You're my World
Rose are red, violets are blue
You’re my world, my friend, my you
People they stare but its just us
Just remember it isn’t no rush
I just can’t think of a life without you
You’re my world, my friend, my you
You’re an angel in the eyes of one
And your o so brighter than the
morning sun
Life isn’t great unless I’m near you
If you know of those angels then they
know of you
And the world, the world needs more of you
I’ll always, always be there for you
No matter if you’re blue or think you is Sue
You are my world, my friend, and my you
I said sue on purpose, i wrote this for this girl i really like we aren't together but we call each other nicknames. I call her sue, she calls me bob. How is it?
P.S.
I am in the 7th grade.
2007-01-11 10:59:08 · 11 answers · asked by Light in the Dark 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
thats a good poem im gonna tell my gf it cuz shes good at poems shell know it wasnt me tho ill tell her it was bob lol
2007-01-11 11:04:27 · answer #1 · answered by Antonio 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it's no Shakespear, but for your age and for it's intended purpose (to impress a girl), this is more than adequate.
I'd change "your o" to "you're" in line 8 and ad "s" at the end of Rose in the first line. Also, you normally wouldn't rhyme "you" with "you" as in the lines 5 and 6, 9 and 10, and 11 and 12, so you might want to change those up.
Here's my slightly revised version. Feel free to use as much of it as you want and good luck with your girl.
Some flowers are red, others are blue,
None of them matter unless I'm with you.
People may stare when they're looking at us,
But I know it's real, it's not just a crush.
There's no life without you, and my feelings are true,
For you're my world, my best friend, plus you're you.
You're an angel of beauty come down,
And your smile, it shines so much brighter than sun.
My life looses meaning in a world without you,
But when I am with you I feel so renewed.
My love for you's deep, it fills up my whole heart.
I'm here for you and hope we're never apart.
So when you feel blue, know that you're still my Sue,
For you are my world, my best friend, plus you're you.
2007-01-11 19:24:21 · answer #2 · answered by yishor 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
take out some of the you 's bc it has to many.
you cant say you at the end of most every sentecnes.
try : Life is better when you'r with me
I have a lock and i am giving you a key
instead of: Life ins't great unless I'm near you
If you know of those angels then they know you
i like better
2007-01-11 19:12:34 · answer #3 · answered by smithers 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're different for a teenager- the most affection boys showed at my school was writing ??? fancies ? on the back of a toilet door
Not that I recommend that.
It's taken time,thought and it's been made personal to her so it's flattering.You'reonto a winner.
2007-01-11 19:08:08 · answer #4 · answered by bjka 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's really cute. I like it, when I was in seventh grade (last year) no guys would have written that.
2007-01-11 19:04:29 · answer #5 · answered by Emma 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
for a seventh grade kid u got talent for poems. great job!
2007-01-11 19:23:07 · answer #6 · answered by Sonic 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Great!
2007-01-11 19:03:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow I loved it that's totally awesome ! great job! and you are a great friend too.
2007-01-11 19:04:54 · answer #8 · answered by sissy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats so sweet
2007-01-11 19:05:07 · answer #9 · answered by Bootsy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow! lol i like it, its sweet and not overdone... great job! I like the repetition:)
2007-01-11 19:07:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋