Are kids more out of control then ever?

Question

Is it just me or are all kids pretty much spoiled rotten brats now days?
I look all around me and i see kids swearing at their parents,hitting and kicking, wrecking peoples property and just disrespectful tords anything and everyone. If a word is even mention about how shocking the behavior is to the parents, the parents defend and make excuess for the behavior. why cant they just accept the fact their child is doing wrong and correct it? is it really that hard?
What happen to pride and manners?
What is in store for these kids future?


Yes i am a mother
No i dont have behavior issues with my kids
No i dont "beat them"

Please note....I will read everyones thoughts on this so if you have something to say go for it!

Answer 1

YES YES AND YES! You are completely right, I am always saying and seeing this. I worked in a daycare for a 1 and a half. I saw children as young as 2 doing this. No kid is a perfect angel but it's getting out of control. I wouldn't have even THOUGHT about doing stuff like that to my mom when I was younger or even now. I was never beaten as a child but I sure got a belt across my butt if I was acting up (and I only remember getting that twice) the rest of the time I got "the look" and that was enough to stop me from doing whatever it is I was doing wrong. I knew the difference between what was acceptable and what wasn't, but then again my mom is old-fashioned (raised in the 50's and graduated in 1969) and already had a 18 yr old daughter when I was born. I was with her shopping one day and saw a five yr old boy carrying on and screaming bloody murder in Wal-Mart and I asked her if I, or any of my cousins my age, ever acted like that, she just looked at me and said "NO way, you knew better."
What will probably happen to these kids is they will grow up, having no consquences for their actions and hurt someone and end up and jail and wonder why, why? because their momma and daddy never put a belt across their butt when they needed it. Some parents today grew up either having bad expriences with physical discipline or have grown up with people shouting "abuse" and have no idea how to discipline their children. Time-outs and grounding sometimes work, but sometimes they don't or only work for so long. Parents try to make their children happy all the time, if you discipline them they might be made for a while, but the children will be much happier as adults if you show them both love and discipline. The worst cause of this I've ever seen was a 11yr old boy (who was too old and too big to be in daycare in the first place) who was partially deaf. He was #2 of 5 with a single mom and ALWAYS acted up espically towards his siblings. Once he took a football and stood about 3 ft from his 9yr old sister and threw it as hard as he could and hit her in the head with it. His mom did NOTHING to him, she didn't even know about it untill I said something to her because she walked in about 3 secounds after it happend. All she did was threaten to take his swimming privilges (they had a pool) away. Once he did something and she smacked him over the head but that was the only time I saw her do anything besides tell him his actions were bad and he was 11! I can't imagine what will happen when he is 20 and still doing stuff like that. Our clueless Area Manager was like "oh well he doesn't understand" BULL. He use to look at us before he did something wrong and do it anyway. He knew it was wrong but the only thing we could do was sit him down for 11 mintues and tell his mom. He still did it the next day. Sometimes (not all the time) kids with mild disablities are allowed to get away with everything and it leaves their siblings and other kids feeling like the kids with disablities to get special priviliges. Their was nothing wrong with him except he was a spoiled brat. Another example with this particular child is that we had a hamster or something and he swung it around by his tail and the tail riped and it started bleeding, he felt no remorse whatsoever. I told his mom and he started signing and making all these excuses and his mom was like oh whatever. I was appalled. My boyfriend grew up with a mom and a dad, from the time he was 4 he threatened to call DHS (like CPS) if she spanked him. Later when his parents seperated (in his teens) his dad abused him and threw him up against the wall, he called DHS and they refused to do anything about it. So he was never really disciplined and it carried over into adulthood, he never broke the law or anything but agrees that children need a good butt whipping sometimes and that he should of had one when he was younger.

Answer 2

yes, i totally agree with you. I am a healthcare professional. I see this to be true more and more. Children are not told what to do anymore, but the parent ask"Do you want to to get your shots today, Do you want to get this blood test done, etc. No, No and No. Parents should stand firm, not ask the question do you want?, but we are going to...Parents are not confident in their parenting skills today. Parents will say "Where do you want to to go out and eat at? No,,,Who is paying, who is the parent...It's sad, children can't problem solve. They get very impatient if they can't figure out how to do something other than play with the ipod, or play on the cell phone, or the gameboy. All of these gadgets seem more like an appendage that something they should earn and work for. The parenting skills of today are creating horrible adults. Most of the children I see, they are lazy, they are over weight, and parents are continuing to give them their way. Scary to think that this generation is the ones that will be "taking care of us" as we grow old.

Answer 3

It is because the schools have taught our children that they have more rights then we do. Discipline works differently with every child. I do not agree with child abuse but every now and then they need a good swat to correct things. But if you do that and the child says you did that automatically the school thinks your beating them. Then if the child does something wrong at school or outside you are held accountable for it. We have to stop spending all our money on buying them every new electronic gadget, name brand clothes, cars and jewelry and spend more time with them. Most of us have both parents working to support the family and forget that the children Need that time with us. So even if it's 1 hour a day having a conversation about what interests them or taking them out on you day off, it really betters the relationship between parent and child and lets them know that they are loved, respected, and important so they don't have to lash out in negative ways for attention.

Answer 4

I know what you mean. I think the problem is that parents are afraid to discipline their kids in public for fear of doing something that another parent is against and getting reported for abuse even if there isn't any and kids pick up on that and take advantage of it. For myself, being a mother of a soon to be 4 year old as well as a 6 year old who thinks she's 16, I don't care who's around, if they act out in any way that is not acceptable, they will hear about it and get disciplined. And no, I don't "beat" mine either.

Answer 5

Of course you are right. The moral fabric of our society is slowly but surely being ripped to shreds and the children of today are the byproduct of a generation of instant gratification.

There is a delusional belief that everything is ok with the kids and we are overreacting. No, I don't think it is over reacting. I just know what kids consider a necessity today, we never even heard of when we were kids.

And don't get me wrong, I know progress always brings these problems, but to ignore the obvious is not productive and the society as a whole suffers.

The disrespect and the violence only is the sympton not the problem.

I think you are right in your assessment.

Answer 6

I think that there are too many parents who want to be friends instead of parents. Yes, I think it's important for you to know your children and have good relationships with them. However, some people don't realize that children are a responsibility and take work and focus. It takes courage to follow through with your children. I have left a cart full of the weeks groceries sitting in a store because my children were told that if they didn't stop being loud, we would leave. It doesn't take beating the spirit out of your children, it just takes the patience to repeatedly show them what is right and what is wrong.

Now if I could just get my kids (3&5) to say "Yes, ma'am" instead of "Yes, sir" to me,,,

Answer 7

Parents now are more likely to not mean what they say then to do something about not being complied to. I don't think that is the fault of the child as much as the lazy parents. You don't have to beat your child for them to respect you, and respect is what it takes for the child to have good behavior. Problems with autority and accepting rejection are in the childs future for sure, also a lack of self discipline will cause numerous other problems for the child turned adult.

Answer 8

Because no matter what you do to raise your child proporly, it is always some sort of abuse, there is abuse for everything nowadays! People today don't even really know the true meaning of abuse and that p!sses me off.
A child being "spanked" for wrong doing isn't abuse! A child being put in time-out or having privelages taken away isn't abuse.
I grew up with the real term of abuse!!!! You know what, i'm a good mother and it hasen't made me angry or bitter, my children are so incredibly well behaved in public. People always comment on how good they are that usually kids are scareming. We never had to spank our daughters or ask them to mind, they just are this way and well behaved. But they are only 2 and 10 months.

There was a story last year that a man was walking through town with his son. His son was cussing, spitting and being incredibly rude and naughty, he was 8 years old. People were shaking their heads and tutting, so the dad picked the boy up and spanked his butt to get his attention and asked him to calm down that they were going home. A local store clerk saw this, called the police, the police sided with "abuse" the man was arersted and his son taken to CPS - now that is by far absaloutly rediculous!

The day my child steps way out of line and i spank her and we end up in court, i'll tell that judge to raise her and see if he can control that behavior without spanking.
People do cross the line with spanking, and unfortunatly children do get beat - but a swat on the butt or on the hand isn't wrong! That isn't abuse or neglect.
Kids are very out of control today. I don't see much respect anymore, kids walk into schools and shoot people, get drunk on school premesis, drugs are at an all time high - makes me very afraid to send my babies out in the world.
The good thing about my husbands family and my family though and a couple of great neighbors, my children will hopefully know better than to step out of the line. I never want to p!ss of my husband or his family lol, they are hardcore rednecks, my family have incredibly strong morals and strict ways of upbringing but you also always feel the love from both families so i hope, because so far none of my in-laws kids have steped out of line and are all incredibly respectful, i hope my kids will learn from their elders and cousins to do right, thankfully, my 2y/o has done incredibly well, at saying please, thank you, sorry and is very generous - i hope this continues and we can keep them on the good path. The town we live in is very nice, the people are pleasent and so are the kids, but high school still terrifies me for them!

Answer 9

I agree. But remember NOT ALL kids are like this.....there are still parents out there who teach their kids respect, hard work etc. They are just rare. I know for one that my child WILL not be allowed to act that way and will know its unnacceptable.
I think more and more the parents are too worried about being thier kids friend than being thier parent.....
theres been so many times i have been in a grocery store and the kid wants something, mom says no, kids throws a HUGE FIT and because the mom is imbarressed she gives in and lets em have it....HUGE MISTAKE> Smack your kids butt or scoop them up put them in the cart let them cry and take care of it in the car.

Answer 10

Lack of discipline in my opinion. I have 3 kids- and no i dont spank them. I dont think it is necessary to smack your kids all the time, and I am not against occasional spankings. I just refuse to have a bad child and all my kids know that.

I have expectations and when they dont meet them there are consequences for that behavior from losing priveleges to all out punishments. And yes- i have spanked them in the past (not very often- usually my tone of voice or eyes cleared the bad behavior up right away). My children know how to act in public and know how to respect me (which ties hand in hand to behavior outside of the house as well!)

My other theory is that i REFUSE to negotiate with my children. Under no circumstances will you ever here "Johnny if you listen and behave nicely you get some candy" or anything else of that sort. If you decide to put your hands on me in any violent manner you will be prepared to get the best butt kicking ever (once again- i dont hit my children but you HAVE to draw a line somewhere). you also may not swear at me.

I make my children work for the fun things ( i throw in freebies ever so often) and they respect what they have. They also have learned to respect others. I think that kids who are given everything and are not expected to earn it have no problem ruining the stuff because their parents will just run out and replace it.

I have 3 great kids. They are all polite, well mannered, respectful, get good grades and love me. It all has to do with positive parenting.

I say- if you are in a store and Johnny acts up- dont give in. I remember when i was growing up if you even LOOKED like you were going to act up you got a swift swat to the bottom. If you even LOOKED like you were going to swear you got you mouth smacked. And if you ever, ever in your life decided you were grown enough to raise your hand to your mother- you would have 5 male figures in the family taking you out back to beat you (that is if your mom didnt catch you first)

I saw this lady out once with her kids and her son- who couldnt have been more than 8 or 9 was swearing at her calling her a fat @ss because she wouldnt buy him a toy. He was yelling and carrying on like he lost him darn mind! and she just stood there!!! Now me- i dont care who was around. I would have laid his little butt out and walked away from him.. And NO i dont care if someone would have called the law because i feel if your child is that unruly he needs not to be with you.

another thing before i go is that today children are being taught in school that spankingas are abuse- they aer being told to call 911 if they get in trouble. Most parents fear going to jail so they dont do anything.

In my house- they all know that if you call the law on me- best believe that by the time they got you- there would really be a reason for them to be there. So it has never happened....