visitation rights?

Question

ok heres the deal my husband has a child from another relationship.we have been married 8 years and at the begining of the marriage i pushed him to play an active roll in this childs life well he didnt listen. we moved 650 miles away 5 years ago and out of sight out of mind. he doesnt write, email, text, or call this child. once a year usually around this time the mother contacts him and says some thing to the effect that she was going to come here and then they could have a meeting well out of the 5 times shes promised this never once has she done it and each year he gets all hurt. again this year she has contacted him, i told him not to get all excited because it hever has happened in the past it probably wont happen this year either. I have thought about emailing the mother and telling her not to get my husbands hopes up but have yet to do it what do you think?

Answer 1

I would not involve myself in that drama. You are just asking for her to take cheap shots at you. It couldnt bother him that much or he would try to have contact too. Guys are different about stuff like this. They lack that motherly instinct. Do you really want to deal with baby momma drama anyway?

Answer 2

Maybe your husband should be the one flying off to see his child after all the two of you were the ones who moved away. This is his child play a part in this childs life before its too late. This isn't a game. If the mother is playing games don't fall for them and he needs to say ok then I am going to come visit be prepared.

Answer 3

I just want you to know that I am an out-of-sight out of mind child. I am now 25....my father left while my mother was still pregnant with me. well, i stayed out of sight out of mind until i was 13 years old. my mom had promised when i was old enough to handle whatever may happen, she'd take me to meet my father. well she held good on her promise. when i was 13 she drove me from Maryland to Georgia to meet my father. well when i was there, he wanted me. he tried to bribe me with cars and all kinds of things to make me move there. it wasn't even a thought. no way would i give up everything i've ever know to be with a man who proved every birthday, holiday and every other occasion (when i sent letters, etc.) that i really didn't matter. well i have no contact with him now. i do contact my siblings, who had no idea until i showed up that i even exsisted. they are all older than me. well, as for you I support your wanting father and child to have a relationship. from everything you've said here it doesn't seem that that is gonna happen. i wouldn't force the issue. it's hypacritical of him to be upset and hurt. if it meant that much, your husband would try harder. you may want to show your husband my post because, i am what happen with such relationships. i resent my father and truly hate him! i was raised not to hate but i can make one exception!