Should children be seen and not heard in public?

Question

Did you know this?

1.) 9 out of 10 parents are in total denial about how atrocious their kids behavior is.
2.) 10 out of 10 parents get upset when a stranger in public has been assulted/insulted by their progeny and the person tells the kid to cut it out.
3.) 9 out of 10 diners do not find little M'ykaylah's screeching and wailing cute. Especially when they are paying $40 a plate (or more) for their meal.
4.) Some adults do not like kids (gasp) and really want to enjoy themselves in adult centered places without the distraction of unruly brattz.

1st poster: WOW!!! What a newsflash! I was a kid before too? Really? My mother told me she made me in her evil science lab under grandma's house.

Answer 1

(STANDING OVATION!) AMEN!!!

There are so many parents today that have NO control over their little demons. I was NEVER allowed to run amok the way many children are permitted to today. If I was close to being out of control, I was immediately removed from the situation. There's a difference between fussiness - when a kid hits his limit, that's normal - and child with no rules. Case in point: I was out to dinner with some friends one night - and it was not at the local Dennys, it was a nice Italian restaurant - there was this 3 year old who was running around the dinning room, climbing on people, putting his grubby little mitts on their plates, screeching his head off, crashing into the waitstaff - the whole nine yards. What did his parents do? Drank their wine and ate their meal. The manager came around and apologized to each affected table and took 10% off each bill. When those parents went to leave, the manager told them in no uncertain terms, that they would not be welcome back at the restaurant. The entire dining room applauded. Another time I went back to the same place, and there was a couple with their 18 month old (I had a little conversation with them, that's how I know the age) who sat in his highchair playing with his Cheerios and having a grand time for himself. Just as the parents' entrees were being served, he'd had enough and was getting cranky. The parents asked for their meals to be wrapped, packed him up, and left. I wanted to hug them. =) When I get seated at a restaurant, I purposely ask not to be near small children if it's possible. I was once on a NY to LA flight, and this little monster (5 yrs old and old enough to know better!) behind me kicked my seat the entire time. I asked his mother to have him stop, she ignored me the first five times I asked. So, I told the kid to go outside and play. (In midair!) His mother actually asked me how I could have the audacity to say that to a child. I told her if he didn't stop kicking my seat, I was going to break his legs. Funny how the kicking stopped.

There are places and times where a rambunctious child is acceptable - at the park or playground, for example - and places and times where they are just not welcome - like at a wedding or a fairly fancy restaurant. I really just wish people would give their kids rules and discipline and know when and where and what is appropriate.

Answer 2

Yes some people need to raise their children. When I was growing up we knew not to misbehave and make a scene in public. My nieces and nephews know not to make a scene when they go out in public and people are always shocked and amazed at how well the children in my family behave.

Now with that being said do I think that children should be seen and not heard? Do you think you should be seen and not heard as a woman? Children are not second class citizens, they have just as much right to be anywhere they are as you do. If you do not want to be around children then do go where children will be. Go to a restaurant where the plates start at $75, you will be hard pressed to find little "M'ykaylah" their or little sarah and you can forget about little Mikey too.

Not all children misbehave and if they do ignore them. I'm sure when you go to any public place and you see a bunch of loud obnoxious guys being jerks you ignore them, leave the establishment or try to stay out of thier earshot. Just think of children who misbehave as that same crowd of obnoxious guys only , unlike the men children don't know any better.

Answer 3

I agree that there are certain places children do not belong for it is not that they cannot do these things but it is that their concepts are not large enough to grasp the idea of what is being said and done at the "event" also for the fact that many parents today do not control their children or give them other means of entertainment while at these "events" Children cannot and will not sit for very long periods of time. I remember once recently when I had taken my 9 year old daughter with me to a dinner and she was a little antsy. She was told to watch the children of that family over there for they were very well behaved children. She began to laugh out loud as she watched these children and asked him if really and truly wanted her to act like them. Watch them closely--oh my he said and apologised to my daughter for her had no idea that they were mean very mean children. They were quiet yes it please the parents and the other adults around them..When asked later they said yes they would have preferred pizza served in front of the TV if they had their way.
Even in the "mall" we get mauled by children it does not mean that they cannot be there it is tha the parents need to take control within reason of not only themselves but also their children.

Answer 4

I've taken my girls everywhere. My oldest will be 3 in April and has already been to a movie theater. She was pretty much good throughout the whole movie. About 10 minutes before it ended, we left. She started to get restless and I didn't think other people should have to hear her. My husband and I also take our children out to dinner with us when we go. They don't act up. Even at their young ages, they know not to. I can't stand when parents have screaming kids anywhere besides the park and places suitable for children. Doctor's offices are the worst. My kids know to sit next to me. Other kids run all over the office. I don't find that appropriate at all. I guess it's the fact the my mom raised me to be polite, so my children will be too.

Answer 5

Eventhough i am a mom of seven kids i know exactly what you are talking about. I adore kids hence I have so many and I am exspecting triplets in April but when my husband and I go out for a meal and leave the kids at home we do so for a reason and I hate the sound of whailing kids when you are out for the evening. Too many parents pander to their kids every need therefore these blowouts occur in public.Parents leave the kids at home once in a while,some places are not for kids.My neighbours bring there nine&eleven yr old daughters EVERYWHERE for dinner to a pub EVERYWHERE.......and they stay out when the kids should be in bed.
Personally I ensure my kids are in bed at a reasonable hour so they couldn't possibly be out with us in adult surroundings.My 14yr old is the last to go to bed and he has to be in bed by 8.45 and lights out at 9.15pm. Aside from that at the weekends all kids are in bed by 10.00-10.30pm
More importantly me adapt the children should be seen and not heard principle after a certain hour.
in my house after the kids dinner and baths etc....usually around seven only the older two kids(12&14) are still up-they have no t.v,radio,video game rights and where possible they are not allowed idle chat they may speak in a quite indoor voice if my husband and I ask them a question otherwise no chat its winding down time and if they wake the babies they get an almighty spanking.

Answer 6

I think that I have two arguments to this case: one- sometimes when a parent does that to a child (not let them speak out in public) they may never want to speak and be shy for the rest of their lives. But, when a kid screams when people are shopping or eating, of course it bothers them, when wouldent it?? If it were me, i would let her/him do it in some places (parks, fast food resteraunts-because what kid wont yell in a micky d's) and in some places, I would probably would not take them to a resteraunt that has a 40 dollar per plate dinner. Its hard to say what I would do because I dont have kids.

Answer 7

Instead of blaming the kids for their behavior maybe we should be looking at the parents who are raising them that way.
And yeah while I may not enjoy a screaming child while I'm trying to eat I also do not enjoy the man yelling at his wife for something, or the wife nagging at her husband, or the couple that has to eat with their mouth open and let everyone else know what they eating...but guess what that's what it's like when you go out in PUBLIC. If you really can't stand these things, then I guess you better just stay at home. And where exactly did you find your stats at??

Answer 8

The problem is the fundamentals in the country have been lost. Manners and good grace. These can be taught even to children. My kids have never done what you are explaining not because I am lucky mom because I have taught my kids manners. They are taught if you act up like that you will not be brought back. And they know I mean it. More parents in this country need to rain in there kids and realize that they are unruly brats. I do agree that they should be seen but not totally not unheard.
They are after all humans. They deserve respect just like you do. If you treat kids with some semblance of respect you will get some back in return. Its amazing how that works. Try it see how it works you will be amazed. I think when you become a parent you need to remember your going to be that parent and I hope you don't forget your own views and teach your kids some manners.

Answer 9

YES! All children should have respect for other people. Especially in a public place. OMG I am so Old School. I have kids and I love kids but I agree, I don't want to listen to someone elses brat kid acting like an idiot when I am in a restaurant etc. even if my kids are with us. I am proud to say that I can take my kids anywhere and be certain that they will behave. why? Because I taught them to behave! Bad parents beget bad kids.

Answer 10

Parents are the ones responsible for the behavior of their child. I am told on a regular basis how wonderful my daughter's manners and behavior are, but that's because I have worked with her on this, letting her know what is and is not appropriate in public places. As long as the child is properly schooled in manners, they should be allowed to speak freely. My daughter frequently asks other people or myself about things she sees and hears, and I or whoever she spoke to is more than happy to answer her, because she is young and desires to understand her surroundings. She also asks very nicely. Children certainly should not be forbidden to say anything, because otherwise their development will stagnate. But I do think that more parents should be more aware of their children's behavior in public.

I think you, though, should realize that, because they are young, children do not understand a lot of things like adults' desire for quiet and relaxation. Do not be so critical until you have children of your own. It is a difficult job to raise a child. Also, it looks like your manners needed worked on when you were a child, and I bet you were one of the little heathens. If you really want to express your hatred for children, buy a website at ihatekids.com or something and start a *****/gripe forum.