Question Details: My close friend is in love with two guys. One that she has been with for a long time and another she met she feels she has a connection with. She is scared of losing her existing bf, but can not deny feelings for another. She asked me for advice and I only told her that's something she needs to figure it out on her own. I hate to see her like this and her confusion is preventing her from being productive. I want to stay out of it, but I hate seeing a close friend do this herself. She keeps asking me for advice, but I keep telling her that is something I can not be a part of. All I know is that she has been with both intimately and her bf is my friend. I want to tell him to move on so he won't get hurt, b/c he's trying so hard and already bought an engagement ring. Any advice?
2007-01-11 05:49:33 · 8 answers · asked by Confused 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
She isn't confused she wants to have her cake and eat it to she has a boyfriend and she had him when she met the other guy if she cared about her boyfriend so much she would have never started seeing this other guy. I would tell her to stop playing with other peoples feelings and get her act together before she ends up alone it will soon come out she can't hide it forever.
2007-01-11 05:56:38 · answer #1 · answered by Spacious 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your friend is rather selfish. She thinks more of herself than either guy because you can't be truly in love with more than one person at a time. When your IN LOVE you don't have the ability to be in love with anyone else because that person takes all your thoughts, nobody else can even come close to moving in (so to speak). If she is messing around now she'll more than likely mess around while she's engaged and married until she "grows up". I think both guys need to know about each other, no one deserves to be mislead.
2007-01-11 05:58:26 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I honestly think that she's lucky having you as a friend. You seemed to care much about her. However, you must remember that her bf is your friend too. Try not to be bias on one side. Advice her to talk it over with her bf. If she no longer have feelings for him, he needs to know that. It will hurt him but at least he knows. I believe that her bf loves her so much that he already bought her an engagement ring. With such great love, he deserves an explaination at least.
2007-01-11 06:31:38 · answer #3 · answered by summer 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The friend and the boyfriend are both your friends you have mentioned. So you owe them both an explanation. Use the following comments to come up with appropriate things to say to the people involved.
To the friend: You need to choose one or the other. And if you choose your boyfriend you need to tell him that you have cheated on him. How would you feel if your boyfriend was in the predicament you have gotten yourself into? Please make a choice before such and such a date or since your boyfriend is my friend I will be forced to let him know about this situation.
To the boyfriend: Before you ask her to marry you I think you need to sit down with her and have a serious talk about your relationship.
If the date passes without her deciding: I need to tell you that your girlfriend is trying to choose between you and another man and she has slept with the other guy. As your friend I wanted to let you know.
2007-01-11 05:57:46 · answer #4 · answered by prettyblueeyes101010 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell her that she needs to make up her mind. She has to love one more than the other, and right now she is getting her cake and ice cream, too.....Just my opinion, but I bet if the engagement ring is big enough...that will make up her mind. If she was committed and truly loved her b/f the way she says she does, she would not have even started the little fling on the side. I think her b/f deserves better so maybe you should consider his feelings a little more than her's.
2007-01-11 05:59:00 · answer #5 · answered by jlynna10 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. Stay out of it. You have the right attitude. While you don't want to see either one of them get hurt, it's best to let them make their own "bed". You are in the middle too much already but how will they ever learn to treat others with dignity otherwise? Sometimes it's a hard lesson but that as they say is life.
2007-01-11 05:57:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are in a heck of a spot, your friend knows that she is doing wrong, and as well she is asking you for advice so that if it all goes down the tube, then it will be your fault, so hold you advice, and let her sort this out by herself as she is going to have to live with the consequences, recommend that she seek professional counselling but they will tell her the same thing, the ultimate answer must be hers, and hers alone
2007-01-11 05:57:54 · answer #7 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go with the heart. anything else is useless.
2007-01-11 05:52:23 · answer #8 · answered by revolou 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋