I lost my mum to cancer 7months ago. As she was suffering a lot I prayed everyday for the end to come.?

Question

In a way I was relieved when this happened but now 7 months on I am feeling very depressed. As I am writing now I am crying wishing my mum was here with me. Also I have had a total hysterectomy 7 weeks ago, I am 38 years old and yesterday I went to the doctors to have the checkup after the op and was looking forward to start work again but he told me I was not fit to go back to work yet. He has given me a sick note for another 5 weeks and this has made me even more depressed. Everyone tells me that I deserve to rest as I went through a lot when my mum was ill but I prefer going to work. Has anybody that has had a hysterectomy before been depressed?

Just wanted to know if its normal to get depressed after a hysterectomy or its because I am grieving?

I have four children although one is in Uni I still have three more at home, many people say I have a handful to keep me occupied but I can't help being depressed.

Answer 1

Mum youre the best person in the world. Please dont get depressed im sure my grandmother is very proud for having such a wonderful daughter and she is not suffering anymore. I now its hard that your not working at the moment but as soon as i get back from Uni on January 25th were gonna do something with your lifestyle and spice it up a bit were gonna have FUN!!! Miss you loads xxx

Answer 2

Obviously you're still going to be grieving if you lost your Mum only seven months ago under those circumstances. You're feeling misplaced guilt because you were wishing for the end because of her suffering. On top of that a hysterectomy can bring on the onset of early menopause which can cause symptoms of depression also. If you can't go back to work yet maybe you could stay with some family or friends for a while whilst you rest as this would provide a temporary support network until you can get back to busying your mind with work,and maybe you could ask your doctor about counselling.

Answer 3

Oh you poor darling... I'm sorry about your mum. It's prefectly normal to feel depressed for both losing your mum and after having a hysterectomy. And even though it feels awful it's a necessary part of grief. Would you consider seeing a therapist. There a loads of grief counsellors about and it will really help to talk.. its good to help process the stages of grief. And having a hysterectomy also causes you to grieve. Its another loss.. and also a massive surgery so you've got an emotoinal and physical healing to do. My mum had a hysterectomy and was very depressed afterwords. I also suffer from depression and know its really tough.. but I've found going to a herbalist and therapist really helpful.Also reiki is a lovely treatment and you really need to be good to yourself now and take it easy. I understand wanting to go to work cos sometimes its nice to have a focus to take your mind off things.. so long as its not strenous. Take care of yourself and I hope you feel better soon. x

Answer 4

I haven't had a hysterectomy before, but I have found when I get depressed myself that if I can't go to work (being ill or... whatever, my long time ex-bf dumped me on the first day of my new job... that was a real nice start to a new career), I try to find SOMETHING to do to take my mind off of things. Being that you need to rest, perhaps you can start up some new hobbies at home or ones that don't require much moving around. Stay strong though, and good luck to you in the future.

Answer 5

I am so sorry for your loss, you have been through so much, sorry to hear that. The hysterectomy on top too, its not surprising you are feeling this way. Have you spoken with your doctor about your feelings? HAving a hysterectomy surely means a huge change in your hormone balance (which governs our moods in a big way) - perhaps he could supply you with a short term remedy. I can't say I have been through what you have so can't advise properly, sorry. I can only suggest that you try break you routine a little until you return to work - get out in the fresh air for daily brisk walks after lunch - take up a dance class in the evening. Cook a meal you've never tried before. You may not feel like it but things like this have been proven to lift our moods a little. I hope you feel better soon - be sure to speak to people about your feelings, it will help.

Answer 6

When they wheeled me into the OR for my hysterectomy, I cried. Mind you, I had three children and had my tubes tied when my son was born 13 years earlier and definitely was not planning to have another child, but I still cried. I think it's a sense of loss and the idea that you can't have anymore children, whether you want to or not. Add those emotions to the devastation of loosing your mother in such a long suffering way, it's no wonder that you're really depressed. It'd be a good idea to talk to your doctor about antidepressants for a while until you can get through the emotions of dealing with serious loss. I don't think anyone wants to take medication, but sometimes we have to do what's best for our mental health. Good luck.

Answer 7

My mother in law died in November and we too were relieved when she was out of her suffering. We miss her, though, and we do grieve. Her illness was quick - less than two months - and so we didn't have to watch her for months and months, unlike many other people.
I'm sure this is the main reason why you're depressed. Did you discuss this with your doctor? They might have been able to help you.
I haven't had a hysterectomy, but losing someone is very sad, especially when you've had to postpone the grief, as you have.
Good luck.

Answer 8

Oh my goodness. Here is a huge HUG for you.

A lot has happened to you recently, and it is very understandable that you're depressed. I haven't had a hysterectomy, but it's very clear to me that you need some understanding.

Please know that your mom is much more comfortable now, she isn't in pain any longer.

As for your depression, have you talked to your doctor about it? Or have you any good friends that you can confide in? Can you maybe work from home to keep your mind off things? I'd start there.

Otherwise, hang in there- things will get better. :) Best wishes to you.

Answer 9

I am sorry for your loss. I lost my mom to cancer in 02. I still wish she was here. I haven't had a hysterectomy, but i wonder if you depression is just because you are bored. I mean, it sounds like you were so busy with your mom being sick and working that you didn't give yourself proper time to morn her death. Now that you have slowed down for a second, the pain of missing her has set in. Plus, your body is going threw all sorts of hormonal changes. You may want to talk to your doc about supplements that can help with the depression. good luck

best wishes.

Answer 10

I can bare witness with the depression thing. I lost my boyfriend and some friends, got kicked out of school, my favorite cousin and aunt died in the same month, and also i thought i was pregnant. I felt liek my life was over and in shambles. Even thinking about it all i get a little teary eyed. But what i had to realize is that trial only come to chistle, and pull, and break and prime us so that we can be re-upholstered and made over. Depression is as temporary as you make it. It is something that you refuse to accept. Even with all that is going on in your life, the fact that you are alive now is encouraging to the people around you and the ones that read the question.