really serious with us, he stopped turning the messengers all together. Before we met it wasnt uncommon for him to chat with and meet girls in person. Now that he is doing this again, should I be worried about our relationship or am I just being paranoid? Is he keeping his options open, or just killing time because he is bored? He usually does this when I am not around, when we are at home at the same time, we are usually doing something together, but its not something he tries to hide from me either.
2007-01-11 12:20:38 · 14 answers · asked by aprilfools1979 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Just for the record....he has not met anyone online and is not cheating on me. It has not come to that, but part of my paranoia is that after talking to someone he may feel they click and want to persue something more.
2007-01-11 13:04:58 · update #1
It really depends on the circumstances. He may just be chatting to pass the time or he may be looking to date other people. The best thing to do is talk to him, tell him you would like to know were your relationship is going. Ask him if he's being faithful and if there's anything that may threatening your relationship. Being open and honest is the backbone of a solid relationship. Good luck.
2007-01-11 12:30:19 · answer #1 · answered by cireengineering 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This isn't a good sign. By chatting with other girls and not hiding it from you, he's saying that he's not getting what he needs out of the relationship and he's ready to give up on it and he wants you to know that. It could be that he just wants sex (or more sex if you are already intimate), but then if it's so important to him that he'd leave you or cheat on you, then he's not a keeper anyway.
It could also be a way to see if you get jealous and to get you to start talking about what problems you're facing. Still, couldn't he just tell you "we need to talk"?
Either way, I think that this is disrespectful to you for him to start chatting up single girls. You need to ask him why does he do this? Does he feel like this relationship isn't working out, and if so then what specifically? Let him explain himself.
Make sure that you have this conversation when you're both relaxed and are not mad at each other. This conversation is not about accusing him or making him feel bad. It's an attempt to understand what he's going through and if this relationship has a future.
2007-01-11 20:33:28 · answer #2 · answered by yishor 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You arn't paranoid. You should be a little suspicious of what he's doing. If he loves you as much as he says, he wouldnt be doing those kinds of things while you guys are still going out, but dont end your relationship. If you love each other, you should first talk this out, make sure that he isnt doing anything that could hurt your relationship, and just tell him how you feel about him talking to other girls. Just talk it out, no need to end a relationship over something like this.
2007-01-11 20:34:30 · answer #3 · answered by Dillon L "Dr. Phil" 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would tell him that you are not comfortable with all this flirting because that isn't very respectful to do. It seems that he is not committing fully to the relationship. I would never do that with other girls if I was in a serious relationship with someone. If he doesn't stop trying to keep his options open, I would keep yours open and find someone that will treat you right.
2007-01-11 20:26:07 · answer #4 · answered by kws504 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a general rule I would be worried, I know that if I weren't interested then I would not take the time to chat with them on a regular basis. The fact that he does not try to hide it would tell me that he probably feels like it is within his rights and does not seem to care about your feelings on the subject. "JUST MY OPINION THOUGH"
2007-01-11 20:28:04 · answer #5 · answered by utahbugtussel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless he goes to meet the people he is chatting with, this is a mild form of flirting. If he does not hide it from you, I would guess that it is a VERY MILD form of flirting. When he hides it from you completely, it gets serious.
There is a program you can buy called Net Nanny that will block any site you do not want him to go to, including e mails. If you want to go that direction.
I used it for my son's computer to block MY SPACE. He became obsessed with the site, was up all night with it.
2007-01-11 20:26:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are just being paranoid.
If u notice pictures or i will meet u here or a message like i am not pregnate the dont be worried. us guyes like to other girls.
2007-01-11 20:26:40 · answer #7 · answered by David H 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hmm, well, i had this one friend (whos a girl) for several years online, and even if i was in a serious relationship id still talk to her
but hes talking to random chicks? i would talk to him about it and tell him how it makes you feel
2007-01-11 20:33:23 · answer #8 · answered by Mr_wall2005 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's something to do, while he's away and the PC is left on, NICELY chat with them, when he returns, he should react to this, if he's rude and harsh and defensive, worry, if he's calm or curious, he's fine.
2007-01-11 20:37:41 · answer #9 · answered by Cory W 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should be worryed and he just might meet some one thats in town close and meet her.Yeah he is just bored too.And yes he is keeping his opption open if your ith someone you have no bussiness searching on the net.
2007-01-11 20:26:24 · answer #10 · answered by tino 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋