she is 28 and i am 17?

Question

i have a boyfriend and she has a boyfriend and 4 kids we are bestfriends and spend alot of our time together. i have mixed feelings about her. i have always looked at having feelings for the same sex as weird but she has been with a girl before. it kinda makes me feel weird because i have never had mixed feelings about another girl before. She has told me that if she was not with her boyfriend of 3 years she would want to be with me? what do i do? should we stop hanging out? Am i weird? should i be having these feelings? i know she has been having these feelings because she has told me. Is it harmless for us to kiss and cuddle with each other and to hold hands? is it being dishonest to our boyfriends or unfair? I am just confused!

Answer 1

You're 17! You should be enjoying your life, and learning about who you are and what you want. Besides, at 28, she might show you a thing or two. You're not being dishonest. You can always truthfully say, "I've never even looked at another man!"

Answer 2

Wzzup? Well, I'm 17 too, growing 18 this year. I have a boyfriend too. Love him a lot, even if I'm confused whether I wanna go further with him or not. I think you may have the same problem, except that you don't know yet if you love your boyfriend.

Personally, I really think you should try talking to him, at least just to know if he accepts those confused feelings that you are having. If he does, you should talk to the girl in question and see if she wants to be with you or not.

I don't usually believe in relations of the same sex, in fact I don't agree at all, but if you really think this is going to be a serious problem in your life or will be an obstruction to your studies or love life or whatever, then you should really try to do something about it...

Answer 3

This must be very hard for you, but try and use your gut feelings when it comes to this. You do feel it's cheating or you wouldn't have asked and second guessed your self. Girl or guy, if your kissing, hugging with "other" feelings in mind it's cheating. This older women is more mature then you and shouldn't have put you in this type of situation. She is clearly taking advantage of you. It may hurt, but walk away. You don't need this in your life. Talk to your parents, get there input. If you don't feel you can talk to them then maybe call the kids help line or seek counseling. You need to talk with some one and get your feelings shorted out. This situation has the potential to hurt alot of ppl.. like her husband and kids. Think about them and make the right choice.

Answer 4

The problem is not that you have feelings for another woman -- it is NOT weird. But the fact that both of you are in relationships with someone else. That's called "cheating."

The fact she says, she would be with you IF it wasn't for her bf tells me that she's not serious and only wants to get into your pants. Obviously this is causing you more distress than it does her. Which means you have better sense than she does.

It is honest and unfair to your bf's ... if you want to be with one another than do so. But I doubt if she would be willing to make the break. And as for holding hands and cuddling ...What do you think? Do you really, really, feel it would stop there. I don't think so . . . at least I knew I couldn't.

Each of you have to make a choice. But be honest. I feel that this woman is using you because you are younger. don't fall for it.

Answer 5

hmm..sounds to me your actually thinking about cheating. if you have a boyfriend and she has a boyfriend, and you guys hug kiss and cuddle..yes you are cheating. Just because it another woman doesn't mean its not cheating because both of you have boyfriends. I will not be too blunt and tell you not to hang out with her but if you do hang out with her you need to have ALOT of self control to make sure you do take it there and cheat on your boyfriend. But if you know your feelings are strong for this other woman then you may want to take that safe rought and not hang out too much with her until some of these feelings have died down.

Do get caught slipping babe. if your in a relationship dont let temptation mess up a good thing.

Answer 6

Wait until you are 18 to make this decision, if you care about her a lot still know her. However wait till you are 18.. don't cuddle or kiss eachother if you both have boyfriends. Wait till you are 18 and single to be with her if that is what you want.

Answer 7

She is too old to be messing you up like that. If you want to experiment that is your choice but I think she is giving you the ideas which is wrong. Only thing you can do is a three some with one of your boyfriends I guess. Good luck.

Answer 8

Listen carefully: You are young although you may not think it your still growing up. Truthfully i think that this 28 year old is using you to fullfill her sexual desires or perhaps may in time ask you for a threesome with her Boyfriend. Girls are Differant from us lads when it comes to bi testing and if its just that your doing then fine. Beware though as she could only be using you for her and possibly come time her boyfriends fantasy.

good luck. hope this helps

Answer 9

My first question would be do you think your bi?
If you think you might be you might want to experiment with her since shes already there...
if you not then dont worry about it...you can still be friends with her...and kissing, cuddling, and hand holding is still fine...in moderation...
as for your boyfriends...if you're thinkin about each other as more than friends then you definately need to let them go...

Answer 10

yes, you would be dishonest. If this is what she wants she shouldn't be using her boyfrined to help take care of her 4 KIDS!!! Also, you are only 17, if you want to explore w/ a girl, find someone who isn't a cheater to begin with.