Is it normal?

Question

Is it normal for the boy in a relationship to always have to call the girl and organize dates and stuff? I'm in my first relationship, but the girl doesn't seem to know when and how to communicate---its also the first relationship for her. Is this just shyness? I mean I'm the one that seems to be doing everything now! My mom says its the girl that should be gung-ho and calling me, iming me etc.

Answer 1

If when you're together she's nice and friendly and you get on well then she's probably either shy, or is afraid of coming on too strong, or bugging you. In first relationships, people can still be a bit unsure about how to act. When you next meet up, why not just casually ask her why she never contacts you first, and say it'd be nice if she asked you out once in a while, otherwise you might get the impression she doesn't like you! That should let her know that you're open to invitaions, and reassuring her that you like her. If she still refuses to do any work, then ask her if this relationship is what she really wants! I'm sure it'll be alright, in my first relationship I never asked out my boyfriend because I was too shy, even though I knew he liked me and would never say no! I don't know why I did this, shyness can be a funny old thing sometimes. But when I got to know him better and got used to being in a relationship, I quickly relaxed and it was fine. It's probably the same thing with your girl! :)

Answer 2

There was a time not too long ago where it was considered inappropriate for the girl to call / make dates / pay for dates / etc. That was allllll the guy's job.

Nowadays, it's pretty much open as to who does what. You sound like you must be pretty young, but don't worry. It is normal to not be sure about what you're doing yet - she's having the same problem, right?

The best thing to do is just relax and do whatever comes naturally. Each relationship you'll have will have its own unique characteristics, so there isn't really a formula for the "right" way to do things. Don't worry so much about what's normal - because when you get down to it, what is "normal" anways? :)

Answer 3

No one should have to do everything in a relationship. Most of the times the guy does most of the calling but the girl does have some interest in going out on dates and lets you know about it. Either the girl is shy or is new to the this whole thing. Talk about it with her if you think its really unusual to you.

Answer 4

The girl may have been taught that the boy has to make the moves. Maybe she isnt even allowed to call boys, or, maybe she is jsut shy.. since it IS her first relationship. Best thing you 2 can do is just talk about it. Traditionally the boy should pursue the girl. Been that way since the begging of time. Us girls LOVE being pursued.. makes us feel special!

Answer 5

Well I am old fashioned, and the boy is supposed to call the girl and set up the dates, etc. Communication is the key to any good relationship. Talk to her and ask her why she doesn't communicate very well, maybe she is just shy.

Answer 6

Usually the man is considered to be the one who comes after the woman. .. . but if you are already in a relationship and she is not puttting in any effort then she may: (1) not really be as interested as she was at first. (2) Lazy. (3)Not really be the right person for you because relationships take cooperation from both partners and it also takes compromise. . . Don't feel like you have to do everything because you don't... Try talking to her first and be open and honest.

Answer 7

I think that in a relationship everything should be mutual. If you are the only one putting in all the work then she just may not be that interested in you. Stop calling/IMing her and let her come to you. If she calls back, you have something there. If not, there's plenty of other fish in the sea.

Answer 8

It is normal. As a matter of fact, that's good, that she is shy. That means she is not a little trap and doesn't know much about relationships. Now a days, the little girls know more than the boys and are teaching them too !!
Be glad your girl is still shy and innocent, you don't want a little alerted trap as a girl or do you?

Answer 9

It depends on the girl. When I was first dating my mother insisted that it was not my place to call a guy. She thought it made me look desperate and loose. Needless to say I don't agree with this, but something like this may be going on. Just next time say, I planned this date...next one is on you. Tell her to "call me tomorrow" instead of saying "I'll call you later". Simple things like this will help guide her as to what she can do without totally feeling like she is "chasing" you.

If things don't improve, you may have to have a frank discussion about it. If that doesn't work and its bothering you...move on.

Answer 10

its her first relationship so of course shes not sure what to do. a girl will wait on the guy to call bc that's just what some girls think. shes prolly thinking well if he likes me and wants to talk to me then he will call me if he doesn't he wont and if i call him i might be bothering or smothering him. shes just shy and new at this as are you and she doesn't want to mess it up or run you off. just work on it together. talk about it. then before you know it, things will come naturally and you both will be more comfortable around each other and will be calling each other all the time. just work on it together. good luck! :)