Is cheating a big deal?

Question

I was with my ex for a few years. We got a place together for a few months and then one weekend I went on vacation with my family and came home early to find him in out bed with another girl.it has been over a year since,but I think I am still hurt from it.Of course i left him right away,but he lie to me about it for months after and still lies.I stil see him because he is best friends with my brother(thats how we met)I wonder if i will ever be healed from it.I also wish this guy that is friends with them both that comforted me one night after the cheating would not be scared of my ex and brother and date me,but maybe its an excuse.Is catching your partner in bed with another a bog deal? I am learning to let it go,will it ever be completely gone?

Answer 1

It is a devastating thing to see. Finding out your mate is cheating is one thing but seeing them in the act of sex with another is real bad.

I know it's cliche', but you have to understand this is not about you. You did not do anything to make this happen, it's not because you are lacking in some area.
He is a cheat, and would have cheated on anybody that was his girlfriend.

The only thing you can do is work on your choice in men.
Try to figure out if you are choosing the wrong kind so you will not have to go through this again.

However, no matter how hard you try to pick the right partner, sometimes you can never tell who they really are until they are in your life.

Chalk this up to a life lesson and try to move on and not associate yourself with this man anymore.
Even as 'friends.' Your brother should ditch him for treating you like crap.

Answer 2

You will not forget, you will learn, if you are the type to forgive and carry on okay. If your still in Love with each other then go back. Nobody really cares, it's all about you and him, takes alot more sacrificing to keep going and make it work than to just say oh well you messed up, good bye. What to start all over with someone else? Do you realize the rariety in a long term relation ship ( 20-50 years) investment and nobody cheated on one an other? They just don't talk about it because it rehashes bad feelings that over time have smoothed out and love has replaced.
C'mon it's the hardest thing to do in life is to be in a long term relationship. I't all about how much you both can handle it. Everyone around you will watch and learn, be a role model, step up to the plate and try, if it happens again then hey at least it will be easier to get over and you'll haven't any regrets ....you tried. There are so many reasons to kick them to the curb, but deep down inside did ya do it because you were hurt? The wound may not heal because your not over it, everyone deserves a second chance, best friends,mom and dads, sisters and brothers, so why not your "x"? If you set it free and it comes back...meant to be. Some people get married,divorce,and get remarried after they have learned they only want to be with this one person. Although it will take both minds to relate to this decision, you have to both want it. I don't understand the rest of your question, but it will "never be forgotton" we learn from it, it's the magic of life,being alive to experience it and to complain about it, hope you do okay, for what ever the decision, keep it real and do it because it's what you want. First time shame on you! meaning (him) Second time it's done it' will be shame on you, because you loved and trusted to give the second chance, then ya let it go......

Answer 3

Cheating is a HUGE deal. It violates the trust you have for or with your partner, and essentially..It can be forgiven, but not forgotten. Think about it, how many people have "Friends with benefits"? If all he wanted was sex without the commitment, he should have never been your boyfriend. He would've been honest with you since day one and been crystal clear about the kind of relationship he was trying to have with you. I advise that you break it off, and find a man that's worth it. You know, there's an old saying that might do you some good as well...It says "No man is worth your tears, and the one that is...won't make you cry."

Answer 4

Great job on leaving him!!!
Finding out that your bf/gf is cheating on you is a big deal but it's a bigger deal when you've been with him some years. Don't worry you'll get over it, even if you remember the thoughts, try to forget him if you can!!!
P.S. Good luck with the guy that helped you the night after this all went down!!!
What do ya know maybe one day you guys will talk all about it and try to be friends...... :}

Answer 5

Yes it is a big deal! That is why you feel hurt! You need a little more time to heal, that's all! Good luck!

Answer 6

If it's not the emotional turmoil cheating causes, it's the risk of becoming infected by STDs, something a condom cannot completely protect against.

Answer 7

I think it's a big deal. For me, it's a deal breaker. It depends on you.

For me, if it happened once, I'd never be comfortable that it wouldn't happen again. It's cheating. Period. Once someone cheats, and gets away with it, why wouldn't they do it again?

Answer 8

ONCE THEY CHEAT THEY USUALLY WILL KEEP DOING IT. AND THEY SAY THEY WILL STOP. BUT THEY DON'T. THEY ALWAYS FIND A WAY TO SEE EACH OTHER, YOU DID THE RIGHT THING. AND I WOULD FIND A GUY THAT IS NOT ONE OF YOUR BROTHERS FRIEND. YOU MIGHT HAVE BETTER LUCK. WHO KNOW WHAT THEY TALK ABOUT WHEN THEY ARE TOGETHER. GOOD LUCK.

Answer 9

Of course it's a bid deal!!!! My ex cheated on me and I've been over him for a long time but I would never forgive him for what he did.

Answer 10

You need to forget about him, he had his chance and blew it by cheating. People do say they'll change and never do it again but it's all lies. Find someone new and be happy. Your only on this earth once.