So, your boyfriend goes into the Air Force. He writes you letters everyday about how much he misses you and he now knows you are the only one for him. You're naive so you and his mother (whom you are very close to) take this as a proposal. By the time he gets home, you've bought your wedding dress and picked out a setting for your engagement ring. A few months go by and you have set the date and place for the wedding, have the bridesmaids and groomsmen picked out, and the invitations may as well have already been delivered. You just don't have that setting you picked because he's broke. Another month or two goes by and he got the ring, it just isn't on that specific finger. One night, you're sitting with him watching TV and talking to his brother on the phone and he slips the ring on that finger. Doesn't say anything. Just puts it on. Doesn't even grin. What would your reaction be? (Personally, I wouldn't be too happy).
2007-01-11 08:47:36 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Sorry, didn't specify. This didn't happen to me! This happened to my best friend and I'm trying to get her to see the ridiculous sideof this story.
2007-01-11 08:56:04 · update #1
After reading some of the answers, I don't think some people saw this the first time. This did not happen to me. It happened to my best friend. When I asked if that was seriously how he "proposed" she, all sparkly-eyed, said "yeah! Ain't it great?!" I just shook my head and now I want to get other people's idea on this. Once again, this did not happen to me!
2007-01-11 09:21:14 · update #2
One more little detail. My friend and his mother are the ones that started planning stuff, not him. He didn't know anything about it till he got home. Oh, and they got engaged a few months ago (around October) and the wedding's already been called off once... And once again, the whole point in this question is to show her that this was not a proposal.
P.S. I don't know how it is in other parts of the country, but around here, if you don't have a ring, you're not engaged!
2007-01-12 01:32:33 · update #3
To me it seems like he was pressured into giving her the ring. All guys when they go to boot camp miss home and get sappy about who they left at home. She really should have waited to do stuff until he proposed correctly then plan stuff, it was a little rude of her to plan stuff before he officially asked her to marry him. Sorry it's just my opinion. I think that your friend needs to slow down and apologize to her guy for rushing him and pressuring him. Again this is my personal opinion.
2007-01-11 11:11:15 · answer #1 · answered by Kitikat 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Honestly - want makes a proposal special is up to the people involved. It might seem dumb to you, but if SHE is happy, that is her choice.
Obviously she is not as niave as you think - since she is actually getting married so when he said she was the only one, that is what he meant.
Anyway, realistically, it the date was already set, dress bought, etc - techincally they were already engaged. An engagement becomes official as soon as two people agree to get married - ring or no ring - so in reality, lal he did was give her a ring to cement an engagement that had be "proposed" a while ago already.
A better question is - why do you care? If she is happy with the way it went, what does it matter what you or any of us think or if you would have liked it?
2007-01-11 20:49:31 · answer #2 · answered by Chrys 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't get the story. If they had the wedding all planned, then what you're describing wasn't really a "proposal", it was simply him catching up with the ring part. Proposal comes BEFORE the wedding plans are even made. Doesn't sound like there *was* a proposal in this case, they just decided to get married and went through with the planning; I don't see anything wrong with it (my husband and I did the same thing, you just kinda decide to do it, and then go ahead with it).
2007-01-11 17:32:48 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds like there was no real proposal, it was either a mutual agreement or he got home and was filled in on everything and he is just along for the ride. I wouldnt have taken the letters as a proposal but what's done is done. Maybe he had to get used to the idea first and when it was all settled in his head, he moved the ring on her finger. Not a bad way to go about it.....
Feel lucky....the proposal i received from my first husband involved him throwing a ring box at me as I walked in the door from work. How romantic.
2007-01-11 18:48:13 · answer #4 · answered by pagudus6669 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I Wouldn't Be Too Happy Either...... I'd Atleast what a grin or sparkle in his eye or a "Will You?"...Some Specif...
How Does Your Friend Even Know It Was a Proposal??
What If It was Just A ring....considering he was broke i dont think he can afford a wedding so instead gave her a "i'm sorry ring!"...
If Your friend is happy....you should be happy.... who cares how he proposes its the fact that he did it....you know what i mean????
Shes happy and she loves this guy and he loves her......keep your distance and just congratz her!
Its a wonderful thing to know your getting married!
2007-01-11 17:28:42 · answer #5 · answered by tickingclocks 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay never assume anything, bad idea. This all should have been talked about before tons of money and time was spent on this wedding. I would have been a little angry by the actual proposal but then again I am a huge romantic.
2007-01-11 17:12:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
this was a little weird. I mean she should be happy that he really did propose/give her a ring. Otherwise she would have done all that in vain. I would rather wait until he got back and then see what happens. I think he'd feel rushed by that. But that proposal really did suck and I'd be disappointed. I would have pretended I didn't even notice the ring because that was a bad proposal, almost like it didn't really matter to him.
2007-01-11 17:07:06 · answer #7 · answered by angelicasongs 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't really have a concern as to whether or not it happened to you, my concern is that it happened at all. What a cowardly way to propose? If that's what is was. That was in no way an official proposal.. She's lucky she got the ring considering she went all out along with his mother before he said that magic words he still hasn't said yet.
2007-01-11 21:29:53 · answer #8 · answered by Special K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't take the letters as a proposal, first of all...that is definitely putting the carriage before the horse. They didn't even talk about anything and she went out and made all sorts of decisions without him being around. If I was him, and I'm glad I'm not, I would have been very angry. I wouldn't be excited about that proposal, but I would definitely feel pushed into it because of her reactions...
2007-01-11 17:37:12 · answer #9 · answered by VAWeddingSpecialist 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Some men don't know the dos and don'ts of proposing, because nobody teaches them. I think the big question here is do you love him? The answer should be yes, and does he love you, his answer should be yes, if you have two yess then I wouldn't worry about the rest, just go for it and have fun. You can teach him the finer points later. Good Luck
2007-01-11 17:01:04 · answer #10 · answered by Bruce 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋