I am on the brink of deciding to get married. The thought scares me. That's beside the point. I know she would like a wedding with familly and friends. But I'm more the vegas type, very private. What do I do?
2007-01-11 06:09:06 · 66 answers · asked by gizmo 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
my husband & I had the same dillema, I would have invited everyone I ever met & had the big cake ,dress & all the trimmings, but he was just like you & I already knew him well enough before he proposed to expect him to suggest a very private wedding so we made a compromise, we were married in a registry office with only immediate family and one best friend + partner, then after, we had a garden reception party with more family members & just a few close friends & to be honest I wouldn't have done it any different we both agree that it was a very special day.
2007-01-11 06:48:19 · answer #1 · answered by becbark 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Communication. Communicate how your feeling and your thoughts. Come to an agreement on something. There are many options now with advancement in technology. You could have a small wedding and webcast it. I am not certain of the companies that do this, but I know that they are out there. You would get an intamate event and she would get to have all those she wants to watch it see it. I would only do that if it is agreed on by both you and your potential wife. You also want to think about why you want to just go to Vegas and get married. Think also about how she sees this. She might see it as I don't want people to know so lets just run off to Vegas and get hiched. I would not think that is what she is or would think, but anything is possible. The wedding is only 1 day and only a few hours typically. Make sure you put the time and real effort into the many seconds, minutes, hours, days, months, years, and decades to come.
2007-01-11 06:44:33 · answer #2 · answered by David W 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is the one and only time the two of you can have a church wedding with the entire family. You can do Vegas every years for the rest of your married life.
Besides disappointing her, your private plans would probably break your mother's heart and make your new in-laws very sad. A little sacrifice on your part will make a lot of people happy.
If expenses are the real problem here, sit down with her and her parents and make reasonable plans for a wedding that will be nice but won't put you or her folks in the poor house. There are lots of way to have a nice wedding and reception, and I bet the new bride will be open to suggestions.
Good luck!
2007-01-11 06:34:37 · answer #3 · answered by Suzianne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, first, it's normal to be a little scared before marriage, but what kind of scared are we talking about here...lol. If you are not sure about marriage, maybe you should reevaulate the situation. Marriage is forever. Or at least it should be. On the whole wedding thing, compromise. Maybe have a beach wedding and take close family and friends. My husband and I were going to do that, but opted for the wedding instead. Remember though, weddings are expensive, and a lot of people fall victim to forgetting what the wedding day is all about. It's about loving someone and committing your life to that person and sharing that with your family...not about putting on a show or impressing people with all the money you spent, and even if your intentions are good, sometimes this happens anyway. Just remember to enjoy yourselves on your wedding day. It only comes around once! Good luck and Congrats!
2007-01-11 06:37:45 · answer #4 · answered by countrygirl0805 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to sit down together and talk about the situation. Tell her how you feel about it, and listen to what she has to say.
One compromise would be to have the ceremony in Vegas, but then have the family reception when you get home.
Another would be to have the family at the ceremony, but then have an understated cocktail party instead of a big reception.
Yet another idea would be to have your small private ceremony at home with only immediate family, and then have the reception with family & friends.
Who knows, after talking about it, one of you might decide you like the other's idea.
Please remember, that even though you're a private person, a marriage is a celebration of your love and commitment to each other. The place and people involved are secondary to this.
Good luck!
2007-01-11 06:31:39 · answer #5 · answered by tokengrl1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me answer this from the father of the bride standpoint.
My daughter just got married.... HUGE wedding... major guest list.. some serious debt by everyone....
It was a nice wedding.. no.. it was a GREAT wedding.. !
BUT.. for the money that was spent on 8 hours of celebration (and a half day of hangover) the happy couple could have had a honeymoon AND the downpayment on a nice home. But this waas their choice and everyone supported them on it no matter what the individual opinions were
So...Its all perspective and reality... Trust me, you and your bride need to sit down and figure out what is going to work for BOTH of you. If you can not agree on the START of a marriage, then you are going to be starting that marriage with a handicap.
Good luck to you... (felicitations to the Bride to be)...
.
2007-01-11 06:33:01 · answer #6 · answered by ca_surveyor 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a pickle!! I would think that public weddings are awesome and beautiful. I over heard that my boyfriend is going to ask me to marry him. Just thinking about it makes me thing of getting married in a United Church in my hometown where it is relaxing and beautiful. Vegas on the other hand is more of a wild type. It depends if she wants a wild, soothing or beautiful wedding. I think that Vegas is a little much (sorry, I had to say it). Video tapped the wedding in Vegas if you are feeling private! I would say go to the church at your hometown or where ever she wants it. I think she is the one who has to get her make-up, nails and her dress picked up. Try to pick out 2 plans (plan A and B). Anyway good luck with your choice!!
2007-01-11 06:30:30 · answer #7 · answered by xoxMeaghanoxo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are the private type; you may as well get out of it, because there are going to be a lot of changes after the wedding. The bride usually has thing pretty much her way. Her side of the family usually pays for it unless other arrangements are made.
Hope you two will be very happy for a long time.
2007-01-11 06:31:26 · answer #8 · answered by Barbra 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I certainly think first things first would be to sit down with your soon to be bride and have a "serious" talk. You probably have cold feet, but if you are not ready then simply tell her and if she truly loves you she will wait. But if after a year you still feel that way then maybe she is not the girl for you. I would definitely have a heart to heart talk and see what you two can decide upon and go from there. Good luck. I've been in a relationship for over a year and I want to get married one day but don't know how he feels and truly I think every girl will agree with me that they would rather know the truth than be led on...
2007-01-11 06:21:06 · answer #9 · answered by jcgrier24 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is step one in the art of compromise that will become a valuable and welcome tool in marriage. Once you make the decision that this is the person you want to be with forever, seeing her side should become second nature. Hopefully she feels the same way and you can find common ground.
Maybe together, you can plan a small intimate wedding that is more your speed but still satisfies the dream of having a wedding that she has probably had since she was a girl. I'm sure ti will work out if you are both truly commited to it.
2007-01-11 06:20:18 · answer #10 · answered by smithy1023 1 · 6⤊ 0⤋