My adult daughter has an attitude issue with me ever since my husband, her dad passed away 6 months ago, she has always been daddy's little girl, and no matter what I try to do or say things never measure up to what daddy would have done and our relationship just keeps getting strained more and more.
She lives 150 miles away from me and her brother, comes home maybe once a month, calls me when she feels like it or when she needs me to do something for her (which isn't a problem with me) The problem is the way she comes across to us with these things( sort of like the Till-of the-Hun) and if we make mention of her brassness she goes into the Drama-Trauma.(" I can't believe this...I've done so much for you and your treating me like this") and on and on she continues.
A few months ago I started dating someone, and she has a problem with this because she feels my husband hasn't been deceased long enough for me to start dating. We were married 25yrs and I just want to be happy again.
2007-01-11 08:42:48 · 6 answers · asked by "N"saysable 1iric 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
this is your life not your daughter's - she has no right to dictate what you should or shouldn't do in YOUR life. just like the way she comes across to win her point when she needs something is rude, but she expects you to do it because you are family - well, family works both ways, if she doesn't like the way you handle her problems while she is being so brass - set her straight and tell her you don't like the way she treats you as a mother - she has no respect for you, but wants to dictate what you should and shouldn't do - that's not her right - if you want to date, that's your business not HERS. she is an adult and so are you - and she should not interfere in your decisions and if she doesn't like it's just to bad - it's not a subject that's open for discussion and you will not make it a topic of conversation. it's just none of her business. you have every right to be happy in life and it's not up to her to decide what will make you happy.
2007-01-11 09:06:16 · answer #1 · answered by try 2 help 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations on dating again. Since your daughter is an adult and lives so far away it should be fairly easy to handle her. Call her once a month and see how she is doing. Keep the conversations light and short. Don't answer the phone when you are not feeling up to it and quit giving her any advice at all. Listen to her problems but stay out of them. If she starts on a subject that disagrees with you just politely say "I don't want to talk about that" change the subject or cut the conversation short. You need to focus on living your own life now. She needs to understand that you will always be there for here but she needs to work out her own problems.Tough Love is what she needs. It might even strengthen your relationship with her. She sounds like she is using you for a sounding board and then putting all blame on you for the things she is not happy with in her life.Good Luck
2007-01-11 16:59:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, looks like both of you are stubborn.
She is a little right, it is soon, but it is YOUR CHOICE.
If she is bringing you down spend less time on her, she will come around.
She sounds like one that craves attention, any kind, even negative. If you keep pushing her she keeping snapping back. Just ask her HOW SHE WANTS THE FAMILY TO ACT OR TREAT HER since you are not doing it the way she wants ask her what the heck she wants you guys to talk about or act --- then maybe she will realize how selfish she is being and settle her attitude.
Good Luck, don't worry & be happy in your new relationship. Its good you can open up to someone and they respect you and your recent family matters.
2007-01-11 17:40:08 · answer #3 · answered by Shyeeee 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How much of an adult is she? Honestly, you don't really need to talk to your kids everyday. Let her call you when she feels like it. Drop her a line every once in a while to just see how she's doing and try not to interfere with her life. It would just raise drama.
Since she was daddy's little girl, she would be skeptical on who's going to "replace" her dad. I lost my mom a few years back and when my dad starting dating it was very hard for me.
She's angry that she no longer has her father around. It's very difficult for a child to loose a parent.
When she asks you to do things for her, simply tell her no. If she's an adult, she should be able to do it for herself.
2007-01-11 17:20:55 · answer #4 · answered by crodriguez1010 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I dont think theres anything you can really do but try. And it seems to me thats exactly what your doing. Dont give up becasue later you'll be mad at yourself for it and noone needs that. At the same time dont give into her just so you get along if shes in the wrong. Stand your grounds. i can undersatnd why shes hurt sje just lost her dad and her moms already dating. You should date and you do need to be happy yet 6 months is a liiiitle soon. I wish you the best of luck.
2007-01-11 16:58:41 · answer #5 · answered by Ambersgettingmarried 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her to lose the attitude, you suffered too and you have a life to live. Your husband would want you to get on with you life and would be ashamed if he could see how she's acting now.
2007-01-11 17:33:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋