Help! I don't know how to word my wedding invitations.?

Question

I had everything figured out, but then I got together with my fiaencae's mom and it went to hell. My fiaencae and I are paying for the whole wedding, but she says that his family is so big that people may not show up if they don't know who's child he is (his dad has 12 brothers and sisters who all have between 3-9 children each), so I should include their names on the invite. I understand where she is coming from, but don't know how to change the wording to reflect this change. Our wording is as follows:

Because you have shared in our lives through
Friendship and Love
We now invite you to share in an event,
A joyous occasion

The Marriage of

Jane Rose Doe
To
John Lee Smith

HELP!!!

Answer 1

Because you have shared in our lives
Through friendship and love,

Jane Rose Doe
and
John Lee Smith

along with their parents Mary & Jim Doe and Marsha and Bill Smith, invite you to share in the joyous occasion of their marriage.

Saturday, February 23, 2007
2:00 pm
at the ------Church

Answer 2

Quite frankly, it's the wedding of you and your fiance and you both are footing the bill for the entire thing so your fiance's mom really has no say in any part of it, including the wording of the invitations. If the family is so large that they don't know who either of you are upon receiving the invitation, then perhaps the shouldn't be coming anyway!! However, it's also not a big enough deal to make an issue out of with your fiance's family. Especially when you all will be family soon. No sense rocking the boat. Best suggestion I could offer would be maybe to add the parents names in brackets underneath your names. Somethink like this...

The Marriage of

Jane Rose Doe
(daughter of Bob and Mary Doe)

To

John Lee Smith
(son of Bill and Sue Smith)

Whatever you choose to do, don't let it stress you. Good luck.

Answer 3

There are a couple of different ways:

Because you have shared in our lives through
Friendship and Love
We now invite you to share in an event,
A joyous occasion
The Marriage of
Jane Rose Doe
daughter of xx and xx
To
John Lee Smith
son of xx and xx

or

Because you have shared in our lives through
Friendship and Love
Together with our parents,
xx & xx and xx & xx
We now invite you to share in an event,
A joyous occasion

Answer 4

Actually - she is right: while the parents are not listed first if they are not paying, they are still usually listed on the invitation. For example:

Because you have shared in our lives through
Friendship and Love
We now invite you to share in an event,
A joyous occasion

The Marriage of

Jane Rose Doe
daughter of Mr & Mrs X
To
John Lee Smith
son of Mr & Mrs Y

Answer 5

My parents are both from large families, so I have to agree with some previous posters that it's entirely possible for people to not associate his name with who he is exactly. Esspecially if his dad has a lot of brothers, because that means most of the uncles have the same last name, and so do most of the cousins.

In my dad's family, there were six sons. So we have children of five uncles who have the same last name as us. Each of my sisters and me all have a cousin with the same first AND last name. I got an invitation to my cousin's wedding, and I had to ask my mom to make sure it was the person I was thinking it was based on the return address.

What I did when I got married was send a picture of my fiance and me to avoid confusion. (It was a destination wedding, so we had wallet sized wedding pictures printed on Yahoo pictures for the announcements, there weren't invitations. The pictures served three purposes: you knew which cousin I was, you saw what my husband looked like because most of my extended family had only seen him once if at all, and you got to "see" the wedding even though you didn't go.)

Don't downplay the importance of un-confusing people. Now, what you don't want to do is say that the parents invite you to the wedding. A better wording would be the wedding of "Your Name/ daughter of Parents Names." As a matter of fact, if you're paying for the wedding, let people know it:

Because you have...
[etc]

Jane Rose Doe
Daughter of ___________
and
John Lee Smith
Son of ___________
request the honor of your presence
at their wedding
on __________

See, this way it's clear that you are inviting them.

Alternately, you can tell your future mother in law that you'll change it to "together with their parents, ___________" if she pays the invitations and postage, including rsvp postage. It adds up.

Or have a nice photo shoot and send an engagement portrait. (When we were planning to have a bigger wedding, we were going to take pictures at the mall for our invitations, this doesn't have to be expensive.)

Answer 6

The only people who belong on the invitation are the bride, groom, and host(s), and you are hosting your own wedding. So you should not include any parents' names on the invitation. It is not a family tree or pedigree. It is an invitation.

A separate card can be printed up that simply reads:
Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Groomsparents
and you can insert that card for the invitations that are going to the groom's extended family. That is proper etiquette for this situation.

Also, the wording you mention in your question is not quite right. You might want to stick with tradition and check an etiquette book for the best invitation wording.

Btw, the spelling is: fiance=the man, fiancee=the woman. Try to get that together before you end up looking silly.

Answer 7

I think your future mother in law is full of it. She just wants her name on the invite. Have you ever recieved a wedding invitation from someone who you had no idea who oit was from? Of course not, people know. People already know when something is coming up because people talk to eachother. Keep it the way you want it. Otherwise you will feel like you gave in. I know about these things- My mom has 10 brothers and sisters and I have over 30 first cousins just on her side. And my husband is 1 of 7. So we both come from big families. And nobody was "confused" for our wedding.

One more thought, since your paying for the wedding yourself, would it be the end of the world if a few people didn't show up because they didn't know you? Do you really want to pay for people that you don't even know!?!

Answer 8

The marriage of

Jane Rose Doe
Daughter of William and Susan Doe

and

John Lee Smith
Son of Richard and Sarah Smith

Answer 9

Do it your way, if they don't know who she is then they either wont come or shouldnt be invited. I understand the big family thing, i have one but we all know each other. Or if you feel you must attach something else leave the invitation alone but add a sheet that says something about the parents, or have the responses sent to her parents (that is the way it is traditionally done) even though you are paying for it , it could help with the confussion because it owuld have her dads name on the return.

Answer 10

I suggest instead of adding whose child it is on the invites, add a note. This way you do not have the trouble of having to alter your invitations. You have a right to do your invitation how you so choose after all it is your wedding; even if it is your own mother's opinion. The last name should atleast give them some clue as to which side of family, and a little hand written note will do the rest.
P.S. - I have never seen an invitation that tells whose child it is.