my guest list?

Question

Ok im gonna be sending out Save the date magnets by like next week or so. My guest list is already over and im sure theres quite a few people wont come becasue they live out of state. Soooo i ws thinking in the envelope i would put in a little note saying somehting along the lines of "if you already know you wont be able to make it please call us asap due to limited number of guests were able to invite and more wanted to invite." Do you think that is rude to do or no? If not, can you help me with some appropriate wording for this?!?!? PLeasseeeee! Thanks

Answer 1

I think that there really isn't a polite way to do it.

If they are out-of-state and you are on very close terms with them - just call and ask if they think they will be coming or not?

Or for out of town guests, you could ask for advance RSVP under the excuse of being able to coordinate what type of arrangements they will need (how many hotel rooms to reserve,etc.) Then you'll know.

BUT DO NOT SAY IT IS SO YOU CAN INVITE OTHER PEOPLE! NOT IN WRITING - NOT ON THE PHONE!

If you aren't on close eonugh terms with them to call and ask like that, chances are 90% they won't come anyway - so consider them a courtesy invitation and don't count them in your numbers (and pray they don't come).

Or don't invite them at all, and just send an announcement after you are married. That way they won't feel badly that they can't come - or even slightly offended that you've invited them to a wedding that they know you won't really be able to come to.

Good Luck

Answer 2

Just put a reply by date on the STD magnets. If that isnt how you would like to do it, make sure you send out the invites a bit earlier than normal with a response date sooner than not to those who live far away. That way you can invite more if need be.

I would use the advance notice invites to those who are coming from far away, as those are the ones most likely to decline an invite. But dont put a note in the magnet that says that. By saying if you dont come i am inviting someone else sounds a bit rude.

As far as weddings and invites go- you can bet at 2-4 out of 10 wont come- and that is being nice in some cases. So you have a margin of error no matter how many you send out. If you want 125 guests- i have heard you send out 150-175 invites (i wouldnt do it because just my luck they would ALL show up...lol)

Answer 3

Send your save the dates to only the people you will be inviting with yor first batch of invitations.
You will be getting too risky by sending out to all you want to invite because people will be on the look out for an invite and will feel slighted if they dont then recieve one.

I know alot of people do the A list and then the B list, but you can only do that with the invites. Save the Dates are not invitations, they are save the dates, you cant ask for an RSVP for a save the date.

Keep the Save the dates for your A listers, regardless of whether or not you know they wont come (believe me you will be surprised of who will come even if its out of state) The B listers will just have to get an invite once your RSVP cards you send out with the invites start coming back. Just remember to send out the A list invites a bit more early so you give the B listers enough time to make arrangements.

Answer 4

I feel that you shouldn't ask people to rsvp with the save the date card, only with the actual invitation. If you send out your invites early enough and put a deadline on when they need to be back to you, you should have enough time to invite wave 2.

Wedding planners suggest having Group A invitees and Group B. Group A HAS to receive an invite (close family members, for example) and Group B is people you'd like to invite if there's room (like co-workers.)

Answer 5

It's so unappropriate to do anything like that. It's your fault that you invited too many guests so you need to prepare for that. Otherwise, I would only send the save the date magnets to the people that you're sure will definitely attend or if you must send it to all the invitees, add a note saying "please don't forget to rsvp by ____" and pray to God that some people will forget to rsvp by the deadline.

Answer 6

That's incredibly tacky. Make a definitive decision who you are going to invite or not invite and stick to it. You probably have a pretty good idea who could conceivably come or not so you can figure that into your plans. Don't forget that 16-20% of invitees won't attend anyway.

Answer 7

Don't do it. Send out invitations to those whom you wish to celebrate with you, and announcements to those whom you simply want to know about your wedding. I had a small wedding, only 10 guests, but I sent out 250 announcements.
don't worry, presents come just as much with an announcement as they do with an invitation.
Best of luck to you both.

Answer 8

Where did you find STD magnets?
Please add that in your details!

I would just say :
If you already know you wont be able to attend please contact us as soon as you can.
Thanks.

A little better than"if you already know you wont be able to make it please call us asap due to limited number of guests were able to invite and more wanted to invite."
I don't think that they need to know all of that.
What they don't know won't hurt em!

Answer 9

if i got a save the date magnet with that message attached i'd pitch it and forget about it. if you send that it would be very rude, and you never know who will make the trek out to see you. i've suprised a few friends by showing up to their out of state wedding.

Answer 10

About 25% will be a no show, but that's only an average. Everyone you invite might accept. Invite who your budget will allow.
Don't include an ultimatium.