So my boyfriend and I have been together for years. We're really in love but I just want to get closer to him with out sexual intimacy. I want to save that for marriage which we are planning in a few years. I mean our relationship is great. I'm just worried since we've been together for a long time intimacy is necessary to be closer. I want us to continue to get closer with out that. Any advice or shared experiences will be appreciated.
2007-01-11 07:43:36 · 20 answers · asked by miley 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Intimacy doesn't have to be sexual. Get closer to him by being intimate about yourself. Share with him your hopes, dreams, goals, secrets, desires, likes, and dislikes. Spend a lot of quality time together and do favors for one another like cooking or cleaning, etc. Try taking the 5 love languages test online together and see which languages you are both most receptive to. When you know, then you can bond using each others love language.
2007-01-11 07:49:22 · answer #1 · answered by CPDawg 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There is always time to spend on hobbies or other like interest that you two share. Maybe you need to go dancing, this can tend to get pretty hot and close. Intimacy is something that when you both are ready and want it, it will be very special. Don't throw in the towel just because you think you have to. You will regret it.
2007-01-11 07:50:50 · answer #2 · answered by El P 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
I've been married for 27 years and this has been a tough one. If your guy is not a good communicator it's really tough, but not impossible. Don't whine about it....but continually make every effort to let him know how much you care about how HE is feeling and what HE is thinking about. Sooner or later the barriers fall and the open communication begins. Good communication will improve your relationship and you will become intimate without the sex.
Blessings!
2007-01-11 07:52:37 · answer #3 · answered by Just Be 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, I think it's great that you guys have decided to save yourselves for marriage. I know it must be tough to be with someone you love without the physical contact. Also remember that sex doesn't equal intimacy, you can have sex and never be intimate, just like you can be intimate without having sex. Share with eachother. Share your thoughts, your dreams, your feelings... That's where you'll find real intimacy. Take it from a guy that used to chase intimacy between the sheets, you'll never find it there. You'll find it in a shared secret or a tender kiss. Intimacy is in your heart, not in your bed. Good Luck!
2007-01-11 07:52:30 · answer #4 · answered by Leohades 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok ,#1, COMMUNICATION!! always talk and continue to do new things together and go on adventures. Same works after marriage as well. You always need communication! I think you are awesome for what youre doing! Give you both a COOKIE! Way to go! It's good to see that there are still people in this world who value love and marriage as something sacred.
2007-01-11 07:52:37 · answer #5 · answered by Mia 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all you are really to be commended for your resolve to save something so special for marrige. Thats a rarity and difficult in the world we live in.
Sexual intimacy can bring a couple closer, but it's not THE thing which makes a relationship work, or closer. Actually, working on your communication, and friendship first is more important, and will help the relationship be more firmly established. You'll know that you really get along well together, really trust one another, and are loyal, as people, and are not there just for the physical part of the relationship.
Keep on being great friends. Talk. Get to know him really well. Learn to be interested in things he is, and him in things you are. Do things together.
But I think conversation is the most important. Never stop communicating. And listening. Laugh together. And silence, companionable silence is ok too.
2007-01-11 07:54:29 · answer #6 · answered by LaSperanza 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Intimacy does NOT mean sex. Too many people confuse the two. You are looking for intamacy not sex. Congrats on saving yourself for marriage, you will never regret it!
Try walks together. Candle light dinners. Late night talks. Sharing favorite memories. Really get to know each other. Share family time with each others families, you will really get to know each other better when you are with the families. Go dancing. Join a workout center together. Start a new hobby together. Massages. etc etc
2007-01-11 07:49:15 · answer #7 · answered by Shayna 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all, I think its really admirable that you are trying to wait for marriage. Don't give that goal up!
You can be intimate emotionally without having to be intimate physically. Talk to him more. Go out and just enjoy each others company. Try a bunch of new hobbies together and see if there's something you both enjoy doing.
Good luck miss, hope it all works out for you!
2007-01-11 07:50:26 · answer #8 · answered by Chip 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been married several times and found that a special wedding, although it makes for a beautiful memory, you'll also have to consider what it takes to get that memory. The planning, stress all the things that go wrong and right, meaning the ups and downs can at times not be worth your sanity. If you've been dating this guy for several years and you are both in agreement about getting married, then have a small wedding with only close family and friends, and have it soon.
You could have a wedding with little money and enlist your family and friends, participating with the decorations and the cake and the only thing you would need to provide is the dress, that can be rented or borrowed. Then all you need is something old, new and blue. You can get married Now and not have to wait.. you've waited long enough to know if this is the guy, haven't you?
Don't put money in front of the decision that can effect the rest of your life. You'll have enough money problems to deal with during your marriage don't start out making money the reason when to marry!
2007-01-11 07:57:40 · answer #9 · answered by dlk426 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Weel most of the guy I dont tell all bust most of em only care for sex if you don;t give em any tell go get it elsewere but if he really love you and he trully want to respect you I think you should try to be romantic and plan your future sex is not all it's just sad that it come to a world wich that's everyone think about it .
I think your brave
2007-01-11 07:49:48 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋