My boyfriend and I get in arguments all the time about him going out with his guy friends, because I want to come with him sometimes or I don't want him to go out at all. Usually when they go out they will go to the bar, stripe clubs and night clubs. He only goes out with them maybe two times during the week and once on the weekend. However, he and I do go out with his friends on special occasions (birthdays, New years, etc.) The problem is not a lack of quality time together, we do that and I do go out with my girlfriends without him. But I want to go with him sometimes on "guy’s night out". I know I should back off because it is "guy’s night out", but why can't I?
2007-01-11 03:22:57 · 12 answers · asked by roxie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The obvious answers is that there is an issue of trust based on the types of venues these "guys night out" events are held (stip clubs?)
But maybe subconsciously you are testing him. Knowing how much his friends mean to him, perhaps you want assurance that you mean more, that he will always choose you. Now this could either be an insecurity issue, or a control issue.
Ask yourself - if / when he chooses to go out with the guys over you, do you feel anger or disappointment with his choice? Anger means you are trying to control him, disappointment means you have an insecurity about your relationship
2007-01-11 03:40:53 · answer #1 · answered by Aris28 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a lack of maturity.
Which is fine, that is what being young is about.
Going to bars and Strip clubs 3 nights a week should be a warning sign if you are wanting this relationship to turn into something though.
Think about what kind of husband and father he will be if he cannot limit his "guys nights" out?
All of this depends on how serious your relationship is, if you are just casually dating that is one thing, but if you are into a physical relationship, I would suggest you do some soul searching if he still feels the need to party with the boys 3 nights a week.
Peace and Good Luck!
2007-01-11 11:31:09 · answer #2 · answered by C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You probably aren't OK with him having guy time, because chances are, his friends are hoes, and you are probably subconciously worried that they may rub off on him. "Guy Time" is alright, but hittin' up the *itty bars and clubs two to three times a week is a problem. Wherever alcohol is involved, cheating is a huge possibility, especially because you two fight before he goes out, so that might give him some ammunition to do wrong. It's okay to go out on the town with the boys once a week, but any more than that is ridiculous. It's one thing to sit and play PS2, it's another to go to the club.
2007-01-11 11:30:56 · answer #3 · answered by BudLightRocks56954 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you went out with your boyfriend on his guy night, it wouldn't be a guy night anymore would it?I can understand wanting to share in all your B/Fs activities but every bloke needs a space to do blokey things. Why not go out with your girlfriends and do girlie stuff while he's out doing his thing? I can see this causing big problems if the arguements continue and believe it's not worth it if you love him.
2007-01-11 11:38:33 · answer #4 · answered by Trixie Bordello 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you might be insecure about parts of your relationship. We all need time away to be with our friends it's good for us. I used to be the same way and it took a long time for me to feel secure with this part of our relationship, it stemmed from me being married and having been cheated on by my husband. It's now 5 and half years into my current relationship and I am okay with him going out without me. But it took a long time to get there and I had to learn to love myself and feel secure with who we both were before it got to that point though.
2007-01-11 11:31:51 · answer #5 · answered by freyja5683 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two issues here.
1. Worry about yourself, mostly your insecurities and why you choose to be with this man in the first place.
2. Do you expect him to change for you? If so, think again. He most likely won't becuase change comes from love. From the sound of it, he's lookin for love in all the wrong places and you're his temporary outlet for the things he sees and can't have.
2007-01-11 11:31:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dated a guy that's friends got mad at him for always bring me for guys night out. I think you just don't want him to cheat. I don't think there are that many girls that like it when there bf's go out with there friends. One guy is smart while manys are dumb.
2007-01-11 11:33:08 · answer #7 · answered by lex83201 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to give him some space. Both of you need to spend time with your friends alone. If you don't there will always be arguments that will lead to a break up
2007-01-11 11:34:32 · answer #8 · answered by Eyes of Green 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It just means you love him, but that also has to include trust. If you do love and trust him, you have to let him go do these things. Otherwise you might me a little smothering and loose him.
2007-01-11 11:28:22 · answer #9 · answered by auced6371 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know!!!! I can't stand that either :'(. Lets go to the psychologist together LOL
2007-01-11 11:29:53 · answer #10 · answered by Die Sonne 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋