He pushes his little brother down all the time, pinches, hits, throws things, yells, and just runs around like a madman. I've tried everything. time outs don't work for him. I hate spanking, but I've done it. I've even screamed at him to scare him out of hurting his brother. I know, that was just stupid of me. How can I get through to him. I took his cars away after he hit his brother with them. He was good for the next day, but then it was back to being crazy again. Any suggestions? I'm pulling my hair out!
2007-01-11 04:46:30 · 13 answers · asked by nicole 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Make a set of rules to follow and set consequences if they aren't followed. The rules should be "do" rules rather than 'don't'.
For example, Be nice, Use a quiet voice, Nice hands give hugs and pats on the back, Nice feet are walking feet........If they have mean feet, hands, or voices then no cookie at the end of the day or whatever is of value to the child.
Set some time aside each day for the first week or so and then weekly afterwards to play the rules game. Ask each child as well as dad and mom to sit down and each person can draw a 'rule' from a hat. If dad gets walking feet he can walk around the house with nice feet. When nice hands is pulled the person can either clean up a mess that's in the house or give someone a hug, etc. You can end each game with everyone completing this sentence "I like it when,......." *I like it when Tommy picks up his toys, or When Sally gives me a big hug*
Give the child alternatives, when you're angry go to your room or sit on the couch and hit a pillow or put your face in the pillow and scream or bite the pillow. Whatever you're okay with.
Let them know that it's okay to be angry but it's not okay to hurt anyone, or something that is special to someone else.
2007-01-11 07:14:50 · answer #1 · answered by momoftwo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been sort of going through the same thing with my son (he's now 3). He picked a lot of his anger up at daycare though, other kids did it to him so now he does it back. They want him sent to a behavioral specialist but I am not sending him. He has calmed down a lot in the past 1 1/2 months but he is still a wild child at times. When we put him in time out we have to hold him on our laps. I raise my voice sometimes too and then I feel bad, but sometimes when you are at your whits end you just don't know what else to do. I just keep talking to him and repeating to him how hitting, throwing things and being mean is wrong. I don't believe in spanking. We do take toys and movies away and stuff like that as punishment (it has helped). I wish I could give you an answer to fix it, just hang in there and keep trying. Good Luck.
2007-01-11 14:28:01 · answer #2 · answered by nahimana34 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Taking things away from him will not work he is too young to understand it. Please don't scream at him or spank him. you are just teaching him that hitting is ok. He is just looking for attention from you ..so try and spend some time with just the two of you together.I know he seems so much older to you because you have another baby but he is still a baby too. I have a 2 1/2 year old and an 8 1/2 month old both boys and my 2 1/2 year old starts to act up and get wild but it's only because he needs more attention. It wasn't that long ago that he was your only baby. Just be consistent we have been giving our son time outs and we make him sit for only 2 1/2 minutes and no longer than 3 minutes because he is just a baby It should be one minute for every year old they are. Some days my son is in that time out corner 15 times a day and sometimes maybe one or two. But just be consistent you don't have to scream at him, believe me i totally understand you frustration it is really hard sometimes not to lose it. But it will get better he is just still a baby too and try and remember that sweetie. my best to you good luck.
momof4
2007-01-11 13:03:34 · answer #3 · answered by mary3127 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When he pinches or hits or pulls hair, do the same to him so he can realize that it hurts people when he does that. For everything else, if time outs are not working, maybe he needs to be spanked more consistently until he behaves better. And every time he does behave, you need to reward him, give him some of his toys back or a piece of candy once in a while.
Good luck to you, l know this is a though age.
2007-01-11 13:15:29 · answer #4 · answered by amarilysusa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just like everyone else said you have to be consistent. Spanking is ok, just remember you don't have to do it real hard to get his attention. He is only 2 1/2 just like my son and my hubby and I both have had to spank him. You don't mention his father, but he should be helping to discipline him also. You cant let his behavior slide or it will only get worse. Try taking his toys away again, it will take more than once or twice or even three times to get his attention but it will work. They will have relapses, just remember that you are the mom and you must take control so that they can control themselves when they grow up and leave home. Good Luck and don't forget to take a bubble bath or something every now and then.
2007-01-11 13:43:00 · answer #5 · answered by sunshine_rae 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Consistancy is the key. You have to put him in time out EVERY time he hits, yells, pushes. Make him stay there for 2 mins at least. Explain to him...don't yell...why he is going to time out and when you let him up make him apologize to whoever he did it to. I promise if you be consistant with him it will eventually work. Two-year-olds have a very hard time communicating what they want. They want it immediately and have no patience. It takes time and patience on your part. Praise him when he does play well.
2007-01-11 12:57:36 · answer #6 · answered by texas_gurl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He just wants attention, you have to try to ignore it until he begins to hurt other people. Make sure whatever way you punish him you remain consistent. If you tell him he'll be in timeout for 15 minutes, don't take him out after 5 or 10 min.
2007-01-11 12:52:04 · answer #7 · answered by brittneyisacracker 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you had him tested for asperger's syndrom? Kids that have it do very poorly at interpersonal stuff. There are therapies you can try if that's it.
In the mean time, I'd confine him to a playpen to protect your younger child whenever he seems to be getting out of hand. Let him have his toys and/or watch TV while he's in there, but stress that he can't come out until he stops hurting his brother.
2007-01-11 12:57:57 · answer #8 · answered by Queen of Cards 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Nothing like a good old fashioned spanking to bring things back to order.
2007-01-11 12:55:05 · answer #9 · answered by gaban24 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when he is good, reward him. set up a star system with a chart on the fridge where he can see. everyday he's good (doesn't beat up his brother, etc), give him a star. tell him when he gets a certain number of stars, he can get something he wants (a bike or a new toy or whatever). everyday he's bad, take a star away.
2007-01-11 12:52:23 · answer #10 · answered by dixiegirl687 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋