he already nows i dont want to move where he's at because im physically tired of moving......if he really wants it to work wouldnt he cosider moving to my city
2007-01-11 05:48:36 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i been in 4 different moves within just 1 year i explain this to him. so im physically tired of moving and dont want to move again
2007-01-11 05:54:10 · update #1
he doesnt want me to go to school or work
2007-01-11 06:02:32 · update #2
the thing is my sister is special needs and her baby will be coming to the home soon so i would have to take care of it sometimes as well
2007-01-11 06:04:45 · update #3
good
2007-01-11 05:50:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
I agree with some of the answers I've seen thus far. If you have explained to him that you need to be with your family right now (maybe not forever, but just for a while) and that you truly don't have the energy to make another major move, he needs to weigh that in his decision to keep asking you to move to where he is.
My fiance and I weren't originally from the same place either...not even the same part of the country. I considered moving in with him, but his parents are deceased as is his brother. I have a lot of family here, so instead of getting upset with me (because he had his house built and planned on living there forever), he decided to move into my apartment with me (keeping the house still) and we're going to have our own house built down here, because he deserves to have a family now. The point is, he gave up his home to be with me. I haven't seen him since February, due to his chosen career path. I hope he comes home soon though!
I really do not like to say this, but if your boyfriend can't accept that your family is very important to you, then he is not the man for you. A true man would be at your side, no matter what...even move to be with you! Good luck and I hope things work out for the best for you!
As far as the school and work thing, if he's old fashioned, that's ok, but let him know that you want to go to school and work (if that's what you truly want).
2007-01-14 18:05:18 · answer #2 · answered by littlerandiheather 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't rush him. I like long distance relationships, personally. It can be hard, but for me it's better to spend a year or so apart. Why? It gives you a much better chance to know the person in and out. This does not mean you can't see them, but don't push it.
My girlfriend lives in NY and I live in CT. I'm going to NY for school in October, and by that time we would have been together for a year. To me, this is the ideal situation. I know my girlfriend so much better now then I would have if I lived in NY the whole time. How you ask? Because we are not allowing ourselves to get distracted by a physical attraction. We are getting to know each other on the inside. I go to see her once a month, and we get our physical attracting "out of the way" for a month.
As I said, it's hard but we both agree this is better for us then me moving down there now. We will have a much stronger relationship when I move then we would have if I moved now.
2007-01-11 05:54:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Long distance relationships are hard. I was in one for about 3 years. And then I moved back home (graduated from college), a lot closer to him than where I was before. We did have our issues and were broken up a few times but in the end, if you really want to work at a relationship, it has to be both people who want to work at it. If it's only one person trying to make a relationship(esp. long distance one) work, then it'll most likely just fall and collapse. If he is really tired of it and you two don't have any intentions to move closer in the future, then maybe it's time to move on.
2007-01-11 05:53:39 · answer #4 · answered by Sharon X 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you really want it to work, you'd be more willing to compromise. If the only reason you won't relocate is because you are "tired" of moving then that says to him he's just not that important to you. If it were due to a fabulous job or family constraints or some other reason, that would be more understandable.
It takes both of you to make the relationship work. You are putting it on his shoulders, but it's equally your responsibility. He is no more obligated to relocate than you are, but if neither of you will, there's no reason to stay together.
If you are not willing to move, and he is unwilling or unable then your relationship is at a stalemate. Might as well cut your losses now and move on so both of you can meet people who are better matches for you.
2007-01-11 05:52:23 · answer #5 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does he want to break up or is he tired?
Long distance relationships are hard and can be trying. He should be able to voice his opinion but relationships take effort and compromise. COnsider it a good thing he's expressing himself and sharing his feelings and see what you can do. If all else fails then you may want to end the relationship but maybe other things can be done. If you both can't compromise on location though, perhaps you can't compromise on bigger decisions and it's a sign to move on..
2007-01-11 05:53:05 · answer #6 · answered by ChiQuiBaby 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A relationshi is based on compromise and rearranging especially a long distance one give him time and discuss these things with him not just tell him discuss them. what does he think? or are you just telling him and expecting him to do it your way? Another move might mean your last and you will be with him or maybe he wants to move near you have you given him a chance to say. Take him on a moonlight picnic to discuss these matters and see what happens.
Long distance reltaionships are unique with lots of patience it involves knowing what the other is doing? Good luck it is worth it because it allows the people involved to truely know what they are doing.
2007-01-11 05:52:39 · answer #7 · answered by sarell 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It depends upon his work, his comfort level where he lives, the actual distance involved, and how much he cares for you. The same goes for you. Discussing logistics can really turn off feelings. If I were you I would go see him. Make lots of love, and then resolve the situation once and for all. It will either work or it won't.
2007-01-11 06:01:32 · answer #8 · answered by Monsieur Rick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, You should have a serious talk with him and tell him how you feel and what you expect of him. I think both of you would have to consider moving not just him. If you love each other I'm sure you'll work something out. Good luck in your relation!
2007-01-11 05:52:33 · answer #9 · answered by Karen 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Time for a reality check : you seem to have given enough information to figure this one out on your own...
Here's the equation: BF; says, "tired of long distance realtionship.
GF: States unwilling to relocate.
BF:States he is bored, will not relocate.;
GF:Stays where she is;
This realtionship is not moving forward. it's stuck in neutral...
Choose to discuss and Part ways amicably, or keep dreamin' and hang onto false Hope THAT this "exhausting, fatigued, worn out relationship is ever going to be more than its current state of a long, slow painful death.
2007-01-11 06:06:58 · answer #10 · answered by Brains & Beauty 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are smart not to move since there is no guarantee you will stay together. Youre doing the right thing, you dont need advice. Let him move and if he doesnt then he isnt that interested. Its one way you will know for sure.
2007-01-11 05:52:26 · answer #11 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋