Ok,my wife to protect me lied about sleeping with a guy she only knew for the weekend. I knew about a couple other times and that hurt but I know I was not with her. I feel like it just happened! How should I deal with this? I never thought she was capable of doing something like this since she is such a great christian but she went of the deep end.
2007-01-11 09:57:01 · 15 answers · asked by thunder92 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
You feel hurt not because of what she has done but because your expectations of her have been violated. Dissappointment is always related to the one who has the expectations not the one who has dissapointed. Doesn't mean she has no consequences to her actions but it means that you are in control of how you feel.
I remember the first time my 22 year old daughter did something at about the age of 4 that so dissappointed me. I looked at her for the first time through clear eyes and realized that she wasn't the perfect little child who could do no wrong. I realized that she was imperfect JUST LIKE ME! That was a shock!
So I think you should look at your wife with clear realistic eyes of love and see that she is imperfect JUST LIKE YOU. If her lie was an attempt to hide a lifestyle of a lack of commitment to you then that must be dealt with. But if her lie was an attempt to hide something from you that she was ashamed of, that she did not want to hurt you, then you need to look at the example of Jesus when the woman who had been caught in adultery was brought before Him. The Jews said the Law teaches that such a woman must be stoned. What do you say? Jesus bent down and drew in the sand. Then He stood and said, "He who is without sin cast the first stone."
Remember, only God will never dissappoint. Humans dissappoint. Sounds like you've got a human wife. Now how Christlike are you going to be? You need to sit down with her. Tell her how dissappointed you are. Tell her you love her. And let her talk to you.
2007-01-11 10:14:37 · answer #1 · answered by yagman 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forgiveness is where it's at...
You know, this happened before you were in the picture. Yes, she lied and that was wrong. She however, didn't have an affair. It was before you.
You two need to sit down and talk. Get everything out in the open and just be honest.
Best wishes!
2007-01-11 18:03:37 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How should you deal with it?
Forgive her.
Love her.
It took alot of courage for her to come forward, especially after those other times. She must be torn up inside, worrying what you will say.
That was then. This is now. Who is she in Christ now? Who is she to you, now?
Don't judge her. Just love her. Forgive her.
And pray together, asking God to wrap His arms around both of you and protect your marriage.
2007-01-11 18:03:58 · answer #3 · answered by Dianne C 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If it is in the past, before you were married, don't fret over it just forgive her. You are not perfect, so don't hold her to higher standards than you can keep yourself.
As long as she is faithful to you now is all that really matters.
2007-01-11 18:06:11 · answer #4 · answered by Sirius 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You didn't mention if she did this before or after you were married ???
In any case, sounds like it's time for you to put on your Forgiveness Hat and see how good you really are.
Good luck
2007-01-11 18:02:57 · answer #5 · answered by Alan 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The operative word is "past" . . . she is with you now. We all have things in our past that we regret. I'm sure she regrets this as well. I believe "someone" said, "Whosoever amongst you is without sin cast the first stone."
Indeed, it is a "great Christian" who forgives. What kind of Christian are you?
2007-01-11 18:03:34 · answer #6 · answered by PhD 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Christians aren't perfect. We all sin and come short of the Glory of God. Just remember that you must forgive her just as Christ forgives us.
2007-01-11 18:02:34 · answer #7 · answered by Abby Road 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Get over it. I think you are just jealous because you didn't get any.
I don't think she should be with a sexually repressed fool like yourself who will be THAT bothered knowing someone else banged her....
deal. That's what 99% of the rest of men have to deal with.
2007-01-11 18:03:43 · answer #8 · answered by janesweetjane 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Forgiveness comes to mind.
2007-01-11 18:02:16 · answer #9 · answered by Jerry 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The best way to deal with it is to talk to her about it. Don't be whiny, needy or clingy, just talk to her about it, and then learn to forgive and forget.
2007-01-11 18:02:32 · answer #10 · answered by * 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋