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See, there's a guy. We've gotten close over the past year. When it started getting serious, he opened up to me - he has some personal stuff he really needs to work on & can't be in a relationship. The thing is, I get it. I'm sorta working on me, too. We still talk regularly. I'm his first call when he's happy or upset - like when he called about an hour before midnight on his birthday because he wanted to share that moment w/ me & when he called because his nephew was diagnosed with cancer (they're close). We've had "the discussion" several times. He wants to be friends & said I'm one of his favorite people. The problem-I still have feelings for him. I told him exactly how I feel about him. He keeps breaking my heart, even though he says he doesn't mean to do it. He just doesn't feel the same. I was ready to move on when he called crying recently. He'd just found out a relative died. Part of me wants to say "Why are you calling me? Leave me alone," but I listened. I still care...

2007-01-11 09:53:57 · 10 answers · asked by freckleface 1 in Family & Relationships Singles & Dating

10 answers

You need to tell him you can't handle this any more. I know from experience two people cannot be "just friends" when one has feelings for the other. It just doesn't work, someone keeps getting hurt. Obviously he still must care about you somehow or he wouldn't keep coming back. But at the same time right now he's being kind of selfish. You need to tell him that either there is something or there is not, and if he's not ready for something serious you are moving on, and you can't bne as close as you are right now. That may wake him up, and he may realize how much you really mean to him. But stick with your resolve...don't try to keep a friendship going if he's not ready to commit. Don't be enemies by any means, but you can't keep telling each other the closest things in your life, and being best friends. He needs to make up his mind, and if they answer is no, than you need to move on...hard as that may be.

2007-01-11 10:02:48 · answer #1 · answered by LaSperanza 2 · 0 0

I understand what are you going thru. I’m went thru the same situation. It’s hard to move on when the other person still calls you. What you need to do its try to grow apart from him, emotionally I mean, if you can do that and still talk to him it would be great, but I know the reality is that you need to stop talking to him at least for a while until you get over him and then you can be a "friend" to him. Right now you are expecting something more from him and you are only thinking about his feelings and how sad he is, and how much he needs you, ext. But you what do you need?

2007-01-11 10:04:27 · answer #2 · answered by kathernva 4 · 0 0

you need to express to him your feeling runs deeper than his are for you, which makes it difficult to remain just his friend, and you feel he is taken your feelings for granted, but not caring enough about your feelings, to want to move forward, so maybe it would be best if you put some space between each other, so he can have time to decide what he wants, and you can decide what you need to do, which would be best for everyone involved, he may need to reach out to a therapist to help him to resolve some of his issues, maybe this would help him to see you in a different light, he is using you for his therapist.

2007-01-11 10:01:54 · answer #3 · answered by ladymaryum 2 · 0 0

No one can break your heart if you don't let them. He's clearly told you he just wants to be friends. If you can't manage to do that without hurting yourself, then maybe it's time to say good bye and move on to someone who is available for dating. Lots of luck.

2007-01-11 09:59:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

would you rather be friends where you can still talk to him..(i mean knowing what hes going through...) or drop him..and have no connections..which could possibly make his situation..and yours a lot worse?!

2007-01-11 09:57:23 · answer #5 · answered by RiRi 2 · 0 0

He's just not that into you...so you have to decide if you can just be friends with him. Obviously that is all he wants with you.

2007-01-11 09:58:03 · answer #6 · answered by all_304 2 · 0 0

its hard but u have to be a friend for him. try finding anouther guy if he cares he'll gte jelus.

2007-01-11 09:58:26 · answer #7 · answered by punk girl 4 · 0 0

You need to tell him that you cannot handle being his friend.

2007-01-11 09:57:38 · answer #8 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 0 0

you should stop letting him use you. all he sees in you is just a shoulder to cry on, as far as i can tell. .

2007-01-11 09:59:19 · answer #9 · answered by hilarie 1710 2 · 0 0

so be his friend....if something more develops some day then great..if not, you've got a good friend....

2007-01-11 09:58:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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