orgasm....?

Question

ok...

i've been with my boyfriend for nearly 2 years now and we are completely ourselves around each other and love being together. we have a great sex life EXCEPT i don't think i've ever orgasmed - i don't think it's his technique and it's definatlely not the size.

any idea why i can't?

any ideas how i can?

Answer 1

A few years ago I was dating a girl who was in the same situation. At first she was reluctant to let me know, but after she did I told her that I was open to trying a variety of things with her to help her achieve her goal. I believe the two factors that eventually helped her was more open communication between us and a mask. I told her I would be completely be willing to try anything she suggested, and it first started out with exactly how she wanted to be touched which helped a lot more. This improved satisfaction for her greatly, however she still couldn't have an orgasm, and she said that she didn't want me to be able to see her face while she had her first one. Jokingly I told her I'd wear a blind fold and she jumped at the idea. After a few times trying that she did manage to have a clitoral orgasm.

So I guess just evaluate what is it for you? Technique? Self-consciousness? Or maybe just pressure from society telling you how to enjoy your body? Find the root of the problem and you'll be good to go.

Answer 2

Most people do not realize that more than 75% women never ever experience an orgasm, less than half have experienced it only once. You can help your sex life by getting creative, you can also try oral or manual stimulation. Other factors can also be interfering some way or the other. Sometimes a woman's connection with her sexual function can be an issue. When engaging in the act block everything out and allow your yourself to really enjoy the moment, kind of like floating in water. Close your eyes and let loose.
It helps if you can experiment with yourself, get to really know your body by spending some alone time with you and do not be afraid of touching yourself sensually. Once you have gotten familar with yourself (and you will be surprised how much you did not know about yourself) then you can be better able to guide your partner.

Answer 3

You are as weird as it sounds very normal. Most women do not ever orgasm (I mean the big-O )or have a difficult time having one. They can have smaller ones but not the mind blowing ones ( I have difficult a time achieving these myself) The g-spot is located just below on the upper part inside your vagina. Once you man can tap in to that area and you can feel (and let him know to go fast or slow, deeper etc what ever you like and feels good to you) Then you should be able to achieve an orgasm. Try woman on top its a good way for you to maneuver him in the right spot. Also you need to be very relaxed and let all inhibitions go, so clear you mind take a hot bath a glass of wine (or anything you like to drink that relaxes you) and set a mood maybe to help it. Also you can try pleasing yourself to reach and orgasm only you know your own body and what you like and once you find it you can guide you man there too. I hope that helps and good Luck and when you do have the big-o you will know, it is indescribable

Answer 4

There is more than one kind of orgasm. Some, well actually most woman don't have vaginal orgasms which is acheived from the rubbing or poking motion of the males "genitals" during intercourse. But not having an orgasm that way is TOTALLY NORMAL. Often times when a woman can not reach an orgasmic stage during regular vaginal intercourse it is perceived to mean that she will basically only be able to have a clitorial orgasm acheived through clitoral stimulation.

Answer 5

women most of the time when they can't orgasm is in their head. are you there while you have sex? are you in the moment and happy? or are you thinking about what groceries you gotta pick up the next day?

alotta times it can be that simple, just don't be in your head so much, try enjoying what your doing and just being in the moment. another thing may be just a lack of mental stimulation, talk to each other while having sex, and talk dirty, experiment with different positions and maybe even try using a vibrator while he's doing ya. another thing that might help is watching porn together while your having sex, or maybe even just masterbate while he watches or does it next to you, get comfortable having an orgasm while he's around even if he's not causing it. there is most likley a mental block if you don't think it's physical. now i have heard there are a small percentage of women who can't orgasm but to me that sounds like an excuse not to have sex at all. but yeah, try those things and i'd just say try harder and really enjoy yourself, playing out your fantasies may help too.

Answer 6

The number one reason why women don't reach orgasm with their boyfriends is: the clitoris! Find it. Play with it. Learn how best you can reach orgasm by yourself, then teach your boyfriend where it is and how he can best stimulate it to pleasure you.

There are many good books out there that can help you and your partner learn how to pleasure each other more and more. You and he both will enjoy exploring all the different ways you can please each other. If, after expermentation, exploration, and a good dose of reading, you are still having problems; then consult your physician and/or a therapist who may be able to help you.

Life is about pleasure. You deserve to be happy.

Answer 7

Maybe the two of you are too focused on satisfying him. You should be honest and tell him that the love making is great but you never reach orgasm. The two of you can then explore your body through oral sex and manual stimulation clitorally and anally. Trust me the first time I orgasm'd, my legs were butterfly ******, my clit was being stimulated with Bryan's tongue and his finger followed my body language until I was pretty much running from it until my back was literally against the wall and I had to relax and allow myself to ***!

Answer 8

Try oral. I have been with women that can only get off clitatoral. They love sex, but they cant orgasm that way. So get real relaxed and have your man go down on you and dont let him stop until you have your orgasm, trust me you will love it.

Answer 9

I think some chicks just take more time to...well grow into orgasm's I had a girlfriend that at 20 she didn't orgasm...but at 40 whoa....shes a cuming machine..

Answer 10

women have a harder time and often dont. If you had one trust me you would know. Relax, try more foreplay, masturbate when your together. You'll find what works for you. Stress doesnt help so if thats a problem work on it.