My boyfriend and I recently broke up and not because of anything that either of us did. Our parents don't get along and it was starting to cause problems and was going to cause more problems if the relationship continued. We both love each other and this is hard on both of us. He is handling it much better than I am. We are both adults and our parents shouldn't be a factor but there is nothing that can be done especially since he is very close with his parents. We have known each other for 10 years prior to dating. Is it a bad idea for us to remain friends? Another ex and I are great friends and he's married now and it worked out fine. We want to be together but we know it can't work out because neither family is going to accept it. What should I do in this situation?
2007-01-11 04:06:02 · 7 answers · asked by 3262m 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You're right this is a very bad situation. Would the to of you being friends be ideal for you? If you really want to be with him and he now finds himself dating someone else would that bother you? It's too bad that you and him can't exclude your parents from your personal life and be together as you'd like to be. I'm sure that if you and him showed your parents that you love and want to be together they'd eventually accept it. What's the worse they'd do? Disown you? If that's the case then why would you want to deal with them anyway? You say you're both adults then you need to approach both sets of parents and let them know that what they're doing is really hurting you. You approach his parents with him and he approach yours with you. You can still be together just don't have family functions where both sets of family has to be around one another. If it comes down to you and him being married then you elope or do the justice of the peace and let your families know that this is what you're doing and it's being done this way because they won't accept others therefore they miss out.
2007-01-11 04:16:25 · answer #1 · answered by Pisces Princess 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1
2016-05-07 21:38:43 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you read the It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy by Greg Behrendt, Amiira Ruotola-Behrendt?? If not, it gives some excellent ideas that have helped me .... It just so happened that two of my best friends and myself had all broken up with our guys kind of around the same period of time...so this is based on our experiences.
To be friends with an ex RIGHT AWAY is way hard...you two still have romantic feelings towards each other, probably...and to just "be friends" without the same touching, the flirting, the same way of talking is just incredibly hard. My friend took the book's advice and did the no contact for 60 days or more...it worked wonders for her. By giving your ex and yourself space and time, you can lose that feeling for him because you won't be seeing/hearing from him for a while. As much as it sucks at first, it's kind of really hard to just transition from boyfriend/girlfriend to just friends.
My ex and I tried to remain friends straight away...and what happened? We ended up talking in the same way, acting like we were dating still, etc...Finally we talked about it and it was AWFUL...like a second breakup!!! We took about 2 months of space from each other - no contact whatsoever...
Now, we talk almost every night. Now, that might be dangerous if either of us still had feelings for each other but that is not the case.
BOTTOM LINE: Give yourself and the guy some space for a while...
2007-01-11 04:13:54 · answer #3 · answered by Shanny 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you're literally not in love with him, trust, you look like you're literally not bodily attracted to him. i imagine you're basically a touch jealous of the particular incontrovertible fact that there's a lady who's "obsessed" with him. like you've suggested earlier, he did lose his virginity to you and for some reason that has outcomes on jealous thoughts- not love. that's for particular, you've understand him for thus long and that i imagine that's purely a "we've carried out almost each and everything mutually to three extent the position i changed into the first human being who he has surely carried out each and everything with and impulsively some next obsessive, un-attracted new lady comes into his existence.” It’s surely only a marvel and that i imagine you should stop hooking up with him and discover yet another guy. I comprehend totally what you propose and it isn't LOVE. That’s precisely what i presumed- i changed into incorrect. It’s surely going to be demanding to flow on; no doubt about that, yet you want to. someplace deep interior he feels the very similar way as you do, yet he’s transferring on, precise?
2016-12-02 03:17:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you were friends first and it's a mutual split, I think you could still be friends. I also think you guys are really weak and immature to let your parents dictate what you do with your lives.
2007-01-11 04:11:30 · answer #5 · answered by Rairia 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i would try
and im sorry for your lost..i really dearly hope that you get over this and the pain isnt to much or wears away with time xx
2007-01-11 04:12:59 · answer #6 · answered by tinkerbell 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think u shld agree to what ur family says n respect their decision n juss be friends with ur boyfriend
2007-01-11 04:13:55 · answer #7 · answered by karman 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋