I let my daughter, her boyfriend and their 2 children come and live in my home. This was working out find as long as they were getting things their way. But as soon as I asked for the rent we had agreed to she went off, cursing me out etc. I have given them a 3 day notice to pay rent or quit but now have come to the place of either taking legal action on them (which would make it hard for them to get a place in the future) or just waiting them out. My home is now a miserable place to be. I just want my peace and quite back. By the way, she refuses to just move out, says I have no legal right to make them move and according to Cal law she is right. Help.
2007-01-11 09:36:40 · 22 answers · asked by klmsmom 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Not sure about CA law, but in Virginia if the child is at least 18, you can throw them out. If they will not leave, call the police and ask for their help.
In 1980's I married a woman who had 2 teenagers. The youngest (the son) we had some problems with - but not as much as you are going thru. At 18, he just disappearred at Christmas when he went out to a party. Liked it so much, he moved out with his friends but forgot to tell us (I was the old mean step-daddy). When his friends decided it was time for him to get a job and pay rent, he wanted to come home. His Mom agreed but I didn't want to. Agreement was reached that he would pay rent if he stayed AND move out at age 21. Off-and-on paying of rent. But at 21, my wife agreed to back me - and he had to move out. Now 34, he says I was right and that moving out and being responsible for things - made him grow up. We now have a good relationship.
I think, many adults still throw temper tantrums. They will yell and scream to get their way. If you tell them "no", they feel that all they have to do to get their way is to yell & scream LOUDER. It cannot be a "no" from you, it has to be a "NO!". And you have to mean it, no backing down. And no negotiated compromises. Right now, she probably feel all she has to do is yell loud enough and YOU WILL BACK DOWN.
Good luck. This is a rough time - its a growing pain for the daughter.
PS, You might consider calling the police station and asking them. Does this qualify as "elder abuse" by children? You could always change the locks on your house while they are out. And arrange for them to pick up their stuff at some other location (police station ? church?)
2007-01-11 09:53:29 · answer #1 · answered by John Hightower 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HA!!! That is the age old question!!! They can't wait to grow up and leave and when they do go, they procreate and bring more back with them. I have an open door policy with my children...if you need to come home to get on your feet, fine, but you have a time limit to pay room and board or out you go. Anyone can be down on their luck and I would not want to see my children in the street, but they have to carry their own. Go to the landlord tennant court in your area or call legal aid and ask them what you can do about your situation. Then tell the mouchers the kids can stay, and you will drive them to the nearest shelter and welfare office if they don't have a job. The next time an argument breaks out, call the police and have them removed because you feel threatened...see how fast they get out.
2007-01-11 17:49:48 · answer #2 · answered by PB&J P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sort of contradict yourself by saying you served them a (legal) notice to quit or pay and then say that by California law you have no way to get them out.
Ok, so if you're a landlord (not a mom) and you've got people you want out, you serve them with a notice (not 3 day, I think, but check with a NOLO landlord guide to be sure) then have them locked out. Their stuff is yours if they don't leave before you lock them out.
However, this is your family, your daughter and grand children, and I doubt you really want to do this.
I assume you've tried talking to her quietly and rationally. If they really are so rude and completely ignore your feelings in your home, you can do lots of little things to make life hard for them and make them want to leave by driving them batty (like hiding one shoe, letting air out of their tires, eating (or giving away) their food, etc.) but be careful - if they find out you're doing this, they can fight back the same way.
Best of luck!
2007-01-11 18:38:46 · answer #3 · answered by Wonderland 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't wait them out! They'll never leave. You took care of her for 18 years, it is now her turn to be the adult she isn't.
If their names are not on the lease or on the deed to the house, you have a say who lives or doesn't live in your house. You could call the sheriff and have them removed or while they are out (or send them on a nice family weekend), put their stuff on the porch and change the locks.
If worse comes to worse, contact a lawyer for a consultation.
2007-01-11 17:53:26 · answer #4 · answered by J T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Horse puckey. She has no legal right to live in your home. Sit her stuff on the sidewalk and change the locks. If she has a LEASE you need to contact housing court to file eviction papers for non-payment of rent.
2007-01-11 17:43:15 · answer #5 · answered by amazingly intelligent 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's an idiot. She's trespassing now. Call the sheriff and have him escort the little gang off the premises, and change your locks immediately. Or, pack up their stuff, leave it on the doorstep and have the locks changed. She is bluffing- she has no legal rights; she's a guest in your home.
2007-01-11 17:41:03 · answer #6 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Once your children has reached the age of 18, they are considered adults. Your parental responsibility has ended. Yes, it is YOUR home, and you have every right to decide who stays there. You can indeed pursue legal action if need be.
2007-01-11 17:42:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you have some friends enlist their help. One day when your daughter and her boyfriend go somewhere (have this planned in advance), have your friends come over and move all their stuff outside. Then change the locks. Whatever you do, do not let them back in the house.
2007-01-11 17:41:15 · answer #8 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Call the police. They do not have a lease agreement with you, and therefore are guests in your home. A homeowners has the right to ask someone to leave, and if they don't, they are trespassing. The police will escort them out.
2007-01-11 17:41:39 · answer #9 · answered by nottashygirl 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if cal. law says they can stay..your best bet is to get a lawyer
one DRASTIC measure maybe to divest yourself of said property
and get a new place, then NEVER invite them in as they can
construe that as an invite to stay.
one wonders though what might happen bteween you and your gradnkids...
2007-01-11 17:42:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋