Why is he so jealous?

Question

I have a problem.
I've been going with this guy for 3 months now.
I love him a whole lot and he loves me too. He told me so and I trust and believe what he says.
The thing is, he thinks I'm cheating on him and I'm not.
He won't believe me though. Every time I talk to him he thinks I was just on the phone with some other guy. I don't know what to do anymore. He's getting me really frustrated.
I love him with all my heart.
I'm eighteen and he's twenty.

Answer 1

You know, normally I'd say ask him if there's anything you could do to put his mind at ease and demonstrate how important he is to you.

But I think this one's beyond that. If he was getting upset because he HEARD you talking to other friend-boys on the phone, that'd be one thing, but to always think that you are constantly talking to other men behind his back? That's well beyond reasonable, and also well beyond acceptably unreasonable.

It's ultimatum time: "Honey, I'm sorry you feel the way you do, but I think those feelings are unfounded and unreasonable. And I don't think there's anything I could reasonably do that would actually make those fears go away. Being around you 24/7 isn't an option, and you'd probably accuse me of sneaking other guys into the bathroom or something anyway. If you want to have a relationship with me, you need to get help with your trust issues. Either you see a shrink, or you stop seeing me. Your choice."

Answer 2

He is a control freak stay away from him . He sounds like he may end up being a stalker too . Please be carefull and if you are that upset right at the begining of the friendship think how upset you will be later on. Forget him and move on . He does not sound like someone you want to be with . You need someone who will trust you . good luck.

Answer 3

As a jealous partner and abuser myself I can tell you that it's just about hopeless. I am getting much therapy and counseling and doing much directed work in the area of anger and jealousy and abuse, but still it's very hard. My partner had to leave and I see why now. I am sick and it would get worse and worse until something very tragic happened.

Leave, get out. You can't win this one. Absolutely it will get worse not better.

Answer 4

I sugest that you run, not walk, away from this man. People who are insanely jealous tend to become very abusive. This kind of insecurity in a person tends not to get better, especially if there has been no experience with you which could lead a normal person to this conclusion.

Answer 5

First of all when someone is jealous it's usually because they are insecure with themselves. The other sign is that he may be cheating on you and in order for him to feel better about what he is doing he makes you feel guilty about it. If he truly loves you, then he would not feel insecure and make you feel so guilty. When you love someone you love that person for who they are and fully trust that person.

Answer 6

My ex was the same way....ended up getting a divorce over it cuz I just couldn't stand all the accusations and the arguments. Of course there were some other issues but that was the main one!

Answer 7

usually when a guy is like that, is because he has a hidden agenda. The next time he acts like that, ask him if he feels that way becuase that's something he would do? Tell him also that if he loves he will trust you. if there is no trust, there is nothing. Remember that.

Answer 8

be careful...he may be a control freak and could be headed towards verbal abuse.....take it slow

Answer 9

He's insecure.

Answer 10

leave him