ok so i was jsut wonderin if it bothers a guy if a girl takes awhile to have an orgasm. im talkin maybe 20 min. for my case im muslim n have had this terrible thing happen to me. i was circumsized which makes it harder to have an orgasm n i dont even kno if its the real thing. my bf is really nice n everything n i love him very much it does not seem like he cares bout the circumsizin n the length of time it takes for me. i kno he loves me n he knows its more of an emotional thing for me anyways. i jsut get kinda insecure bout it sometimes like last nite he was fingerin me n i jsut faked it (the first tiem i ver did that) cuz i didnt think it was gonna happen. i was tired n too many things on my mind. girls..is that normal. i dunno n im shy too in bed so how do i let myself just go? yesterday i was on top but b4 i cud do anything he went on top n came real fast. guys n girls i really need ur advice on this one. only serious answers plz cuz this really makes me insecure bout myself.
2007-01-11 07:35:28 · 25 answers · asked by Fahion_Gal 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
That is really a cruel and terrible thing to do to girls!
You should consult your doctor and see if there is anything that can be done to help you.
If you are willing they may be able to repair some of the damage.
Apart from that you are just going to have to be creative.
And remember how badly it made you suffer so you don't ever think about doing that to your daughter.
2007-01-11 07:46:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
#1 never fake it, it only hurts the situation in the long run.
#2 feel lucky for having a guy to understand and still try his best to take care of you, but in no way can he last 20 minutes if you proceed to intercourse without some fantastic foreplay.
There are many ways of bringing a girl to climax, usually intercourse is the hardest way, becuase of your circumsition you may not be able to achieve the orgasm quickly, if you want to get serious about this issue then talk with a gynocologist to seek professional help, seriously it could make a huge difference...
Also, seems like alot of woman get horney immediatly before, during, and/or after they mentrulate, if this applies to you get into a sex routine and see if things get easier, the big problem at this point is that you are so conscience about it it will be alot harder relaxing and climaxing earlier.
2007-01-11 15:51:12 · answer #2 · answered by mohvictor 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am aware of female circumsizion and how some cultures are still performing it. Where I live, in Canada, it was outlawed a couple of years ago after a man was charged for doing this to his daughter. However that is not the question. Your insecurity is probably nothing to do with your inability to reach orgasim, but you would be wise to speak honestly with your doctor and explain what is happening rather than getting advice from a bunch of strangers with no medical experience. As a male I can inform you that you are not alone by faking an orgasim and that lots of other woman also do this. But in all fairness to your mate you should not do this and instead just tell him that it is not going to work tonight for you, he would appreciate that much more than you faking it. Best of luck in researching probably causes for this, but please either seek the advice of a sex therapist or a doctor for proper possible causes.
2007-01-11 15:45:38 · answer #3 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
were you aware that you can stimulate your clitoris from the inside, if what I think is true then not all of your clitoris is taken away when you're circumcised, just the bit on the surface, but on the inside of your vagina at the front an inch or two in you can stimulate your clitoris from there by rubbing firmly, also there are other types of orgasms, you can orgasm from his penis rubbing on your cervix, or in another position it puts pressure along the back of your vagina so it's actually rubbing along your colon.
perhaps if you talk to your boyfriend he can 'prime' you by touching & caressing your body before he enters you with his penis. also tapping lightly on your anus during sex can easily bring on an orgasm, there's no need for full blown anal sex, i'm not suggesting that.
Do you masturbate?
I think you should. It's not 'dirty' and there's no need to feel ashamed of doing it. when you're alone just try a few of these hints on your own because then if you know exactly how you like to be touched you can then help your boyfriend to please you. I'm sure he'll appreciate this too, you say he cares about you so you've nothing to lose and everything to gain
2007-01-11 15:55:03 · answer #4 · answered by becbark 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Communication is the best sex tool!
Sorry to hear about what happened to you. BUT, I am glad you are still able to orgasm. Tell him exactly what you need, it sounds like he will do whatever you need. Also when he came (spelling that yahoo allows) too fast that is okay, because in about 10 minutes he should be good and hard to go again and the second time he should last for you!
As for normal, there are times that my wife is in the mood and she orgasms in minutes, other times I have to work for a long time with my hands and mouth just to get her in the mood and it can last an hour.
After 10 years of marriage I can honestly say that my sex life improves each year and that is because of communication!
Good luck, enjoy and communicate to get everything you need!
2007-01-11 15:38:59 · answer #5 · answered by me4tennessee 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My girlfriend takes awhile to so we do other things that enhance the experience I usually try to bring her to a climax either by oral or finger or vibrator or all the above. I am sure the orgasm is the ultimate for both so it is a must to get to that point. Maybe a nice hot bath together and set the mood with candles and a little wine. Hot massage oil wouldn't hurt and get him to massage you and then you do him. You must get over your shyness and talk with him about such things believe me if you discuss these things it will better for the both of you I promise......Good Luck
2007-01-11 15:45:32 · answer #6 · answered by patriot 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the girl will always take longer. also, if you're insecure and not relaxed, it might not happen at all because of THAT. It's a catch 22 - if you concentrate on getting an O, you don't. But if you don't really care about it, you will *** just about every time (more than once, hopefully).
20 mins does not sound bad to me, but it sort of feels like he is not taking the time to learn your body. An attentive lover should know what turns you on better than you know yourself.
2007-01-11 15:40:20 · answer #7 · answered by John C 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you shouldnt feel bad about stuff like that. i am pretty sure he understands and stuff but you should try foreplay or something to enhance your sense alot more, think about something he does that turns you on and take that approach. i think 20 mins of sex for an orgasm is reasonable. you should try talking to him and stuff and try figure out a way that he wont ejaculate that fast yet at the same time give you that orgasm. its like how some people say you can get an orgasm out of anal sex because of the lack of nerves, yet some people claim they do. But yeah discuss it with him i am pretty sure you guys can find a way to approach this better.
2007-01-11 15:43:16 · answer #8 · answered by xxmendozaedxx 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's normal to take anywhere from 20-45 minutes (sometimes longer) for a women to reach orgasm. If youre circumsized does that mean that youre clitoris was removed? If so, I am very sorry to hear that, but there are still other ways to reach orgasm. Orgasm is an emotional thing for women anyways.
2007-01-11 15:40:20 · answer #9 · answered by stripedbook 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
20 Min's is not really that long. guys should be able to go longer than that before they have to ***.. Plus guys have to know when to hit the right spot at the right times, plus be sexy about it. If a guy is just doing it, then i mean you can love him, and have feelings for him, but his way of doing it could not be that great. Girls fake allot of the times. its not good on the mens part is just gets them off quicker really. But when he is sexy about it, and hits the spot. you will be fine.. and having allot of stuff on your mind could be another problem why your thinking that. and dont be so insecure, if you love him, and he loves you, let it go on him.. he will love you more..!!!
2007-01-11 15:54:08 · answer #10 · answered by SHORTY38 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋