No faith in love or realtionship's.?

Question

I have lost a lot of faith in the whole concept of relationship's and love. How real (love inparticular) and important are they. In this day and age with the divorce rate, the meaningless flings and forgettable hook up's. Relationship's seem very dispoable and easy to replace these days. I did at one point believe in the concept of marriage but now, I don't know. You hear about the happy one's and the one's who are in hell. How do you know which one your gonna be? I don't want my wife to turn around one day and tell she doesn't love me anymore or vice versa. And then there's the option of no string attached. Just sex no nothing else. "Keep your options open." But that's sure as hell far from my value system! So what's left? I've been considering living a life of celibacy and singlehood. Invest my time and energy into my work. Being a better writer and artist. At least I know what I'm investing in there. Any thought?

But then again I'm young (20yrs), and maybe I'm letting soceity mess with my mind. I've never really been in a realtionship. But still You gotta wonder.

Answer 1

Give it some time.... Go places, do things, and you might be surprised, that you find your soul mate without even looking.

Answer 2

I totally understand how you feel and find myself feeling a similar way; however, the difference is this is after a few bad break ups. The hardest thing to grasp is that none of this will make sense to you know, but as stupid and cliche as it sounds "it all makes sense in the end". Kind of one of those you have to see the big picture things which is kind of tough to see the big picture of your life at your 20's when so little has been set in a definitive direction for you yet. It's gonna happen that one day you will not be expecting anything still faithless and devoid of a relationship or the desire and you will just get to know someone. It's their personality and atleast some physical attraction that will draw you into them. I think you just need to keep living your life how you see fit, do what you feel like doing just so long as you can look yourself in the mirror without feeling ashamed or guilty for your actions or their consequences. You don't have to sacrifice any of your values and maybe you will find yourself meeting someone of the same values with similar experiences who understands what you are going through and the things you've been through and that could be one of the biggest things that draws you towards that person. Like I said none of this makes sense now but all the pain and suffering and wondering will mold you into the person you are so just stick it out and you will find out it will be worth it in the end. It's tough to tell yourself these things because you won't truely believe them until they happen but you gotta have faith in that. It's all I can tell myself to help make sense of my own confusion and disillusionment of people and relationships. Problem is everyone around you is willing to give in to something less and just settle for something that doesn't feel right than be alone and suffer. Problem is just having anyone person creates a new set of problems and issues and this is why people end up unhappily married or divorced which seems to be rampant these days. I think that causes a significant strain on my faith to see people make the same mistakes over and over again. But you just stick being who you are be greatful that you have not settled for something less than exactly what you are looking for just to feel anything at all. All of this will make you a better person for it.

Answer 3

I don't blame you, at age 20, for feeling jaded about relationships. Your generation has grown up with a high divorce rate and a highly sexualized idea of "love" due to the media.
You can know which type of marriages yours is going to be because you choose wisely. You don't base the rest of your life on "feelings" - you base it on being smart. You learn about the person's character and morals and goals. You understand that even if you "have feelings" for a person and they aren't right for you, you can end it- before marriage.

I support your idea to put your time and energy into your work at this point in your life. You probably won' t be ready to get married for another 10 years, so why bother? Meanwhile, you can spend a little time learning about relationships, with books like "Are You the One for Me?: Knowing Who's Right and Avoiding Who's Wrong" and learn to define what you want in a wife so your convictions are stronger.

Answer 4

You haven't even started yet! Wow, most of us get our hearts broken a few times before we feel like throwing in the towel! Being a man and into writing, use that talent to show a girl you can have an intelligent conversation...I'd love to go head to head with my man, but he's just not into abstract thinking, or analyzing different situations people get themselves into. I think you'll get a lot of respect just for your abilities with the English language believe it or not! It's a skill very few have, or seem to put any effort into anymore. I just know it does make the difference! You're already one step ahead of the rest. But do yourself a favor and resist the temptation of loud pushy girls, they are not what you need if your relationship shy.. go for the quiet mouse in the corner. Guaranteed she's more interesting and honorable and has the integrity you're looking for. Good luck finding her! And don't have bad expectations...if you do, you're likely to fail just because of that. So no bad vibes.....! Think positive! :)

Answer 5

Well I say Lost of faith in relationship and then love...Is a very normal feeling...And when the right person come along then you will know is there a person for you....You are too young to worry about that you still have too much life

Answer 6

It does make you wonder but you shouldn't lose faith - I have had a few bad relationships and just when I decided to give up on love and meeting a nice guy it happened. You can't live your life on what happens to other people you have a 50/50 chance of it working - I'd take my 50% any day

Answer 7

u never know how ur mirrage would be,but u can be sure that if u chose ur spouse for the right reasons it will surly last.life wont always be cheerful but at least with someone u love u'll be able to live through.just dont have this dark look all the time coz it will affect ur social life too,no one wants to be around a dark person all the time:)

Answer 8

I think I have lost all faith in relationships also. I am just trying to keep my mind on my work, and school, and off of relationships for a while. Maybe we should focus on ourselves instead of taking up so much of our time worrying about who we're gonna be with next, or if its even going to work.

Answer 9

I agree.

Answer 10

be smart