Confronting girlfriend that still loves ex?

Question

My girlfriend left her phone at my house, in her text messages I found a text that she had written to her ex boyfriend saying she loved him so much and if they ever wanted to give it a chance, but that she was fine without. I knew she still talked to her ex before but not often. Should I confront and if so how

Answer 1

First of all, why were you reading her text messages? Okay, well putting that aside, you should definitely leave her. Say it clearly though. Don't try to cover it up. Say "I'm sorry, but I don't think you're ready to be in a relationship. I don't want to be with someone who is in love with someone else. You should wait until you get over your ex and then find someone new. Good luck to you. Good bye." Then don't talk to her again.

Answer 2

You confront her yesterday. Have self respect; it's obvious you care about her but lets get real. She wants you only if she cant' have her ex. That's magical.

You deserve better. We used to call it virginitis, where the girl really cant' get over her first love. In this case she's acting on it.

It will hurt but believe me, you'll regret it if you dont' blow her off. Your not seconds or leftovers, your supposed to be special to her. Telling another guy she loves him; man your looking awful wimpy by not dumping her.

Again, take her to a restaurant, (not expensive) and say that you saw the text message and that you dont' want to be involved with her and that you deserve to be special, not a hand me down.

Do it ASAP, have a good cry and move on. If you dont', she will at least have a booty call or be used by this guy on a night that he's alone, if not leave you totally.

Have self respect for yourself and you'll be the wiser and your character and heart will be stronger. Dont' let anyone take advantage of you and disrespect you so much. Good luck.

Answer 3

You are perfectly within your rights to catch her on her infidelity... of course she will question you as to why were you spying on her messages and that is something you will have to ask yourself as well (what would you think if you had left your phone at her home?) It doesn't sound like either of you have much respect for the other soooo - just call the whole thing off before it gets really really really messy.

Oh, and to keep things cool... don't "confront" her... just be honest and let her know you spied on her privacy... even apologize for doing so... and then let her know you want NO PART of her shannanigans with her "EX"... Good luck next go 'round.

Answer 4

Ok well u cant very well confront her with info that you found when snooping in her phone. I think u should jsut bring up her ex and mention that you know she still talks to him alot. And what does that mean for you two?? If you end up telling her that you looked thru her phone it makes u look like the bad guy. When in fact she is the one who should feel like a jerk bc she is texting her ex about how she loves him. I think talk to her about her ex, ask her if she still has feelings for him. I personally wouldnt want to stay with her bc I would feel like I was the stand-in until her ex comes back around. But that is your call.

Good luck man, thats a really s*h*i*t*t*y situation.

Answer 5

Confront her but don't be mean. sometimes it's really hard to let go of someone. the fact that she's still asking him if they want to work it out is a bit disconcerting though. I would ask her about it, but be tactful. say it in a way that she knows you're hurt, but sound understanding too. If she can talk it out with you peacefully, she may be able to release some of her feelings and put them in their place. If it has to end between you two, don't make her life hell. you both are hurting for different things, so make yours known, be mindful of hers and she will be mindful of yours.

Answer 6

The only way to confront her is by asking if she's had any recent conversations with her ex. Remember, you evesdropped on HER phone. If you catch her in the act you get to call her a WHORE! Other than that, you will have to live with knowing she flirtatious

Answer 7

you can confront her if it bothers you badly, which it's obvious it does, but she might get mad at you and accuse you of snooping through her things. i would talk to her when i called to give her phone back, tell her you just happened to look and noticed it. ask her what it means, then ask what is going on between you two if she feels this way about him. the outlook is not good here. you need to give her an ultimatum if this happens again. tell her its either you or him, but it cannot be both, unless you want your feelings hurt.

Answer 8

Don't start a conflict. It will only separate you even more.

If you reallu love her, then spend you time and effort to prove that you are a way better man than her ex one.

If you don't then why do you need a gf who still loves her ex?

Answer 9

i dont think you should confront her now. i mean. you need to know that it was wrong of you to read through her messages. that's private! anyhow, you should first ask her in a nonconfrontational way- just casually.. if she doesnt admit it.. find another way to prove that she is still in love with her ex.. dont bring up the txt msgs.. she would know that you read them and she would have a reason to be mad.

Answer 10

Breaking up with her is a good start. She's going to make you miserable. Really it's not a good situation, and just because you catch her it doesn't change her feelings. If she didn't feel that way she wouldn't have said it, and she probably did mean it because she thought you wouldn't find out.