ok heres the deal I'm getting married next may..i thought of having a catholic ceromony since my finace family asked us to since they were paying for A LOT of the wedding..but I decided not to after talking to my fiance..we would have to promise to bring our daughter up Catholic and it would be hypocritical of us since we dont go to church and have our own beliefs and faiths..how are we going to get married?? I know we can have a non religious wedding but who would do it? a judge? i dont just want to go to city hall I do actually want to have a wedding. And where on earth would we have it..finding a place in NC is hard to find..please help I know I have over a year but I look after my niece 7 days a week for about 9 hours a day..not a lot of planning time..
2007-01-11 07:00:12 · 18 answers · asked by eightysgurl04 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Check your local phone book for officiants...I recently found a few in the category of "wedding chapels".
There are TONS of people out there who can come to your site, and offer you a faithful wedding, without the strict rules that come with a Catholic wedding...Most of them will also offer a civil service, as well.
Also, just about anyone can become ordained online, so you can also have a loved one do the service for you (yes, it's entirely legal).
2007-01-11 07:03:59 · answer #1 · answered by abfabmom1 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't stress...you have lots of options. One, you can speak with the priest and alter the ceremony so that you don't promise to do this. You won't be able to have a full mass with your ceremony, but it would still be a traditional setting in the Catholic church. (This is common when either the bride or groom is not Catholic and they get married in the church).
Other alternatives include using a different church. I've been to marriage ceremonies of several different religions and many of them are very simple and don't even bring up children or how you will raise them.
Or...get married at either a park or garden. I'm from St. Louis and there are several alternative to church weddings here. We have the botanical gardens, the Butterfly House and others. With these places, the owners can help you contract a wedding officiant (legally able to conduct weddings...but not necessary affiliated with any religion). North Carolina is a beautiful area...and an old area. I'm sure there is somewhere that you can find. Try old mansions and even museums. If you are in a "newer" area; then contact the major/nicer hotels. Many times you can have both the wedding and reception in the hotel banquet centers and they turn out beautiful.
Just talk to your fiance and find out what he would like to do. You might be surprised...maybe he has a great idea.
2007-01-11 07:10:16 · answer #2 · answered by Heather 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't have a Catholic wedding if you don't want to, it's your day. I do agree that going ahead with it and then being hypocritical is not a good idea, and is very consciencious of you to think about.
There are lots of ways you can get married, whether you want a religious, spiritual (which does include the word 'God' but doesn't mean it has to follow a specific religious following) or a civil service.
You can have a judge or justice of the piece do it, or you can usually find people that are licenced to marry where you live in the YellowPages. Also check the internet for 'officiants' in your area...many of them will do whatever ceremony you like. Also try a local branch of the United Church, because they are the most open to doing a variety of weddings, and you don't have to be a member.
Hope this helps, and good luck!
2007-01-11 07:08:53 · answer #3 · answered by runda007 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go ahead and have a church wedding. Just because you have your own faiths does not mean you're not religious nor would it be hypocritical. I'm not a "traditionally" religious person, be my husband and I were married by the chaplain from his ship at a chapel on a Navy base. Religion lives in your heart...not on a piece of paper or in a place.
If you don't like the church your fiance's family has chosen, find another one you like. However, be completely up front about the fact that you don't want an old-style wedding, and that you want something a little more progressive.
If it comes down to it, and they don't want to pay because they're being turds about it, then just find a way to do it yourself, even if it means postponing for a while to gather funds. Weddings need not be big nor expensive to be special.
2007-01-11 07:26:56 · answer #4 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My brother and is wife got married in a non-denominational church. You might want to search for one of those and I do believe they are increasing in popularity.
Former friends of mine did get married in a catholic church - he was raised catholic, she was raised baptist...she did not need to convert and I believe that was the church where he was confirmed - they only had to do premarital counseling with the priest (and they didn't have the 'full' catholic ceremony with mass and all that).
Something else to consider is getting married somewhere other than a church - many public places allow weddings to take place (for instance, where I live, people can get married at the museum, zoo, metroparks, wherever) and some halls also have areas where the actual ceremony can be performed.
2007-01-11 07:13:38 · answer #5 · answered by Sunidaze 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I commend you for choosing not to be a hypocrite and make vows you don't mean. Too many people do just that to make parents happy and I've never understand the point of lying to make someone happy.
A justice of the peace can marry anyone within their jurisdiction. Find a location, then call the town/city hall for that locale and ask for a list of justices of the peace.
You certainly have enough time to plan a wedding. I worked full time and was in graduate school while planning mine, so you CAN do it. And the internet makes it so much easier than it used to be. A good idea is to go to sites for brides such as weddingchannel.com or brides.com and ask for referrals for sites in NC. Or using your internet time to surf for sites. You can usually find a site by doing a search for "Wedding sites" or "Wedding locations" followed by the area you want.
2007-01-11 07:06:21 · answer #6 · answered by Karen L 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
We had the same problem, my fiance is Catholic (non-practicing) and I am well baptised Lutheran (non-practicing)
We went with a minister of all religions, he isn't a "judge" he is a minister but will wed ANY religous belief. I would look something in your area that does the same.
If you don't want to do that, it really isn't hard to get certified to be an officiant for a wedding, you can take the online course to do so, pick a close friend/ relative ask if whey will take the course and be the one to marry you.
2007-01-11 07:20:28 · answer #7 · answered by Nichole 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you and your fiance should do what you want to do and if your future in laws have a problem with it then they don't have to pay for it. If nothing else it can be a small wedding that you and your fiance can plan together.
I guess it all depends on the differences and what you and your fiance believe religiously.
But i totally agree about not having a catholic wedding if you don't want your child to be catholic. That was a great decision on your part.
2007-01-11 07:06:05 · answer #8 · answered by Kristi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can search online for wedding locations. Generally each city has one or two beautiful ones. Many of these places have officals that they can offer if you need one.
As far as the husband's family paying, just let them know that May is the perfect time to get married outside, or that the flowers are perfect for pictures.
Good luck!
2007-01-11 07:06:13 · answer #9 · answered by Mrs. Murphy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I used this site: www.localweddingofficiants.com. You will fill out a questionnaire with your wedding preferences and several officiants will contact you within the next few days. We absolutely adore the Reverend we chose. He is doing a non-denominational ceremony for us, and he let us choose how every single aspect of the ceremony will go, including how he dresses! I hope there are some participating officiants in your area.
Congratulations and best wishes.
2007-01-11 08:50:39 · answer #10 · answered by Happy Wife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋