me and my bf have been together for almost 3yrs now, he started acting this way about a yr ago and its been getting worse and worse.. he made me stop talking to most of my friends, i absolutely cannot have any guy friends, and is constantly getting jealous about every little small thing.. there has even been times where hes choked me, and hit me and he always cries after he does it saying he is sorry.i know i need to leave him the question is HOW?ive tried talking to him already so many times and im just very scared of the way he reacts.. he threatens me everytime i leave him.. im embarassed to talk it over with someone, what do ya'll suggest??
2007-01-11 04:30:52 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Go to the police immediately. He has committed felony assault and battery against you. Most likely you will not be able to get rid of him short of a restraining order and/or jail time. Even if you did manage to escape his clutches you will only be leaving him free to abuse other women in the future.
You may still care for him, and if you do, it is all the more reason to go to the police. He is clearly not in a place to seek the help he needs on his own so let a judge order him to. This is his only chance to someday become a healthy stable adult. If you don't take action immediately you will be sacrificing both of your futures.
I hope you don't take my urgency as being harsh. I've volunteered with a local organization that helps battered women, and I need to say from experience that there is only one way out of this hellish cycle and that is to report him to the police immediately. If you're worried he might find out you reported him and take revenge on you go directly to the police station or go to the house a good friend who you can trust - someone who has no loyalty to your boyfriend and preferably someone whose location your boyfriend doesn't know.
If you need help summoning the courage to act call the national domestic violence hotline (1-800-799-SAFE (7233)), or if you find your local police unresponsive - which unfortunately occasionally happens - try the US Department of Justice's Battered Women's Justice Project at 1-800-903-0111. There are many talented and caring people ready to help, but you have to take the first step. Remember, the action you take can not only help you escape abuse, but it will contribute to ending the rampant abuse across this nation.
2007-01-11 05:04:16 · answer #1 · answered by du_robot 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out of there and away from him immediately. His behavior is only going to get worse. It won't belong before the choking progresses to more serious problems(like using a weapon, for example). The best time to leave him would be at while he isn't home(like at work). Set up a ride and/or a meet-up point with a women's shelter or a friend if you can, take your cell phone with you, and never look back. If you have family around, keep in touch but don't go to their places as he may try to intercept you there.
2007-01-11 04:39:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two steps I would suggest:
1) Go to your local police and ask their advice. By doing so, you have also documented your abuse which should be on record should things turn for the worse after you go to step 2.
2) Dump the guy. Be firm and direct, and very short. Do not fall into the trap of listening to his beggings, or having an argument that seems it just won't end, because it won't. If you fall into that trap, he still has control of you. Having another friend close by within eyesight is also a good idea.
2007-01-11 04:42:26 · answer #3 · answered by G T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just walk away. I know its hard but if you don not leave together... I really hope you don't. Just tell him its over. I can't be with someone who hurts me emotionally & physically I deserve better & then walk away. Bring someone with you so that they can have a car waiting outside after your talk is done and you can just leave. You will need someone for moral support as well. I know he scares you but think of how scared you will be when you end up in the hospital and he is still crying Saying I'm sorry.
2007-01-11 04:37:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, that sounds really scary. You may need to relocate to a place where he wouldn't expect you to go. Do you have any friends or family (that he doesn't know about) that have moved away that would let you crash with them until you get on your feet? Make the plans, and while he's out, just take off. Leave him a note saying why you left, but DO NOT tell him where you went.
2007-01-11 04:44:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get out now. I know that sometimes it is more scary leaving than staying, but you have to find away. You may need to move and not tell anyone where you are going. Or if you have any family or friends who are supportive maybe you can move in with them for awhile. You need to do whatever you have to get away before there are any kids involved. He will only get worse. Be strong and if you don't have anyone around you to help & support you contact a local battered women's shelter.
2007-01-11 04:35:51 · answer #6 · answered by Nunya 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are more scared of dying if you stay how do you know that your situation will not end up with you in a coffin you have to leave it's not worth it to stay. Tell him to go see a therapist and if or when he gets his act together may you and he could work things out but for now you need to think about yourself and not him
2007-01-11 04:36:20 · answer #7 · answered by Spacious 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sweetheart, first of all, does he or his family have a history of mental illness. Because, he might have initial symptoms of mental illness. Second pumpkin, you tell your friends and family about how bad things have gone with your bf, this is just in case he does something wrong to your being. Third, before you leave his loser asss, have a restraint order ready. Fourth, do not look back and take his call, he needs to find himself and you will not help by talking cupcakes.
2007-01-11 04:49:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
contained in the destiny, over-jealous boyfriends like the only you defined is going to reason an excellent type of trouble. Being that jealous basically proves that he's low on self-worth and untrusting of you. it truly is okay to be jealous, yet once you've been forced to flow to the quantity of cancelling your account basically to evade your boyfriend from growing jealous - nicely, if I were on your footwear i might want to locate some different person that is more effective open minded and trusting.
2016-12-29 03:16:16 · answer #9 · answered by jeanie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
getout NOW!! you'll regret it if you don't. If you haven't cheated on him thant chances are he's cheating on you. When people cheat they get very suspicious of their spouse...i guess they figure if they have gotten away with it, then maybe you could be too. Why live this way? There is so much better out there. Go to a shelter, get a restraining order or getout of town. Do what you have to do to be safe.
2007-01-11 04:38:41 · answer #10 · answered by pandora13 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋