My 13month old hits me and everyone else constantly, mostly in the face. Any suggestions?

Question

please don't tell me to hit him back because I won't do that

Answer 1

You're never too young for a restraining order.

Answer 2

Definitly don't return the hit with any form of "violence". It is a phase they goe thru. It's simply a way of conveying how they feel as they are unable to express thru words.
So, remove the child from where it happened,explain that hitting is not nice and it hurts others, get the child to acknowledge (yes they can do this, a nod of the head is acknowledgement) what you have said, and give them a time out of 1 min/ year of age. Then when time out is over get the child to say sorry/hug etc the person they hit. Don't use the bedroom as the time out area, it's too much fun in there. Put the portacot up in another room or have a "naughty chair" etc.....and for anyone who doesn't think a child is capable of understanding, then i pity the offspring you may produce. Kids understand a whole lot more than adults ever give them credit for.
And my personal favourite is..for every time you have to discipline your child, be sure that thru the day there are five acts of praise for your child. It's called positive parenting. :)

Answer 3

Hitting him won't solve anything but reinforce that's it's okay to hit people. Time outs are the way to go. I raised my 5 kids and they are all loving, responsible people with lots of friends. When you put him in his room, and you do this enough, he'll learn not to do it. Make sure you tell him why he's being given the time out too. If you're not at home and need a time out place, take him out to the car. You'll have to sit with him in the car, but put him in his seat, and you get in the front. Always make sure you tell him why he's being taken from whatever he's doing. If he's on a roll, and just won't stop, (say at a party or something) just take him home. It'll suck for you, but you will be giving him a valuable lesson. You want him to be able to play with everyone, and not have "Bully" being his reputation. I know I wouldn't let my kids play with someone who always hit. Good luck.

Answer 4

good for you for being a good enough to know that striking a baby or any child is abuse now i will tell you what worked for me i have taken care of several children and almost all of them did this at one time to there parents and some times me i saw this done it takes time but it teaches new behavior which is what you want to do .. next time it happens look at the child immediately in the eye with a very exaggerated Stearn face over exaggerate your head back and forth with a no and say verbally with an overexerted no at the same time take the hand that struck you and hold it against the child's body not tight NOT hurtfully but against the child's body to let the child know that when this action happens for one moment the child looses the ability to use this hand getting the picture wait one moment for transition so it does not feel like a reward take that same hand and touch the area where the child " hurt you or the other person" and say "ouch that hurt show me nice "and show the child to touch gently then nod your head yes and smile this does work
child's minds are so simple at that age but they are absorbing information constantly with in 6 or 7 times of doing this you can click in my avatar and tell me how it worked . it worked for me every time well one exception with my steap son to be . i kept repeating this for months he was two and just would not stop this. i had to tap him on the hand it wasnt even a strike. i couldnt let him continue to hit me in the face.one tap and that was it but this was just besause months of my redirection behavaior modifacation and time out did not work. good luck

Answer 5

A swat on the hand is the best thing here but if you don't want to do that there are other things that you can use to teach him.

Grabbing his hand and saying NO would be the first thing. You have to let your voice show displeasure. At 13 months, he will be able to pick up some on basic inflections.

It's going to take a while for him to learn this way, but you have to make the behavior consistent so that he associates hitting with parental displeasure.

Good luck.

Answer 6

Hats off to you for refusing to hit your innocent child! Too many people automatically assume that children have some devilish "plot" to drive their parents crazy, even with "normal" behavior! Since you didn't give much background on your child, it sounds like he's entering the "terrible two's" earlier than most and with more aggression. (By the way, what DO you do when he hits? He's not too young for time-outs...and kids HATE time-out, so don't just dismiss its power!).

Has anything happened to him, either in the family or with relatives or daycare workers, that might have caused trauma and shown him violence? (Kids are great imitators!). When my child was about 11 mos., he had a new babysitter. Suddenly, though he'd never been hit by US, he began hitting his OWN leg and saying "bad boy!". We could not get the babysitter to confess, but we're sure she must have hit him and said that ( we NEVER did!). Trust me, that witch was lucky to escape our house without a severe beating, since we were sure SHE had hit our son!

Question anyone who's had care of your child and ask, casually, what they do to "discipline" him. Remember, even people you know and trust may lie about hitting him. If he hasn't been hit, or just as a precaution, take him to his pediatrician for a physical and some tests to determine if there is some other cause for his aggressive behavior. There are a number of possible causes, such as allergies, that could explain his behavior.

I normally wouldn't advocate (gentle) physical restraint of a child that young, but in his case, it would probably be the only way to deal with his outbursts...for now. If it's not determined to be physical, then the cause must be psychological. If he's not learning violence from YOU or someone in your family, then it has to be from someone else. Check out the site below for more info.

Good luck and stay the course of NOT hitting him back! I hope you ignore people who say he'll "snap out of" this behavior "with a good smack"! ARRGH! There is NO such thing as a "good" smack! Remember...if you did that to an adult, you'd land in jail!

Answer 7

My 13 month old went through the same thing. I stared holding his hands down and saying no no. Then I would immediatley take him to the corner and make him put his nose in the corner. After doing that only a couple of times, now he doesn't hit and if he does something that he is not suppose to do he will run to the corner. It has worked REALLY good for us. Hope it works for you!!! Good Luck!!!

Answer 8

Hold his hands, w/out letting him hit, and say 'no, no'. Be consistent, never let him hit you. Once it starts it's much harder to quit.

After saying no, no, dh and I pat our daughter's hands on our face gently and say 'sweet sweet'. If she's feeling really hyper and having trouble being calm then we redirect to patty cake, or playing piano or something where large strong movements ARE appropriate. That way you've given them another option for playing with YOUR face, or another option for being hard.

This has worked for all of our older six children, and is currently working for our 13 month old.

Answer 9

This is either a cry for attention or he wants to communicate to you but doesn't know how. Walk him around and identify things to him to teach him words so he can talk to you. As for the hitting, just grab his hand and firmly tell him "No". Then hug him. Maybe he'll replace the hit with a hug. Be careful of what he sees on TV or with siblings. Also check to see if a caregiver might be doing this to him or other children.

Answer 10

Good for you for not hitting back! I have never spanked my children (4 yr old and 8 mos.)

I would just give him a firm "no no" and then take his hand and rub your cheek gently and say "see, be nice". I think if you show them the right behavior it will catch on! It may take some time but it works! It worked awesome with my 4 yr old! :) good luck!

Answer 11

Uh, control him so he doesn't hit you! Grab the hands or arms and say NO in a firm voice...even when it's done to someone else...grab the hands or arms and say NO!
You really need to control the situation and not just sit there and say "what do I do" Stop the behavior now before it gets worse.