Question for atheists,free-thinkers....?

Question

There are xians in my family. How do you handle it when you have to go to family functions and things. I know I don't have to go to them, but I don't want them to think I'm a coward or something beacause I'm outnumbered. Anyway, sometimes they don't even bring up anything about their religion but I just feel like they're analyzing everything I do, or it's just a strange something between us. Do you feel that way too sometimes? How many in your family share your position?

Answer 1

Joe! something wrong with you fingers! can't you type the whole word. It is Christians, not xians, just in case you can't spell it.

Be yourself, and try not to be such a paranoid person. You are going to family function, enjoy your time with your family. Show them the respect they deserve, and then you can move on with your life. It is that simple.

Answer 2

I have the same problem. I am the only atheist in my family, as far as I know. However I won't tell my family of my beliefs. I just try to get through family functions without discussing religion. I don't see any reason to upset the older people in my family. They really don't know better and they will only worry about my soul.

I definitely feel like my family analyzes everything I do. Thats one more reason I prefer to keep my beliefs to myself - I don't want them to try to analyze why I turned out so bad (being atheist).

Answer 3

Most of my family is Catholic, and they're well aware that I'm an atheist (even my devout grandmother).

The topic of religion NEVER comes up at family gatherings, though. We don't really care about that. We care about being together and having a good time.

If you feel like they're analyzing everything you do, it might be due to your own insecurities. Shrug it off... if these people truly love and care about, and support you, your religious beliefs (or lack thereof) are a moot issue.

Answer 4

Remind them that nobody died in the name of athiism, other than those killed by the church for not believing what they believed. When smart people started figuring out the problems with the bible and how the earth was round...and revolved around the sun and whatnot... the church burned them at the stake.

Galileo, after perfecting a telescope actually found moons around Jupiter and figured out how the whole enchilada revolved around the sun. The church wanted him dead as well, but Galileo was smart enough to immediately publish his findings and become a VERY public figure so the church couldn't touch him. Ask me how the church reacted.... you got it... they removed the parts of the bible that contained info of the earth being the center of the universe.

The bible was written by humans and edited many times since it's writing to better "fit" the "real" world. There was no magic book called the "bible" handed down to deciples. Separate pieces of work were put together and edited to create the Bible to give the church more barganing power. Guess who decided which of those works would be contained in the bible and which ones were thrown out... yup... the church... not Jesus... not a god... the church. Any works that did not serve the church well were thrown out... including several works written by Jesus Christ himself criticizing those same churches. Go figure.

Tell them that you do not condemn them for going to church and ask them to learn from the past and not condemn you for understanding facts and thinking for yourself. Evolution is a fact that has been proven a million times over. So much so that many churches even talk of it. The ones that fight it, tie the entire evolutionary process to the theory of one man, Darwin. That is like comparing the entire theological process to Orel Roberts.

Believe me.... they have a LOT more to analyze than Science and History... enjoy who you and go on with your life :-)

Answer 5

I go and I shut up about it. It's the polite thing to do. There is a strange vibe when you are at a Christian function with Christians who know you are not, though. It's actually the reverse of what you said I have found. They seem to think I am sitting there thinking less of them for believing, or making fun of them in my head.

Answer 6

I have rabid Irish Catholics in my family, and I avoid them completely. I tried spending time with them, but after enough drinks they'd always go on the attack. I have one son who shares my position, and one who is undecided at this time (he will decide when he's older). There's no tension or conflict with that, because we don't discuss it much out of mutual respect.

If your family isn't putting you down or trying to force you to agree with them, I think they're being pretty decent about things. Don't worry about family get-togethers, it could be a lot worse!

Answer 7

well i'm agnostic and i have a few others who are agnostic anyway with the religious family members religion very rarely comes up so try not to worry about something that might not even come up if it does then just express to your family that you would rather not talk about religion or anything having to do with religion and just change the subject otherwise if they don't respect your wishes then leave

Answer 8

Hey I am strictly secular and very active.
My (jewish) family has a lot of seventh day Adventists in it. (dont ask)
I go to many church functions, weddings etc...
I am, just as proud of my lack of faith as they are of their faith.
I demand respect for my viewpoint, just as they demand respect for theirs.
The difference is that i will defend their right to practice their faith, and hold their beliefs, when i do not get the same response i pull out a bible and slaughter them.
The only way to defeat a committed Christian in a religious argument is to go onto his home ground and show him that you know a heck of a lot ,more about his faith than he does.
I swear they all think i am, an angel in disguise testing them :-)

Do not be intimidated, remember they are the ones with the invisible Friends, not you. You are the tolerant open minded one and you scare the sh-it out of them.

So keep the (lack of) faith buddy.

( and they look at you like that because they are trying to figure out how long it will take you to burn)

Answer 9

...That's because you're PARANOID. They're your family! They don't analyze everythign you do just because you are different than them. If they really are practicing Christians (incidentally, what's with this "Xians"--afraid to say or type the word?), then of course they would love you to become one too--but they also love you and respect you.



Edit: Re:Whoever said this--"show them just how supid their belief in an invisible magic sky-pixie really is"

Are you people serious?? And you claim to be open-minded, free thinkers. Supposedly, Christians (or, "xians") are the critical, closeminded ones--maybe not so much, huh?

Who here is ridiculing someone else's belief system?
Think about it.

Answer 10

It's been my experience that the best approach is kindness and generosity of "spirit." For example, if they want to "say grace" while holding hands, I join in the hand-holding part & keep quiet while they talk to the air. (No, I don't bow my head, and I refrain from making faces.) If you act civilly, even most of the loonier ones come to accept that someone thinks differently. I also try to discourage those who are tempted to "save" me with various, and usually humorous, ruses. If that fails, I gently suggest that (for example) a family dinner is not the proper venue for a theological argument. (But if they want to "take it outside," then it's fine with me if they want to be humuliated yet again.)

The majority of my extended family are "believers" and this method has worked for decades.