We have invited 8 kids for my 5 yr old's b'day party in our 2 bdr apt. 4 of them live far and are sibling pairs. We are close friends with their parents and they will stay overnight with us.The remaining 4 kids live nearby and are classmates of my child. I am unfamiliar with the parents of 2 of these kids. The ones I am familiar with know I have space constraints and have agreed to drop-off/pick-up their kids for the party. 2 of the remaining parents are hesitant to drop-off their kids because they have never been to our house and neither do they know us well. I was told this by my child's class teacher. She also said that one of the parents was planning to ask me if it was ok for her to stay over at the party. I understand the parent's concern and desire to stay over but still feel she should opt not to send her kid to the party rather than ask if she can come over. I had specified that it was drop-off/pick-up. I want to avoid overcrowding. What should I say when she calls?
2007-01-11 07:44:56 · 10 answers · asked by neeshera 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Please, no answers, like the one right below, that side-track the main question.
2007-01-11 07:59:57 · update #1
Remember, if they are uncomfortable, they have the option of not sending the kid. Also, accomodating "just one parent' could well go out of hand if everyone were to think that way!!
2007-01-11 08:05:34 · update #2
One more thing. If I were in this situation, I would do one of these two things:
1. Decline the invitation if I am uncomfortable. 2. Take my child to the party and then leave promptly if I feel comfortable. If not, I'd leave with my child early on some pretext.
2007-01-11 08:11:37 · update #3
A few of you do not seem to have read my question carefully. I said only 4 of the 8 invited kids are staying overnight, along with their parents, because we are all close friends. The remaining 4 kids will be going home after the party.
Also, I have not offered to pick-up / drop-off the kids. The parents are expected to do that.
It's amazes me that so many of you jump to conclusions / are quick to judge without even bothering to understand what exactly my dilemma is.
2007-01-11 08:17:16 · update #4
I'm sure the people that hesitate to send their kid are not just worried about you, but the other kids and parents, too. You could offer to meet and talk with her, so she gets to know you, but we all know that the bad guys can talk and be nice, too, they do not dress up like Darth Vader for all to see that they are the bad guy.
Talk to her, tell her why you specified the drop-off only rule, but be prepared for her to say her kids can't come. I'm thinking that when you tell her that there will be other parents there, she will wonder why she can't come, too, and worry.
I do not blame her for her anxiety, there are so many stories in the news about child abuse, but I can't blame you either for worrying about the lack of space.
If it were me, since it is just her, let her come.and if it is a little overcrowded, so be it. More people, more fun!
I miss the old days, my parents let me go to any party, and they did not really know the kids, or the parents, there was not as much to worry about, then. And I was never treated badly, or mistreated..
Happy birthday to the birthday child!
2007-01-11 08:10:46 · answer #1 · answered by riversconfluence 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should say exactly what you have been saying. You don't have the room and this is why you offered to pick up/ drop off the children. I can't imagine any parent consenting to a child's party without meeting the parents. Especially in this day and age. Just be honest and polite. I'm sure everything will work out fine. By the way, I would suggest meeting that parent another time. I am curious to know what type of parent would offer to spend the night with their child at a strangers' home. Thank you and GOD bless.
2007-01-11 15:58:19 · answer #2 · answered by cookie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should have tried to meet these parents long before the party. I'm not surprised they don't feel comfortable leaving their kids. You should have probably not invited those children whose parents you did not know well enough yet. Make a point of getting to know them better. But, for the immediate problem of the party, those kids should not come. Nothing wrong with the parents telling the truth about being uncomfortable dropping them off. Tell them you understand and make plans to get together with them soon.
2007-01-11 16:37:10 · answer #3 · answered by Didi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please keep in mind that, like yourself, these parents only want their children to be safe and have a good time. The mother that was planning to ask if she could stay probably assumes that it doesn't hurt to ask, and means no offense by it.
When the parent calls, I would tell them that you don't have the room to entertain more adults, and then recommend a nearby bookstore or coffee shop where she could wait. Take down her cell phone number and say if there's any problem, you'll call her immediately. There may be a reason she wants to stay you don't yet know about - like the child has asthma or food allergies or gets very nervous around strangers. Talking to her about these concerns beforehand will help you both.
2007-01-11 16:35:39 · answer #4 · answered by Kate 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stick to your guns. you did specify that it was a drop-off/pick-up party. Just say that the reason that it's a drop-off/pick-up party is because of space constraints. Assure her that her child will be well taken cared of. Tell her how many adults will be supervising the party, what kind of food you will be serving, what kind of games you will be having and what time the party will end. This should help her feel more comfortable leaving her child.
2007-01-11 15:59:18 · answer #5 · answered by pride 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
5 is very young, and it is inappropriate of you to insist that their parents leave them alone with you.
If space really is a problem it is more appropriate to ask your GOOD FRIENDS to catch a movie or something during the party. You will have the space you need, their kids know you well and are comfortable and you are meeting the needs of the other children.
2007-01-11 16:39:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Invite them over or call them on the phone prior to the birthday party. Meet with them and show them that you are responsible people.
Your place is that small, that another parent could not stay for the duration of the party? Well, if this be the case, maybe you need to take the party somewhere that fits the requirement of occupancy in your state.
2007-01-11 15:52:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I will assume that when she stated "stay over' that means she wants to stay with her child for the duration of the party. NOT spend the night right,? cause, ILL. But come on lady. I understand the size compromise, its totally understandable, but for ONE woman to ease into that space for a couple hours is NOT such a big deal. NOW if shes talking about "sleeping over". I laugh when she called and hang up, LOL- okay not rally but in that case, just say that a larger number of people will be satying that you couldnt poss fit her in at this late time.
2007-01-11 15:57:20 · answer #8 · answered by peacfulwar 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You could always meet the as yet unknown parents beforehand. Quite frankly, only the most idiotic parent would entrust the care and supervision of their child to a complete stranger.
2007-01-11 15:58:11 · answer #9 · answered by castle h 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Ask your husband to keep the men in your bedroom watching TV so it won't be crowded and let the mom stay.
2007-01-11 15:52:34 · answer #10 · answered by Raven 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋