we were watching t.v. and his phone goes off. he picks it up and reads a text and then starts to reply. i can totally see that he is talkin to his ex girlfriend. she is in town for the weekend. they dated for a really long time. im guessing about 2 years. and about 8 months later me and him found each other. we have been together for about 9 months now. do you think it means anything that she is trying to come around? or is this just an old relationship that needs closure? he never tried to hide from me that it was her, and didnt get defensive when i asked about it. what is going on?
2007-01-11 05:38:47 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
yes im over 15 years old thank you a$S hole. i am 21. so fcuk off.
2007-01-11 05:47:11 · update #1
very very messy breakup, she use to cheat a whole lot and tried to kill herself a few times in front of him. she is a total wack job. i swear. when we first started dating he use to tell me everyday how much he hated her. its been a touchy subject. i only know a few details here and there. he doesnt like to talk about her too much and i figure he has told me enough.... its not my business... and he will talk when he is ready. but i havent gotten a lot of the story of what happened, he hates talking about her, and now she has just up and jumped back into his life trying to apologize and be extreemly friendly. and she asks him about me..... like "who the hell is that". my babe is honest and he hasnt tried to go meet her, because he knows that would hurt me. but i just hate her, i just feel that she is jealous of me and trying to get her ex boyfriend back.
2007-01-11 07:15:29 · update #2
They have a lot of history, and you have to keep that in mind. There is nothing wrong with him wanting to stay friends with someone who has been part of his life for a long time. Worry about her if he starts having to work late, or needs to make a run to the store and is gone for awhile and comes back with one or two things. Generally, you can feel if something is amiss. Go with your gut instinct girl, he sounds like a keeper who doesn't have to hide the fact that he isn't doing anything wrong... : )
2007-01-11 05:45:43 · answer #1 · answered by Shannon Kay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best news is that he didn't try to hide or get defensive. If he HAD, it would mean he felt guilty, which meant he still had some feelings for her that he felt he had to hide from you. The fact that he didn't feel he had to hide his feelings from you meant that he doesn't have any. Make sense?
As to what it means for her to have contacted him, you say she's in town for the weekend, so presumably she lives some distance away. I'd have to know more to be completely certain -- was it a messy breakup? Did one of them cheat on the other? Or was it a fairly clean split?
My guess, based solely on what you've said so far, is that it was a fairly clean split (otherwise they'd stay away from each other), she lives some distance from your boyfriend, she hasn't seen him in a year and a half and is making a purely social call on somebody she used to spend a lot of time with. Your boyfriend is treating this innocently, and I don't see any reason for you do do otherwise -- at this point.
I'd say, give him the space to visit with her, find out about HER boyfriend(s), what she's up to, and tell her about you. As long as any meeting occurs in a public place and it doesn't interfere with any of YOUR plans, you have nothing to lose by letting them visit briefly. And you have a LOT to lose by getting possessive, jealous, and overprotective about this.
2007-01-11 06:00:40 · answer #2 · answered by Scott F 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm in a similiar situation. I have been dating my boyfriend for 8 months and he has an exgirlfriend of almost 3 years. They talk a lot and I try my best not to worry about it. In the beginning it made me feel like crap. I felt like he wasn't over her and that I was just the girl he dated because he couldn't have her, but now, I don't feel that way. I figure he's been with me for 8 months and their done.
The way I look at it, I rather be the girlfriend who trusted him and was betrayed than the girlfriend that was psychotic and parinoid over nothing.
If he didn't try to hide it, more likely than not they are just friends. I mean, he's being completely open right now, I would try my best not to be too worried over it.
2007-01-11 05:49:07 · answer #3 · answered by Modern_Monroe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's harmless from what you've said.
It's natural after that long time together that even though they broke up they wanna be friends and remain in each other's lives. If he's over it and honest, why freak out? Why not ask to meet her or if not just let him have his life. After all, they broke up for a reason and stayed that way for long enough and....this is the main point: HE'S WITH YOU!
2007-01-11 05:43:24 · answer #4 · answered by ChiQuiBaby 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
well if you have a problem with that, then i'd let him know. its my personal opionion but, never, not ever should the person your dating be talking or hanging out with ex's. there's too much past and history between the two and i'd definitley be uncomfortable about it. I dont know the ex girlfriends motives, but if hes with you, there should be no reason for her to be texting him.
shes being very disrespectful.
2007-01-11 05:44:43 · answer #5 · answered by Mrs. Donigan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
at least he's not hiding, he's being honest. gotta give some credit there. but the best place to hide is in plain site. ppl never see what they are not looking for. just be on guard. let him contact her and see where it goes. if he wants to do it behind your back he can. don't let him meet her though.
show your trust in him. maybe he will appreciate that.
2007-01-11 05:44:58 · answer #6 · answered by stacy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's not trying to hide anything, then I wouldn't read much into it. If he starts going out and saying he'll be around at a certain time and isnt, then I'de start to worry.
2007-01-11 05:44:35 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The ex just probably wanted to talk. To put your mind at ease, I suggest you ask your boyfriend point blank if he still wants to be with his ex. Also, you can try to get together with the ex and ask her what her intentions are. Good luck.
2007-01-11 05:44:32 · answer #8 · answered by greeneyes25162 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally since he is being all open about the whole thing, he should understand that you don't appreciate his ex calling. And if there is nothing between them she "wouldn't" be calling. Evaluate your relationship with him and fast. If he is with you then he should be telling your ex not to call him anymore.
2007-01-11 05:47:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as he is upfront with you about it, I wouldnt be too concerned. They may still be friends, and he is remaining in contact with her. I do think that you have a right to request that he not talk to her around you, unless you would prefer that he did. As long as he is open about it, you may even ask him his feelings regarding his ex. Just to see were it stands.
2007-01-11 05:46:20 · answer #10 · answered by dkiller88 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋