example: i've been dating a guy for 5 1/2 years and we have not had a talk about seriuosly settling down. i think he likes to play with the idea but is totally not serious about it
2007-01-11 08:42:16 · 21 answers · asked by nikki_d 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It's different for guys than it is for girls.
For girls, they think if they are with a guy they love and he has proven himself to be a decent guy, thats really all you need.
For a guy it doesn't matter how much he loves the girl. He will not get married until he is ready. He knows ( or at least feels he should) that if he gets married he has to provide for and support his wife. If he is not in a stable place in his life or career than he will not even think about marriage, even if he is madly in love.
And any guy who wants to get married even if he doesn't have his life in order is irresponsible and probably won't make a good husband.
Now if your man has set a course for himself and his career is in order, and he still hasn't asked you, than I would say its allright to start nagging him if you've been dating for 5 and a half years. However if he is still under 26 then I'm on his side, there is no way he has his life together yet.
2007-01-11 08:53:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you know by the end of the 1st year. If you don't know by then, you probably never will. My husband proposed after 14 months of a serious relationship. We've been married 23 years this month.
Most of the people I know who waited past 2 years never married. I know 3 exceptions and the marriages lasted less than 2 years.
2007-01-11 16:46:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course, this totally depends on your age and maturity. But, generally speaking, you should at least go through the seasons with someone twice so that you can see if they have any crazy personality patterns. So, 2 years. Much longer than that (unless there are other reasonable circumstances like money issues, still in school, etc.) and it is all just a free ride. That's okay so long as everyone is on the same page.
2007-01-11 16:48:59 · answer #3 · answered by artichoke 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Realistically, when you're both old enough to handle the responsibility of being in a married relationship! Might I include that, from my husbands and my first date, we've only been apart at the most for 13 days, and have an 8 month old, plus we married only 4 months after we met. When its right you know, without a doubt. Tell him either make the final commitment or you're outta there, or h***, ask him, what can it hurt? He can either say yes or no, but at least it might get the ball rolling, in the right place.
Best of luck to you both!
2007-01-11 16:47:02 · answer #4 · answered by sweetpeasmum 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
5-1/2 years is a long time. I got married this past weekend after about 3-1/2 years.
Not to say that there's anything wrong with just living together, but do you want to get married? Does he? These are things you really should discuss together, honestly and truthfully.
2007-01-11 16:49:11 · answer #5 · answered by Glennroid 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As I've noticed through people who had been planning to get married or are married the answer to this question tends to be 2 years +, 5 1/2 is defiantly serious
2007-01-11 16:46:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have been in a serious relationship for 5 1/2 yrs and never talked about committment - ya ain't that serious. Talk about it now - get it out in the open. And make your decision based on response - Are you better off with or without him?
If you want committment and he does not - move on. Now!
2007-01-11 16:47:33 · answer #7 · answered by juneaulady 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He should definitly ask by now 5 1/2 years is a very serious relationship. Does he fear commitment?
2007-01-11 16:45:14 · answer #8 · answered by sanj 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I completely understand. I have lived with my boyfriend for 7 years we have not really talked about it either. Marriage is not for everyone, and I do not believe that it is necessary for a committed relationship. But if you do then you should discuss it with him and tell him that is becoming an issue that needs to be addressed.
Good luck, and let us all know if you decide to.
2007-01-11 16:46:29 · answer #9 · answered by Should be Working! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are both done with college and over 21, then there is no reason to not move ahead, unless the 5+ years has been long distance, off and on again, or there are significant issues (cheating, drugs, addictions, prison, abuse, etc.)
Go for it, that which is meant to grow must be nurtured.
2007-01-11 16:47:47 · answer #10 · answered by Been there 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋