Should the best man wear his military uniform when no one else is in the military?

Question

i'm getting married at the end of March and my brother (best man) recently returned from his tour of duty in Iraq and wants to wear his army dress uniform in the wedding. However no one else in the wedding party is in the military, except for the maid of honor and she already said she isn't wearing her uniform; in fact she told us, we didn't even have to ask her. The rest of the wedding party is going to match, same tuxes and same dresses. Should I let him wear it, or am I trying to micro-manage this wedding? Since he is my brother this is causing all sorts of hate and discontent in my family, and it seems as though the rest of my family thinks that it would be fine if he wore it, but I'm not so sure.

Answer 1

Me and my husband are both 2 time Iraq veterans(US Army).First off,its great that your brother served a tour of duty.We are greatful for his service and the service of all the men and women fighting the war.Since he is the best man he should match the rest of the wedding party.When he goes to his military ball he can wear his uniform.What you can do is at the reception when you make your speech talk about your brother and his service and make him stand up so everyone know what he has done for our country

Answer 2

Best Military Uniform

Answer 3

Formal Military Uniform

Answer 4

When it comes to a wedding the bride and groom get to set the dress code. You would be within your rights to say wear the tux. If he doesn't want to he can decline to be in the wedding.

That's what your RIGHTS are, but not necessarily what you should do.

I know a lot of stuff seems important now, but having been married myself I can tell you the actual day is a blur while you're in it, and decreases in importance in your memory the longer you are married.

Here's what I would do: I would have a friendly talk one on one with your brother. Tell him WHY you'd like him to wear the tux. Also offer to pay for the tux rental. If after telling him your reasoning and offering to pay he STILL says he wants to wear the uniform I'd just let him. In the end the hard feelings he might harbor will be much more upsetting to you than the groomsmen not matching.

Answer 5

Traditionally, military members wear their Class A dress uniforms to all formal events, excepting those that show partisanship for any specific political party or ideological group. A wedding being a qualifying formal event, your best man has a right to request that he be allowed to wear his uniform. However, as this wedding is in honor of yourself and your bride, the conversation about whether or not you want him to be wearing it as a part of your ceremony is between the two of you and no one else.

As a recently-seperated Army soldier having been through 2 tours in Iraq, I'll say this: if the two of you support his decision to serve this country, then you shouldn't LET him wear it, you should specifically REQUEST that he wear his uniform. If the maid of honor chooses not to (females in the military often dislike the dress uniforms, I've noticed), then that is her prerogative, but it shouldn't be a factor in whether you brother should wear his.

Point being, his wear of the uniform is a point of pride for him. If others feel that it wouldn't be PC to do so, it's their issue. Supporting your brother is not a show of support for an increasingly unpopular war or an oft-unpopular president, it's a support of your brother, the soldier/sailor/airman/marine.

Answer 6

It's completely up to you. I will tell you that traditionally, the best man doesn't wear his uniform if the groom is not in the military because it might steal focus from the bride and groom AKA the reason for the wedding. If you really don't want him to wear it, just talk to him. Your family needs to understand that this is YOUR wedding and the decisions for your wedding are ultimately up to you because YOU will be remembering this day for the rest of your life.

My sister got married last summer and there was a big discrepency about her having my brother as an usher and not a groomsmen. She stuck by her word, my brother was an usher and even though there was friction, everyone still had a lot of fun and eventually got over it.

Answer 7

NO!!! Only let him wear it if you want to. He is the best man at YOUR wedding. If the maid of honor always got to wear the dress they wanted, then you would never hear of an ugly brides maid dress. It is your wedding which means that you get to call the shots. If you want everyone to match then you should get it. This is your day to be in the spot light, not his. Now before everyone goes off and wants to say something about honoring out veterens, etc. Know that I am a veteren! My enlistment ended less that a year ago and I was in the war!!!! There are only two reasons that he would want to wear his uniform and neither have anything to do with your wedding. One is that he wants the attention drawn to him. He is proud of what he did, as well as he should be, but your wedding is not the place to put that on display. The second is that he does not want to pay for the tux rental. If that is the case, maybe you could help him out with the money. It is real easy for everyone to say to "let him wear it" but it is not their wedding! This is your day, make everyone wear what you want them too. I'm sure that some of your groomsmen would be more comfortable in jeans and a t-shirt, but YOU deside what they wear, not them. P.S. I do have a career degree as a professional bridal consultant and this is the same advice I would give any of my clients in the same situation. The desicion is yours to make and no one elses! Good luck!

Answer 8

My husband is a veteran. He agrees that anyone in the military should be proud to serve and wear the uniform. This applies to appearing on TV, formal events, etc... In fact, that's why whenever a military person represents someone or their family in public, it's practically required. He said everyone should be proud to wear their uniform.

He feels sorry that the maid of honor won't do it, but that's her choice. I'd be danged proud to have that in the wedding photos.

Answer 9

If he wants to wear his uniform, let him. The day WILL NOT be his day. In weddings all eyes will be on the bride, not his uniform. It will add to the joy you will be sharing with everyone. He is your brother after all, don't you want him there to share your love. On my first marriage, the man who was the best man really didn't want to wear his, I had to practically beg him to wear it. It is an honor to have anyone in the military in a wedding, because of all they have to give up. Remember some don't come home, and family's do have regrets. He is probably hoping you will feel it would be an honor to have him standing there in full dress on your day. It is a way he can show how much he loves you.

Answer 10

It would be more than fine, if he wore the uniform. It would be an insult to his career and the whole military in general, if you do not let him wear it. My husband is RETIRED Air Force. He still very proudly wears his dress uniform to any and all formal functions we go to despite what others think.
The men and women who put their lives on the line serving our country are very proud of that uniform you take so lightly. It's their honor and privledge to wear it.
My wedding...my husband was the only one in a military dress uniform. My sister's wedding (My husband was an usher. He was the only one in military dress.) My best friend got married, recently. We were matron of honor and best man. My husband wore his dress uniform. I was unable to afford the fancy expensive gown the other wedding attendants were "supposed
to" wear. So, out of the back of my closet, came a long black
cocktail dress. (Her wedding colors were pink and white. I don't own anything pink.)
My best friend said this in the end to all her attendants...
"I don't care what you wear. Weddings aren't supposed to be about everything matching and a whole bunch of expensive crap
no one is going to remember 50 years from now. Weddings are
about love and family. That's what people will remember and care about."
I thought I'd pass that comment along as food for thought.

Answer 11

it is not required for military members to wear uniforms in wedding parties, and it is most commonly done if the groom is in the military BUT it can be done. The one thing is that he will stand out above the other guys - including the groom - which may not be a good thing. Just make a call and stick to it. I would tell him he can wear his uniform for the reception, tux for the ceremony as a compromise.