I ran into my step sister down the street and she advised her mum had passed away and my dad was all alone now? i have not seen him for over 10 years he was an alcoholic and was on drugs, but now i have heard he has SLOWED the drinking down and is lonely and has noone anymore, he has never met his grand kids or seen them.
i feel guilty i was going to visit him on sunday but i have a big fear of rejection AGAIN and as if he doesnt care, also i wanted someone elses opionion to see if they would take there kids but not introduce him as my dad or should I ????? im very confused on this, very nervous about going and quite scared Would you go? i have a step dad that has been with me since i was 2 and the kids call him Pa can anyone suggest what to do? or what they would do in this situation?
2007-01-11 09:05:13 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I would speak to him on the phone, then depending on how that went maybe meet him. Don't take the kids until you know you can trust him.
2007-01-11 09:11:00 · answer #1 · answered by Bev 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should go see him. At least come to terms with things so if God forbids something happens to him you can have some peace with it. Also, take a camera and get a picture with the kids and him. You don't want them one day to regret you for not letting them see their real grandfather. None of our parents are perfect. They are getting older and we can not change them. All we can do is love them and hope for the best. You will probably never have a normal relationship with your dad, but you can have a relationship with him, you know what I mean? I am not sure how old your kids are but they need to know the truth. Don't call him Pa like they call your stepdad- think of another name= Papa, Grampa, etc.
Good luck. I hope things turn out okay.
2007-01-11 09:11:26 · answer #2 · answered by Rockinrobin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not take my children until you decide that things will work in a positive note. Children don't need all this bitterness that the world has to offer. I grew up without my real father, and when he passed 3 years ago my sister called and I just said who cares. To this day, I still feel that way. That is a very difficult decision to make, and I think only you are the one to make it. You may regret not doing, you may regret doing it. I think the only advice I can give is do what you really feel is right, do what your gut tells you to do. It will be right, maybe painful, but it will be right. No matter what, don't involve your children until you know it will be positive.
I feel what you feel, good luck to you, I really hope it all works out well for you.
2007-01-11 09:15:37 · answer #3 · answered by tamlovinlife2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
enable's see.. both childrens go jointly, one comes again with the boat, dad is going for the time of, again a baby comes again, off they go again both childrens, ones comes again and mum crosses this time, the youngster that replaced into left on the different facet, brings the boat again and this time both childrens go for the time of. proper?
2016-11-23 12:35:59 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to see him without the kids at least the first time you go. You need to make sure it's an environment you want your kids to be in. You also don't want them to see you get upset if things don't go well. If things go well take them the next time. Good luck. Don't be scared. He's probably as scared as you are.
2007-01-11 09:36:39 · answer #5 · answered by mjm52 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would go and see him by myself first and IF he has changed, then I would sit down and explain to the kids first the relationship and then set up a definite time to meet with him. Explain to him if he blows it once that's it. Kids do not need alcholics but they DO need to know their grandfather. Family is family after all.
2007-01-11 09:11:05 · answer #6 · answered by snddupree 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋