My son is getting married in April. They are paying for the wedding themselves and have been very selective on the invites. My friend e-mailed me and asked if it was OK if her husband could not come that she bring a female friend of hers. We lived in a small town and I do know this woman but it is not someone that I would want to invite to my sons wedding nor does he really care to have her there. I thought this was a kinda difficult question to answer in a way as to not cause hard feelings. How should this be handled???
2007-01-11 05:40:39 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Honestly, that is very rude to ask. Most likely her invite was addressed to her and her husband, and not to the friend. I would say no, and just explain that your son wants to spend his special day with those close to him. Tell her if her husband is unable to attend, but she is; then your son has the ability to invite another person that didn't make the first list. If she is offended then maybe she is better off not attending. I would never bring someone other then my SO to a wedding, especially if they were not invited.
2007-01-11 05:50:19 · answer #1 · answered by Answer Girl 2007 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You could just say that your son really only wants close friends to the family to come. Even if you do know this woman, your son does not have to invite anyone he doesn't want there. Just suggest to her that it's a very intimate wedding, and that your son and daughter in law only want close family friends. You might offend, but I've learned that you're going to offend a few people when planning a wedding.
I guess it's better to offend the friend of a friend, than a closer family member.
2007-01-11 07:02:51 · answer #2 · answered by runda007 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Was the friend invited? If not she shouldn't be asking to bring anyone because she was not invited, in which case you'd tell her they are only having a small with wedding with family and very close friends. If your friend was invited then she should bring her friend or anyone else. I mean most of the time when someone is invited with a date, they can bring whatever date they want. I've brought dates to weddings that the bride and groom did not know.
2007-01-11 06:16:38 · answer #3 · answered by strtat2 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can totally understand where this woman is coming from if she has a fuddy duddy husband who would be no fun at all. He may not wish to come, or is so boring she'd rather leave him home, which would make her have to come alone, which in turn may make her feel uncomfortable. She probably thinks nothing of asking, since the spot would have been filled anyway by her husband. I'm sure she things it makes no difference who she brings, that it's headcount you're looking at. I don't blame her for asking, as the worst you can do is say no, although it's probably not a proper thing to do.
However, I totally agree with an earlier answer that if you nor your son wish to have her friend there at all, tell her that the guest list is very limited due to budget restrictions and if the husband cannot make it, they wish to fill his spot with family. Again, if her feelings get hurt or she doesn't want to come alone - TWO extra seats open, or he gets to save a little money from their absence. If she's any kind of good person, she may have her hopes dashed, but she'd understand.
Best of luck!!
2007-01-11 06:03:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's easy she is not a friend of the family and you nor your son or his wife to be are friendly with this other women . feel know kinda of way by letting the other lady know that it will not be OK . let her know that your son and his wife to be are being very selective about the invites and they are not comfortable with inviting outsiders . first she was wrong to ask you that . it's not your wedding it's your sons and if her husband can not attend then she either should come alone or not accept all together you owe her nothing and she was the wrong party here.
2007-01-11 05:57:59 · answer #5 · answered by sexyswells42 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
Either tell her the truth but with a "twist". Tell her that he did not invite that lady friend and only the husband and so he would like it to remain that way. That he is only looking for originally invited guests to show up at his wedding. The wedding is only for close friends and people he know and is comfortable with. She will take the hint.
2007-01-12 06:15:37 · answer #6 · answered by Mei Lin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the wedding invitation was for two, then techincally, she should be allowed. If she knows a lot of the other people then she woudl be okay on her own, but if not, letting her bring a friend in place of her hubby is a very good idea so she won't be uncomfortable.
2007-01-11 13:40:02 · answer #7 · answered by Chrys 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you actually invited her? If so, she would probably like to come - and you did invite her - and feels a little awkward coming alone. It is not out-of-bounds for her to ask to bring her.
But it sounds as if you haven't invited her. In that case, just explain that it is a small wedding, and that they have had to keep it to family and their close friends - and you she hope she understands. That there are a lot of people that they would have liked to have invited, but had to keep it to a small number.
Good Luck.
2007-01-11 05:53:57 · answer #8 · answered by apbanpos 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I agree with the other posters, tell her that the budget is very tight since your son is paying for the wedding himself and that only very close family is being invited. Make you can sneak something in like, "Oh my, I can't believe cousin so-and-so wasn't even invited..."
2007-01-11 05:50:08 · answer #9 · answered by question_everything 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Say I'm sorry although my son and his fiance have decided to keep the wedding small and decided to only invite family and "their" very very close friends.
2007-01-11 05:50:31 · answer #10 · answered by kelleyann_p 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋