I'm 62. Wife is 38. She says give her a baby or she is leaving me. I'm not at al eager. What can I do?

Question

We fight alot. She never apologizes and always raises her voice. All is emotion with her. I'm rational, highly educated and professional. I'm also disabled and know the time I have left means I'll be dying about when I believe kids most need a strong father figure. I think kids for us is very irresponsible. She has no job to return to though a mba degree just get more dust. What would you advise for each of us? Your imput would be much appreciated by me and I hope by her. Thanks for taking time to respond. Steven

Answer 1

Talk to her about it , again..this time with a marriage therapist. Maybe she can be the medium between you two. If you aren't sure you want children by this women..than by all means..please don't do it just for her. The relationship will only get worse if you bring children into an already dreadful situation.. God Bless and Good Luck

Answer 2

There is an age difference between you two and you are right even if she got pregnant today then you would be 80 at the time your kid turned 18 and every kid wants to play ball with his dad thats just not fair to the both of you. Her biological clock alarm has gone off a bit late and at 38 chances of conceiving easily are not in her favor also not in her favor is that babies born to women over the age of 35 have a 10 in 1 chance of a defect from downs syndrome to heart defect. This is goal your wife has is not something for her to acheive easily. Not to mention if something happens to you, she is not working, and ya'll have a disabled kid where is the money going to come from to support and raise this baby. To be quite honest she shoulda had a baby 8 years ago but she has waited too long, god forbid she had a baby and die in child birth you would not be able to step in to the role of full time parent at your age and condition. If she is that dead set that its baby or im leaving ask her if she leaves how does she plan to support herself and a baby with no job why does she have an MBA if it collects dust. Just talk to her research the risks and show her its not good and no fair if she persists on a baby then go talk to a therapist to get some help. These are the only things I can tell you and I feel for what you are going thru best of luck with you and your lady. Hope I could help.

Answer 3

If you have doubts in your ability to raise a child and provide for it then you should NOT have a baby. From what i have read your thoughts and feelings are justified. It's understandable that your wife wants a child though. She probably feels she can fill whatever void would be lacking through your diablities in the child raising. It would give her something after you are gone. It's a very hard decision. I would say that you need to work on strengthing your relationship and working out problems BEFORE bringing another person into the situation. You could always become foster parents...for kids that need a home for short times while there parents get on there feet. This probably won't be what your wife wants but its an option. Good luck to you

Answer 4

Well this is one of those prime examples as to why age difference at this level is not a good ideal.

The answer to your question only lies with-in your personal feelings on the subject and can only be made by you.

However I would say I would not be forced to bring another child in this world if I truly did not want to. Giving someone a ultimatum is wrong especially in a case like this....but that my opinion.

Do what you think is right and Good luck to you

Answer 5

hi sounds tuff! But i have to agree with you. If you feel that strongly about not having a baby (and for very good reason!) then you shouldnt. That baby will need a father figure and when your gone who will do this? No offense but most men your age are grandpa's ;) not being brand new daddies..how can she expect you to help her chase a toddler around?!!? Let alone pay for everything.....enjoy your retirement! As for the her leaving you......if thats the only reason she is with you then you have problems.......try talking to her abou the future of the child and hers......who is going to take care of the money issues when your gone???

Answer 6

definitely take this to a marriage therapist. hopefully he or she will be able to help you out. if that fails, get some money together to find a lawyer and end the marriage. whether or not a couple wants children is a very important factor in determining its compatibility. obviously, you two do NOT see eye to eye in this area. hopefully your wife will find someone who wants to give her children, even though at her age, she will have an increased risk at giving birth to a child with a birth defect. good luck.

Answer 7

Research as much as you can about the fact that women at her age have a significantly increased risk to birth children with genetic disorders and share with her that information. Explain to her how difficult it would be to not only raise a child at your age but have to cope with a child with a disability or disorder.

Answer 8

Maybe you should leave her, otherwise you will be responsible if somehow she does get pregs.

Otherwise get counseling before you even consider it. It does not sound like she would be a good parent and you are a bit old to be sure you can care for a child for the next 18 years.

Answer 9

I'd say Hasta la vista, baby. Sorry to be so blunt but that is total insanity. The last thing that a person in your age group (I am one) needs is to start over again when you should be kicked back enjoying your "Golden" years. Best of Luck to You.

Answer 10

I suggest going and seeing a counselor so both of you can get your thoughts out on the subject in a rational manner. If you are not wanting kids then she needs to respect that.