I was raised in a ga family my da is gay. I was tease in school, when he came to school the teachers knew and one time the teacher suspended me after she found out about my father...I have never held it against him that him being gay messed me up, but he is now raising his bf's kids same as my brother and I. I see the things they have to deal with and its not right for it to continue like that. They are having problems like I did as a kid. I know you dont judge anyone because of being gay or straight but is it right?
I know this is a touchy subject but being raised in a gay house is hard, anyone have any advice that I could at least give to my step- brother and sister to help ease their pain , I'm only 20 so I'm still learning on how to deal with the pain i went through as a kid, it causes me many problems growing up..so any advice would be great. thank you
2007-01-11 05:32:41 · 8 answers · asked by ERICKSMAMA 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Poor everybody on this one. The funny thing is that the hurt you experienced as a kid has nothing to do with how your Dad raised you or how the household was balanced. It had everything to do with people outside your household. Friends, family, and teachers were the dysfunctional ones here.
I'm not sure what the best thing to do is. i hate to say have the kids lie, it feels like a cope out. I guess it would be best in the long run. You know, this is my Dad and "Uncle Frank" kind of lie.
Listen, I'm a straight white bread married guy in my 40's. I think our world sucks when it comes down to accepting people for who they are. To make matters worse people will go to church, end every conversation with "have a blessed day" and carry a bible every where they go....only to treat others like dirt and emotionally punish children for the behavior of their parents just because they disapprove of the behavior.
I'm ranting, sorry. Make him "Uncle Frank" I know it's a cope out but people suck.
2007-01-11 05:43:58 · answer #1 · answered by Thomas 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
ARGH....well this is a tough one to answer. No, I don't think it's right, because ideally a loving mother and father should raise a kid, they need to see how that type of relationship can work, and hopefully work well. Especially if all kids involved are straight. ON the other hand, they at least have parents who care enough to raise them, not everyone has that. Also, it's not that much different than being a minority, either in race, culture, or religion. There will always be haters. You can spend time w/your stepsiblings, and constantly point out the good points. They will know how to cope better in life with difficult situations. They have two loving parents, not everyone has that. They will hopefully learn how to NOT HATE. Life is much easier and simpler if you don't hate. What a great older sibling they have in you, to be so concerned for them. Good Luck.
2007-01-11 05:42:06 · answer #2 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Did your father love you? Would he have saved you any of the pain you suffered in the hands of the ignorant community you lived in if he could have? Did he keep you safe, fed and clothed? Would you have suffered the same had he been an abusive alcoholic? Or a Drug user/pusher? Or a thug?
The point I am trying to make is that you might have been teased and terrorized by students and teachers alike even if your Dad wasn't gay. I went though many years of the same treatment in school because I was "fat" and wore glasses. I wasn't fat, I wasn't cool, I wasn't blond. I moved into the school district when I was in third grade...my sin! And I was miserable until my senior year of high school! Life sucked, I never dated anyone I went to school with and frankly I just tried to be invisible....under the radar...until I built a circle of friends that had also moved into the school district. KIDS ARE CRUEL. AS CRUEL AND NARROW-MINDED AS THEIR PARENTS WANT/ALLOW THEM TO BE!!! Explain that to your little brother and sister. Be there to give them support and protect them. Talk to your Dad honestly about what your school years were like, so that he can better protect them. And quit blaming your Dad for the idiots that will someday regret what they did to you...what goes around, comes around!! Best wishes.
2007-01-11 05:55:33 · answer #3 · answered by Barbiq 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your family is no different from a family with a mother and father if they love you and care about you then F what anyone else thinks I'm sure it is hard to live your life when you have some many negative closed minded people making it harder to deal with. You sound like a good person that was raised right and my advice is to tell your sisters and brothers that it does not matter what others think of them it's what they feel and think about their family and as long as they are loved and adored then F every one else.
2007-01-11 05:45:30 · answer #4 · answered by Spacious 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What's messed up is that you were suspended for having a gay parent. Sue them. Did they put that in writing?
I don't believe that it is the being gay that messes a kid up, but the gay parent's actions, like lying about it and staying in a hetero marriage, or being sexually promiscuous (that is bad for kids whether the parent is gay or straight).
It is also the fault of the kids who make fun of children that come from gay families. Teasing messes kids up.
A lot of kids say they are messed up by having gay parents, so I have to say yes......
I personally don't see the torture in having a gay parent. Parents can do much worse....molestation, physical/emotional abuse, neglect. Much worse than being homosexual.
2007-01-11 05:41:22 · answer #5 · answered by gg 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You know I have a uncle that is homosexual and has a life partner. I don;t know the things that went on in your life. Maybe they can talk to your father and seek his advise. Seek some counseling. Unfortunately this world and people can be unforgiving when it comes to hurting people. People think they know what normal is and what is right and not right. I would have gotten the school board involved for suspending you for that was illegal. I hope you find some peace in your life.
2007-01-11 05:42:25 · answer #6 · answered by WillsBroncoGal 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
One easy helpful hint is to be around more often so you can be a role model for your dad’s significant others kids. You need to teach them to be strong and proud of where they come from. Also perhaps talk to your dad about enrolling them in big brothers and big sisters. I am involved in the program and more kids are being enrolled who have two mommies or two daddies so they can get a role model of the opposite sex. Also if the kids tell you anything regarding being picked on in school please tell your dad, and if he won’t listen, talk to school officials. It’s against the law to discriminate and harassment to be picked on for your lifestyle choices, or the choices of your parents.
2007-01-11 05:40:44 · answer #7 · answered by prettyblueeyes101010 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Of course it messes the kids up and hurts them in the long run. As for becoming criminals they have just a good a chance of becoming a rapist or a robber as a straight kid.
2007-01-11 06:27:35 · answer #8 · answered by robedzombiesoul 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋