what do you do when being a good parent just isnt good enough?

Question

Ok here it is I have a 6 yr old with uncontrollable asthma as of right now. He is in the process of being diagnosed with possible ADHD and or Bipolor. Right now he is on flovent, cingular, albuterol, and now orepred. And for anyone that knows about orepred oh my god he is out of control. You know everyone puts there opinion about meds and there is no such thing as adhd hmm for that matter children dont get asthma either or any other type of illness. So what do you think about a child that comes from a happy home that says I want to kill my self, Hurting children, animals, throwing objects, Cant sit still long enough to get there nails clipped. So is it me? Am I a bad parent because i think he needs help? I feel he is going to hurt someone or himself if I dont get him help but people say it is a parenting issue. Its funny because my 12 yr old is an honor roll student and I dont have to say boo to her she knows our rules and abides by them.
any advice would be great

Yes I am married to his father and work part time so i am home with him all week. Those meds are the only thing helping him breath right now. And when he is not on the meds he is the same way the orepred only makes it a bit worst.

He is in his 9 week of ice skateing/hockey lessons, and we go to family skate once a week, We take him indoor rock climbing, and even tried karate but it proved he couldn't handle it because of the rules.

Answer 1

You are a good parent for not sticking your head in the sand and for seeing he needs help. Bipolar, ADHD...these are neurological disorders. Anyone who says otherwise is not speaking from an educated point of view. There is normal kid stuff, but the symptoms of these disorders are for more intense and chronic than that. When something is really wrong, you really know something is wrong. Anybody who has not been there can not understand.

Answer 2

I'm so sorry that you're going through this. No you are NOT a bad parent, you want what's best for your child and are under a terrible amount of stress right now. Try not to listen to people who don't know what they're talking about and stick with listening to your child's doctors.

You're right, there are people who say that certain disorders don't exist but those are the people who never actually lived with those disorders and believe me, if they did they would change their minds very quickly. I was wondering if your child has also been evaluated for Reactive Attachment Disorder? Just wondering because some of the things you describe sounds like it, but honestly that's something that's up to a professional to diagnose.

Aside from your child getting treatment I hope that you find some kind of support system for yourself so that you can deal with your own stresses. Maybe a parent support group or something like that. The NAMI website also has a lot of information if you're interested. They also have support resources such as online communities and list of local support groups. http://www.nami.org/

Take care and I hope things begin to improve soon for your child and your whole family.

Answer 3

My son is diagnosed bipolar, I know how difficult this process is. I had the same concerns about how I was as a parent and if I did something wrong. My sons doctors assured me that this is beyond parenting. If your son is diagnosed with bipolar just know that that is caused by a chemical imbalance not poor parenting techniques. You are making a great decision as a parent to try to get to the root of this problem (esp if your child is suicidal and hurting animals and others. If your son is diagnosed with bipolar you will be surprised what the correct meds can do. It will probably be a trial and error process for a while (to ensure the correct med and dosage.) But it is worth it. Early intervention with bipolar is so important!
Don't worry about other peoples opinions. My family is not to pleased with the decisions I made involving my sons mental health. But he has made great progress and is now a straight A student who abides by the rules.
Be patient with your child and educate yourself. The better understanding about what is going on in your child's head the more success you will have. An excellent book about Early Onset Bipolar disorder is The Bipolar Child by Demetri and Janice Papolos.
Good Luck to you and your son!

Answer 4

All I can do is sympathize with you. Please don't beat yourself up. I am sure you are at your wits end.
The people you have been talking to only drive you further up the wall.
Your son is on so much medicine and only 6 yrs. old. Is the medicine helping ??
I think I would change Dr's.. You need some help, NO, you need a lot of help and I wouldn't stop till someone paid attention to me.

I am a born again believer and I am going to print out your question here and pray over your situation. You will be lifted up in prayer, that is the best answer I have for you.
I hope there is a Father in the picture and that someone is able to give you a break. I hurt for you and your son. Bless his heart !!!

Answer 5

the asthma prevents the best option - putting him on a minor sports team. when i was 8, i developed asthma, and i didn't want to participate in any sports, JUST IN CASE - as it turns out, i made a bigger deal of it than was real - yes, i had hard times breathing after swimming and running

but he really needs an outlet for his energy, and he needs to do that with other people - preferably, sorry, not family (although supervision is definately something needed)

perhaps there's a bowling league he can join, or see if a church (or whatever religion is involved) has a youth group
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basically, he needs to release much of his energy and frustration, and he doesn't know how
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also, as was already said, that many medications will alter your thinking as though you were high - when i was on albuterol, sometimes i would take like thirty puffs and try to hold it in and zero - as a result, i got momentarily high sometimes - now imagine all that in a six year old (regardless of metabolism)

Answer 6

I'm concerned that your kid is totally whacked out on drugs. I mean- he's 6 years old and taking flovent, cingular, albuterol, and now orepred??? That's enough to make an adult climb the walls. He doesn't have ADD, he's high as a kite!
Take him off all drugs, change his diet, test for food allergies, take him off all dairy products.
Are you married to his father? Do you work fulltime?

Answer 7

I would listen to the advice of a doctor over some random person who doesn't know the history of the child. And you are taking a proactive approach rather than just saying it's a phase he'll get over. Good for you!

Answer 8

Hold on. Did you say your 6 year old wants to kill himself?

Then you need to hospitalize him. CRIPES. You know this isn't normal and he needs help right away.

I can't believe you asked this.

It's not about YOU....it's about HIM.

Answer 9

dood see docta fill!