To respect and love their wives/partners/girlfriends only when all of the men folk available i.e father and grandfathers all cheated on their spouses and in some cases left their spouses to support themselves and their kids
2007-01-11 03:35:57 · 16 answers · asked by JUSEve 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I thought that my husband would have known and seen how his mom was hurt by his dad but he to ended up cheating on me numerous times.
I have seen my son crying when in his bed because he said he misses his dad.All this time his dad was with the other woman.
How can I teach them that being a husband and a father does not mean being away all the time and neglecting family?
2007-01-11 03:56:25 · update #1
They either will or they wont.
It is that simple, some say it is in the blood!
Let's hope they do show more respect than their so called mentors!
2007-01-11 03:41:13 · answer #1 · answered by Welshchick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good question in todays realities of increasing numbers of single parent families.
Basically make sure that any "partners" you may go with show respect to you and your children and that their behaviour (and yours) leads by example. A succession of one night stands or lying cheating idiots is not going to set a good example. Make sure you explain why you split with your partner, what the behaviour was that you didn't like and how it made you feel and affected you.
Now try to find a decent partner, by looking in the right places; the pub, off licence, betting shop, etc are probably not good starting points. Live by your code, stay away from married people and those who don't want to have an equal and caring relationship. Sorry to sound a bit "preachy" but it can be done.
Good luck.
2007-01-11 11:44:18 · answer #2 · answered by David M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make sure they are in the midst of men you love and respect if you have any (i.e. brothers, uncles, friends, their god-fathers, etc.).
I feel for you. The only other thing you can do is sow the seed. Pull them up on less than desirable behaviour with you. They will only get away with as much as you let them. If they see that you accept a cheating partner and you would rather be with someone who cheats, beats, insults, degrades etc. for the sake of your boys than be alone, you are not setting a good example.
Good Luck
2007-01-12 10:07:07 · answer #3 · answered by The Cat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can teach them by telling them they should treat the women in their lives the way they would want a man to treat their mother. You can teach them by telling them how it affected you when their father cheated on you. I have 4 sons (8-18)and this is how I put it to them, it doesnt mean they still wont go out and cheat but at least they get to know what it feels like from the other side and ask them how would they feel if the guy you dated or were dating cheated on you...they would want to break his neck!! Let them know thats how it feels for the women in their lives if they cheat on them. Good luck.
2007-01-11 11:41:37 · answer #4 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Use their own lives as the example.
Having fathers/grandfathers/etc that chated on thier spouses has certainly affected the child's life in a negative way (divorce, parental fighting, etc)
Then show the alternative behavior that you want to instill.
2007-01-11 11:41:08 · answer #5 · answered by Gotta Question 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Best way....easy, be a role model, dont preach to them or they will get bored, they wanna learn cool stuff when they are young but they will always or SHOULD always respect there parents. Also the ppl they hang out with are big influences.
Just give them some love and the respect will follow
2007-01-11 11:40:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just explain to them how much you have been hurt by all of the other members of the group,. Show them what it has done to you and ask them if they think it was right or wrong. Of course this will depend on how old they are right now, you may have to wait a while if they are very young.
2007-01-11 11:41:53 · answer #7 · answered by Agustin-Jean F 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your family has been hurt by an infidelity, maybe your sons felt it.
you have to be sure that they learned the lesson, they might see it as something not important, or they might thing it is wrong.
Besides, cheaters tend to be possessive an jealous so if your sons get cheated they are going to understand how does it feels.
In my experience there are some things you cant teach to your sons, because they have to live it to understand it.
2007-01-11 11:46:35 · answer #8 · answered by Sebastian 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They will have to learn that on their own.
You can give them ideas, but they must endure the pain that follows bad decisions in life and God hlep them when their woes strike like Hornets and sting them for life because they made a bad decision that haunts them for ever.
They must understand that there is nothing better once they have fallen in love regardless what happens afterwards...
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2007-01-11 11:41:27 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
boys need a father, but not a bad one! if you think your husbands behaviour is going to effect your son, as your husbands fathers affected him, do you really want to stay with him? they dont sound like a very nice family! you may be better off without him!
2007-01-12 19:19:41 · answer #10 · answered by joanne f 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it does not matter what all the other males did you tell and teach your young men what is right ,when they take a wife or girl ,you did your part as a mom and they can't say they did not know or you did not tell them ,they will respect you for telling them the right thing
2007-01-11 11:41:30 · answer #11 · answered by elizabeth_davis28 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋