Is this offensive.. I called the mother of a girl who just had a sleepover here...?

Question

My daugher still wears pullups at night and I guess her friend called her diaper head... My daughter was quite hurt. I didn't hear it. My daughter is 7 and didn't know what to do.. I am trying to teach her that it is good to tell people when they cross the line. So I told her I would call the mom this time (to show her how to work conflicts out)... I called the mom and was very nice and said 'my daughter said this.. my daughter is really self concious about it and had hurt feeligns.. etc'. I asked her to talk to her daughter and explain that nothing is wrong with my daughter and she doesn't want to be called that.. etc. I kept it very upbeat and said 'no hard feelings, I just wanted to clear the air, so we can all go forward from here"... Did I do ok... would you be offended if I called you because of something my daughter said...?

Answer 1

If I was in your situation I would have done the same thing. I would have been polite but got my point across, kids can be so cruel these days it is ridiculous!

Answer 2

I think that was a great way of handling it! I think I will keep that in the back of my mind for my own future. Youre teaching your daughter how to handle conflict! GOOD job! I would not be offended, I would be glad that you called if I were her, I would then sit down my kid and talk to them about why it wasnt ok to call names. Good one! and as for all the other people on here judging the poor woman for her child wearing pull ups, thats not the question, and you don't know the answer, maybe she has been seen by a dr. maybe she has bladder/kidney problems, you never know.. Good Job Mom!

Answer 3

Yes I think it was great. Today is not like it was when we were kids. These things that kids say to each other can build up and you'll eventually have your columbine all over again. I am not saying that your daughter would do that but other children who's parents don't care enough could. Children can be very cruel to each other. I was the brunt of many a joke when I was a kid in know how much it hurts to be called names...

Answer 4

You've done all that you really could do. Now it is up to the other mother to talk to her daughter about the situation. If you have another sleepover with this girl and she's still picking on your daughter, I'd just make sure that the other girl is never invited back for a sleepover and remind the mother that her daughter is still calling your daughter names.

Answer 5

I wouldn't be offended. Embarrassed maybe, but not offended. I'm trying to raise my kids to be compassionate to other people and their situations, so if I found out that one of my kids did something like that, I'd be very disappointed in them, and feel really embarrassed that my child acted that way while a guest in someone's house.

I think you did the right thing, and it was good for all involved to see how to handle the situation with a cool, level head. I admire that. I don't know if I would have had the patience to keep a level head like that!! Kudos!

Answer 6

You go mom!!! I would want any child's parent to call me and inform me if my child was hurting other's feelings. One of my biggest "rules" with my children is that I want them to be respectful of other people. If you handled it exactly as you said, then you have shown your daughter how to maturely, calmly and responsibly handle a situation that could have other wise been confrontational. As you are questioning whether you handled it or not, I'm wondering if the mother of the other child got offended? If she did, she is the type of mother that spoils her children and thinks they can do no wrong. I have had a few friends over the years that treat their children this way... and it only leads to one thing... children that are disrepectful and spoiled, thinking they can do no wrong themselves. We, as parents, are their teachers, their guidance, if we don't show them how to be good, caring individuals, then who will? In a world full of people who are selfish and "don't give a darn", respect and kindness is a very important lesson to teach our children. You did good, and if the other mother was offended, it's her personality fault, not yours.

Answer 7

I think you did a good job! ANd to the person that asked why a 7 yr old is still wearing pull ups at night, some children's bladders do not develop properly and they still have problems wetting the bed at night. It is not the child or the parents fault, it is a medical condition. My son had the same problem up until about a year ago and he is 9.

Answer 8

I think that's great, and if they get offended then they don't care how their children are treating others. Personally, if someone called me and told me my son did something like that, I would be much appreciative about so that I could talk to my son. If parents don't communicate what children are doing, a parent may not know their child is doing some things and fix the problem before it gets any worse.

Answer 9

If the friend were my daughter, I'd want to know. I wonder if you might want to prep future friends by telling the mom beforehand that she wears pull-ups, and to please tell her daughter not to say anything about it. That way the mom and daughter can talk it over and the mom can tell her daughter that different kids mature at different rates, that your daughter may be better at some things than the other girl, and that's just the way it is. polite.

Answer 10

You did the right thing. It was good you were able to keep it "emotionaless" Kids have to learn. My dd is mildly autistic and parents don't really teach their kids how to be nice to a child just because what's wrong with them is not always obvious. Personally if I had found out while the child was still there I would have sat down with them and explained it to them. But you did great!

Answer 11

I wouldn't be offended at all. I would definitely want to know that sort of thing if my daughter said that to someone because I've raised her better than that! You did a great job!