I've been seeing a guy exclusively for 3 1/2 months, and I recently referred to him as my "boyfriend." He got quiet and mentioned that it's been a long time since anyone referred to him in that way. He says he doesn't like "labels." I don't get it. We're exclusive, we're not seeing anyone else, we even exchanged holiday gifts, and he's meeting my friends and I'm meeting his. To me, this is looking, smelling and sounding like a relationship. What gives? Is he still interested in me? Or does he just see me as a friend with benefits?
2007-01-11 11:19:40 · 22 answers · asked by x_filequeen 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He doesnt want to be tied down to one girl maybe he is just useing you until something better comes along I know it sounds kinda mean i dont want to hurt your feels you sound like a nice girl but Men are ******* good luck hun i hope i am wrong
2007-01-11 11:25:47 · answer #1 · answered by Heather 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some guys are really skittish about the labels.... but if it has already been made clear that you guys are exclusive I think his non-label issue is related to having his cake and eating it too. You may be in the "friend with benefits" spot... and if so, get the hell out of there. It never ends up as planned and most the time it is the girl that gets attached and then hurt rather than the guy.
2007-01-11 11:24:24 · answer #2 · answered by Heart of Gold 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One word..."Commitmentphobia"
He sounds like he doesn't like the whole commitment thing. Could be for a few reasons like he was hurt real bad in a previous relationship or he's just a player that wants his cake and eat it too. I would just ask him what he thinks the relationship is. If it's exclusive=boyfriend Not exclusive=friends with benefits and it doesn't matter if you meet the friends or not. If you meet the parents, that's a little different. Hope things work out.
2007-01-11 11:30:19 · answer #3 · answered by zumi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you already know the answer but I believe if he is interested like you are then he would be rushing to take you off the market. Claiming you as a girlfriend would fill him with pride nothave him hiding behind the label crap. Play it cool and keep window shopping.
2007-01-11 11:30:00 · answer #4 · answered by noddy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like he's a little scared of committing and actually being publically considered your boyfriend. I don't get what he means by labels, but denying to be considered someones boyfriend is normally a sign that you do not want to get into so much commitment.
2007-01-11 11:24:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's scared because as a boyfriend, he's expected to do things...constantly be around you, always do stuff for you, get you presents...and he doesn't want to be expected to do those things or it will start to be something he doesn't want to do. he's afraid of being a "boyfriend" because boyfriends are cut-and-dried and he wants to feel like he can do whatever he wants. which is great, as long as what he wants still involves you, which it sounds like it does. don't pressure him about it but don't worry about it either. plenty of time for that later.
plus, from what he said, it sounds a lot like whoever called him that "a long time ago" might have hurt him and he doesn't trust getting into something like that again. be gentle.
2007-01-11 11:25:37 · answer #6 · answered by fireflower413 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I have have been going through this for 18 months. And he is not my boyfriend He has be come my best friend. I don't like label's nether. Ask him how he feels. and if you are introducing him to friends "Just say this is my friend" . I wish you luck.
2007-01-11 11:31:51 · answer #7 · answered by lookasmiles4u 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Friend with benefits? You aren't sleeping with him after only 3 1/2 months, are you? If you are, sure that probably what he thinking...friend with benefits. Otherwise, you need to ask him what his hang up is.
2007-01-11 11:24:53 · answer #8 · answered by Wendy B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He isnt commmited, or hes afraid of commitment.
I'm guessing something bad happened to him in one of his past relationships, so much that he might not want to jynx anything in the future.
You need to talk to him about this and find out whats going on because you deserve to know if this is real, or just playing around.
2007-01-11 11:23:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's scared of a commitment by being labelled as your boyfriend. He doesnt want a relationship that ties him down.
2007-01-11 11:22:57 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋