foster family?

Question

i am in foster caring and i have a little boy thatdont follow anything we say,he is very angry how can i help him to be a better person?

Answer 1

A friend of mine is a previous foster parent. In speaking with him on occasion, he'd mention to me that these kids have been through the wringer and their minds have been tormented. The kids generally learn what to expect and how to deal with it, but fighting, stealing or seeking attention of any kind. He said he kept his kids in line by simply being mysterious to his foster kids. He never told them what he was thinking and it kept the kids wondering and guessing. In that way, they would tune in and keep them out of trouble. It wasn't standard.

Answer 2

Acknowlege that he's angry. Ask him why he's upset. Maybe he'd like to draw to express his anger. Children have a hard time expressing their feelings and aren't sure why they're angry. He's been taken away from his home and everything he knows. He isn't able to see things from your perspective (how nice you are to take him in). Try to ignore his anger ("You're upset right now and need to cool off. If you want to talk about it when you're not so angry I'm here.") Remember the only way he knows how to handle things is the way his parents reacted, which probably is why he's no longer with them. Try to love him through this difficult transition. The foster system should have counselors on call to give you tools to handle stressful situations. Good Luck!

Answer 3

You must know your foster child's family background. That often plays a part in the child's behavior. Children who have been abused carry feelings of violence and rage as they enter their foster homes. Understanding the source of this anger enables parents to communicate and work with foster children. I would suggest finding a support group in your area or online that deals with behavioral issues. In addition, talk to the foster agency and see if they can guide you toward classes dealing with this issue. In the meantime, continue listening to him and let him know that you are there for him. In addition, has he seen a doctor? Could he be suffering from ADD? If so, that should also be addressed.
Good luck to you!

Answer 4

Please email me. I am looking into theraputic foster care (angry, illtempered, misbehaving children). I have 3 step children and can give you one on one advice if you like.

Answer 5

YOu don't know what all he's been through. Or what it's done to him mentally. You just have to be patient and caring, yet firm.