Most of guys are just interested in sex, or "casual dating". I'm not looking for someone to get married right away...but I like to be respected and if it works, loved. As a Christian, I would like to wait until marriage to have sex...
So, with this in mind, how can I let my date be aware of that...without making it sound like I want to get married with him?
I just don't wanna lose my time going out with guys that are only looking for sex.
2007-01-11 05:57:17 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You don't need to bring it up unless it's relevant to the conversation. No matter how you phrase, if you randomly bring up marriage on the first couple of dates you'll scare him away. If it fits into the conversation, just say something like "I'm waiting until I'm married". However, more likely it will come up when you're making out and he wants to go further. Then you can say "this isn't going any further; I'm waiting until I'm married."
Contrary to what you might think, not all guys are pigs. Sure, they crave sex but that doesn't mean that they are incapable of having romantic relationships with women waiting for marriage.
Your best bet of finding a guy that would be okay with this is sticking with guys in your church. A lot of churches or other Christian organizations have singles nights. If you find a guy there he'll be more likely to expect that kind of response.
Good luck.
2007-01-11 06:42:50 · answer #1 · answered by Eve 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them as soon as you feel comfortable tell them ( not in the middle of a make out session though!) and if they back off- then you know that's all they were about. Some guys respect that, some don't thats just how the world works.
By the way- I know it's your religion and you believe in what you believe in, but sometimes it's better to have sex with the man you love before marriage. Sex is a huge deal in a relationship, and if it's really bad, there could be a lot of frustration or worse in your marriage (I've seen it happen). Just a thought! Good luck
2007-01-11 06:03:15 · answer #2 · answered by Nicole K 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ist it sad that in today's world you even have to be worried about this? Just a couple of generations ago, men assumed girls who were "marriage material" would not have sex until marriage. I think one thing you can do is put yourself in places where you are more likely to meet guys who share your viewpoint. For example, you are more likely to find the kind of date you want at a church function than at a bar. That being said, even Christian men struggle with lust. Show guys how you feel even before you meet them by dressing and acting modestly. Maybe they will realize the type of relationship you would want by seeing the way you demonstrate your values in other situations.
2007-01-11 06:10:27 · answer #3 · answered by vs1958 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Discuss it early on...ask that person what they are looking for or desiring with regard to dating. Do they hope for a long term partner, are they just dating around and having fun, are they marriage minded or want to head in that direction, do they just want a friend with benefits, etc. In that conversation you can make it clear that you would love to meet someone to date long term and hope to marry someday, and don't believe in sex before marriage for yourself (in your words, of course).
Might as well lay it out there early so if that's an issue, neither of you will waste each other's time.
2007-01-11 06:03:33 · answer #4 · answered by . 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you just need to be honest when it comes to your choice. Tell them up front, it will make those out just for sex run, and make sure they know that it is a firm rule. I think that the decent guys will understand that it's not like your looking to get married tomorrow, but you also aren't going to sleep with every person you date. It will probably in the long run make your choices a lot less, but hopefully they will be more meaningful relationships in the long run.
2007-01-11 06:04:28 · answer #5 · answered by gizzy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Date people who share you morals and standards. If you're on a date, you're most likely going to talk about yourselves, which would include religion, wouldn't it? You can casually mention your stance of premarital sex. Men who respect you will respect your beliefs and the good ones will continue to date you. Men who want to get laid won't call you again. It's how you separate the wheat from the chaff.
2007-01-11 06:04:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well be honest and tell them when that subject comes up. Or if you notice that a guy just wants sex then tell him what you want and that he'll have to wait. If he waits for you then he's worth it, if he leaves you cause of that don't worry you won't loose much. Try to find someone that respects you and loves you.
2007-01-11 06:02:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When the conversation gets heated, meaning talking about sex. Just causally let him know that you are waiting until you do marry to have sex. Also, let him know that you are not going to be with anyone who doesn't respect that. You Go Girl.
2007-01-11 06:01:24 · answer #8 · answered by In love with Life 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, b4 u accept the date let him know up front what ur intentions are. If he can respect that then maybe he's a keeper. God Bless.
2007-01-11 06:01:37 · answer #9 · answered by momseekinganswers 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How i am very happy to fiend good girl like you. You choice the best way in your life. Husband only how can have every thing from you .
2007-01-11 07:13:47 · answer #10 · answered by abotraka777 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋